The Last Fantasy
by Lulu Mage
Summary: The world is about to fall to an end, were the great hoodlum Steve Duntduntdaaa is going to take over the world. The world is in the hands of a small group of five, a hooker, drinking, geonome, a famous, blond, blitz ball player, a former, dumb, prince
1. The Beginning of a Journey

I would like to tell you if you haven't read this you are missing out on some funny stuff here so read like you never read before, but just to tell you, me and my friend (the one who wrote this with me) put our selves in it to make it more fun, I am Kasey, she is Shannon, and we put some of our other friends in it to, so don't stop reading just because you don't know who some people are. We put in Lotr, D N Angel, FF, and a lot more, but some are not in here yet because I'm not done typing it up, so enjoy the reading. And if you have any ideas or comments Review, please. Thank you.

In Zarieon every ones favorite game of the year was coming to town, there were lines of people that would never end for tickets. Well I can't really say that o.k.; the lines were long, but not ever ending. Anyway, the teams were getting off there airships and the crowds were cheering at the Blitz ball champions. The coach of the Zanarken Abes was coming forward when BAAM, he tripped over a ladybug and fell face first on the ground as everyone in the crowed stood silent.

While this was all happening Zidane was at his weekly spot at the Bar.

"Give me another pint will ya Bob." Zidane asked while he finished his first. As he said this, it caught the attention of a hobbit sitting right next to him.

"They come in pints!" Zidane having a pounding head ache and turned to the hobbit.

"Shut up Pippin!" The barkeeper gave Zidane his drink.

"Bad day Zidane?"

"Yeah, the lines for Blitz ball were to long for tickets, Gena and Rebecca said you now it's all over, and well at least it's not as bad as last week." The barkeeper nodded and giggled.

"Yeah, you were the only one in the bar, and every time you have a problem or a bad day my pay just shoots up like I have never seen before."

A few minutes later there was a pile of shot glasses right next to Zidane. "Gee, uh Zidane I think you had enough. I mean I'm responsible for this." Bob looks nervous as the Geonome tried to drink.

"I'll…tell you… when hip I had enough." Zidane lifted his head and gave the barkeep a very evil look. "You know what…I think I had enough." A puff of smoke rose above Zidane. He looked around trying to find were it came from, he looked over to Pippin and Merry and saw that the hobbits were smoking on some rather large pipes. With smoke all in his head he made a loud choking cough. Hearing Zidane coughing Merry turned and asked in a silly voice.

"You know you should really do something about that cough, it sounds like you're coming down with a cold or something." Zidane rolled his eyes, got up and walked out the door.

"I'm leaving now Bob so just put it on my tab o.k." Bob nodded and got a very large piece of paper out and put a lot of numbers on it. Writing it down Bob waved to Zidane as he walked out the door kind of banging into everything that was in his way.

As Tidus, the star player from the Zanarken Abes helped his coach up off the ground. The crowed cheered and gathered around to get autographs and just to touch him. Tidus yelled out with everyone grabbing him and shoving blitz balls in his face for autographs.

"Hold on. Hold on. Hey…let go of me!" Then the couch interrupted saving Tidus form total suffocation.

"O.k. o.k. everybody move a side. The champions are coming!" Tidus walked through the crowd and saw Yuna in the audience. Tidus didn't walk, but ran up to her. They looked deep into each other's eyes, Tidus grabbed Yuna and hugged her close to him. Yuna wrapped her arms around him and hugged him back smiling. While Tidus and Yuna were hugging and talking Garnet started to run up. Garnet is kind of like Zidane's girl and she and Yuna are very good friends like best friends. They haven't seen each other in a while. So…Garnet sees Yuna and starts skippy-a-do-daing over to her. Yuna was so surprised that she stared jumping up and down. Yuna and Garnet are skipping, jumping and screaming and it seems they can't get anymore annoying and so here there screaming in a high girly voice one by one.

"Ahhhhhhh." Then.

"Ahhhhhhh." After about 4 minutes later they were still doing the annoying scream.

"Ahhhhhhh." While Yuna and Garnet were screaming, Zidane came up behind Garnet and maked fun of them by jumping and screaming in a high girly voice too. Garnet turned around and hugged Zidane with a big fangirl squeek.

"Oh honey-bunny, boo-boo, fruity-pie, I missed you so much." Garnet put her arms around Zidane, but he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, Yeah. Whatever. Now let go of me. Every body's looking at us. Now where's that loser of a blitz ball player who calls himself a champion." Tidus over heard and replied.

"Ha…ha, very funny Zidane. Just because you think you're the greatest at everything doesn't mean it's true. For instance when you thought you could bet meat blitz ball and, hmm. Let's see, you lost 32 to 0. That doesn't make me a loser. Now, am I right or am I right?" Zidane interrupted still thinking that he is the best at everything.

"First of all you are not always right, and it was 52 to 0…No wait, leave it to what you said!" Tidus rolled his eyes and smiled.

"I knew that it was 52 to 0, but I just didn't want you to feel bad." Just then, a gust of wind blew in their faces. The ground began to shake, and out appeared a giant bubble. There were screams in the background people running in all different directions. There was a mass of confusion everywhere.

"We gotta do something!" Garnet yelled as she and Yuna ran towards the bubble.

"Hey! Men are supposed to save the world! Right Tidus? Tidus? Hey, wait up!" With that Zidane went to join the fight. They attacked with ice magic, fire, thunder and water, but the bubble seemed immune nothing was working. Tidus got frustrated and shouted out.

"It won't die! What are we suppose to do?" Garnet and Yuna were losing there faith, Tidus and Zidane were doing all they could to kill the giant bubble, then all of a sudden Rikku came along. With her blond hair and swirly, al bed eyes, she greeted everyone with her cute, preppy, 15 year old, high, annoying voice.

"Hi, guys! Ooh a BUBBLE! I wanna pop it!" Rikku twirled up to the bubble and it popped (Bip). "Woooow…. Okay, bub-bye now." With that Rikku ran off and disappeared. Everyone was speechless, which of course was just Tidus, Garnet, Yuna and Zidane. They were staring in endless quite, until Zidane broke the silence.

"How-What! Why in the bloody, light didn't you morons think of THAT! I mean it's a bubble for crying out loud! YOU 'POP' BUBBLES!"

"Yeah. Then why didn't you pop the bubble Zidane?" Tidus added.

"I was going to, but um… Rikku beat me to it." Garnet gave a sigh. "I'm going back to the bar. Good-luck in your tournament, Tidus your going to need it."

"Hey!" Yelled Yuna. "You should get some rest for the big game Tidus." As the four of them started to leave for the best inn, there was a familiar noise.

"(Kweh)!" A old ragged, ruffled, short, little man with a frizzy, white beard, came ridding by on a chocobo. He pulled up next to Zidane and the group, and climbed down.

"Hello there." He had an old, gimpy voice. "It seems that a time has come when someone is trying to purse the 'magical magical'. I mean, that's the only reason why giant bubbles attack cities and towns."

"Or a bubble machine blew up." Tidus joked.

"Quiet, you no good, Blitz ball, blondie! There will be no smart comments from any of you. Now you, cute girl with black, ask me about the 'magical magical'." In a sweat voice Garnet obeyed.

"What's the 'magical magical'?"

"Why, it's a magical magic that does many magic, magical things, magically." Everyone stood with there mouths to the floor not understanding what the guy said. "I have a feeling your confused. Don't worry. I know everything about the 'magical magical'."

"Well then, tells us what it is." Zidane demanded impatiently. "I don't have time for little, old, gimps telling me things that don't make sense. I'm missing my hourly drink."

"I did tell you what the 'magical magical' is. Someone's trying to get it, and you must stop them. Stop them before they rule the world!" The old man replied in a rash voice.

"Why us?"

"Because I said so. I say you must."

Zidane shook his head in confusion. "Wait a minute. You didn't specifically tell us about this 'magical magical'."

"That's all I know."

"-But you said you knew everything about the 'magical magical'?"

"Oh, I do, and I just told you everything I knew about it."

"That wasn't that much." Tidus sighed

"It's more than you used to know, boy. Now, it's all four of your destinies to peruse the one that needs to be pursed."

"And who is that?"

"Sorry, geonome, no more questions. Gotta go." With that the tiny man climbed up on to his chocobo and rode quickly away.

"He's on something. Mushrooms, Coke, Weed, Diet Pepsi, yup he sure is on something." Zidane looked up into the sky and gasped. "Oh no. I'm late!"

"Zidane!" Garnet whined in her sweet little voice. "Why don't you take me out to dinner?" Zidane looked at her.

"Oh no… I mean, of course I will." Garnet smiled and planned everything out.

"Oh! Let's go eat there, have treats over there, be alone some where, look at the stars, and watch the sunset rise!"

"Umm... Sunsets don't rise."

"Quiet Tidus, you'll ruin her dream date." Yuna proclaimed.

Zidane grabbed on to Tidus' collar. "Help me! I'll do anything!"

"Come on Zidane!" Garnet said in excitement as she dragged Zidane away. "And then….."

"Aw. Aren't they a cute couple? You should do that Tidus." Yuna smiled and looked up at Tidus.

"Oh. Well, um…I gotta get some rest for the big game. Ya know, like you said." With that Tidus zipped away to the inn. For a while Yuna stood there all alone. Suddenly a black mage ran into her.

"Whoa! Are you okay?" Yuna helped the little mage up in to his feet.

"The bunny rabbit is coming!" The little guy hid behind Yuna and pointed to where he had just come from. Yuna looked down the street and gasped.

A little, fluffy, white bunny was coming towards them. It was singing a little song while it hopped:

Whittle bunny foo foo----BANG

"Duck soup!" Yuna said as she blew the smoke off her pistol.

"Duck what, but…but it's a rabbit."


	2. Going on a Journey, but not doing anythi...

Meanwhile on Zidane's and Garnet's date….

"It's getting dark. Come, let's go look at the stars." Garnet said as she dragged Zidane along.

"Where do you want to go look at them?"

"Hmm." Garnet stopped to think for a moment. "I know! Let's go look at the stars at your place! You can show me how well you're doing!" Garnet smiled and waited for Zidane to lead the way.

"Um… sure. It's this way." Unfortunately, Zidane lost his home in a tragic fire, and has been drinking in depression ever since. Now, he lives with his sister-in-law and his year-older brother Kuja.

Kuja and Zidane are alike when it comes to character, other then that they don't get along. So, the only person that links them together is the one and only Shannon that everyone loves.

"So tell me about your place, honey-bun."

"Well… I have a grand castle by the ocean, along with a shining lighthouse, acres of land that stretches for miles, lots of gold, and a lovely present just for you, my heart."

"Honey-bunny, boo-boo! You're sooo romantic!" Garnet squeezed Zidane. "Wow! I can't wait to see it, this will be the best time of my life! You, me, and a castle by the sea!"

"Ahem. There is one downer." Zidane said in a ruff voice as Garnet looked up at him with her dark sparkling brown eyes. How could Zidane tell her the truth and that he's a bum who drinks. "My brother and his wife live with me."

"You mean, you're sister-in-law and her husband, your brother, lives with you. Right?"

"Uh… yeah. It doesn't seem like it in that way, but yeah." _She bought it_ Zidane snickered to himself.

"Will I get to see Shannon? I haven't seen her in a long while. I wonder how she is. By the way, Zidane, you should get closer to Kuja. I mean he is your brother."

"I will. Let's see…. It's just over that hill. Come on."

BAAM…BAAM!

"That you, Zidane?" Shannon said as she slides down the hand railing; almost fell to the ground when she reached the bottom and opened the door.

"Shannon!" Garnet yelled in excitement

"Garnet!" Shannon answered. Garnet jumped up and down in excitement. Shannon just as excited ran toward her smiling. Both of them screamed and cheered.

As their screams echoed off the castle walls and getting higher, Zidane was going deaf.

"Would ya shut it already?" He yelled in an angry voice. They stopped and stared at him.

"Ahem Zidane, I thought you were passed out at the bar. Hee hee." Shannon said as a joke.

"Ah…. Quit your giggling." Shaking his head, Zidane put on a sour look. "Come on Garnet. Do you want to look at the stars and see the 'sunset' rise? Not to mention your present."

"Ooh. Yes, yes, yes!" Garnet screamed loudly. She jumped up and down clapping. "Isn't he nice? Not only does he let his sister-in-law live with him, he got me a present and we went on a perfect date."

"Letting me live with him?" Shannon questioned.

"_Cough_ well…um…." Zidane said in a soft voice trying to give a hint to Shannon. At that moment there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it it's probably one of those lunatics who go door to door selling garbage." Shannon said as she huffed and went to go get the door. She opened the door cheerfully. "Hello."

"Ah, good evening madam. I was wondering if you would-Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah." The salesman said in a very cheerful voice, Shannon really didn't pay any attention, but then interrupted and said.

"Oh, sure, come in for a moment will ya. We can talk about the expense." Shannon opened the door on the right. "This way be careful, don't get-."

"AHHHHHhhhhhh………!!!" The man screamed as he was pushed into Shannon's tiger pit. Roaring loudly, the tigers ripped him apart and ate him.

"Whoops. Hmm. That's the third one today." Glancing down, Shannon made a distasteful look. "Yuck….splattered guts, it's not a pretty sight. Looks like Kuja is goanna have to clean it again."

"You feed them to your tigers…? That's cute." Murmured Zidane.

"Either that or you. Then again, they are your tigers since you're letting me live here." Zidane said as Shannon arched her eyebrow.

"Heh, heh. About that…." Shannon giggled as Zidane was making a fool out of himself. "Come on Garnet lets go see the sunset rise." Zidane said as he dashed out off the castle.

The next morning Garnet and Zidane met up with Yuna for the Blitz ball game. It was a great beautiful morning for Garnet to tell all the details of her date to Yuna while Zidane slacked behind. He was about to fall asleep, until Rikku came and joined them.

"Hiya, guys! Are you going to see the game? I am! I love Blitz ball. Is Tidus going to play? I hope he scores a lot, Guys wanna get some snacks?" Rikku yelled out speedily.

"Uh…sure." Yuna nodded. The three girls left, leaving Zidane by himself.

"Oh, come on guys. I'm a ditsy blond." Zidane murmured to himself making fun of Rikku. "He he he …. Don't worry about me. I'll just go watch Tidus lose." He yelled out to them.

When everyone got in their seats the Blitz ball game began. Tidus and all the other team members got into position when suddenly a big puff of pink smoke filled the stadium. Everyone screamed in terror.

After the smoke cleared a black figure appeared.

"MA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA…HA...HA!" _Cricket. Cricket_. The Black figure walked out of the sphere. Music played when he walked the tune was scary and showed how dangerous, but this tune was Darth Vader's theme the Da-da-da tune then the black figure yelled out to the minstrels who were nowhere to be seen.

"Stop, stop. I just don't feel that his is the right tune, try something scarier." Then out of nowhere, the happy circus music, Do-do-do-do-do. Then he yelled out again in frustration. "Stop! Easier and not so happy." The music started again, but this time the scary Dunt-dunt-daaaa. Then the hoodlum walked up to Zidane and everybody in his posy. "I'm looking for the 'magical magical'." Zidane looked at him in confusion.

"May I ask who you are first?" The figure quickly answered back in a mysterious voice.

"I am the one with no name…formal known as Steve." Dunt-dunt-daaaa. Everyone looked around in confusion trying to find out where the music came from.

"Well Steve," Dunt-dunt-daaaa "there is no 'magical magical' here, but I have another question for you."

"Go ahead ask away young geonome."

"Well, there was this guy he told us about the 'magical magical' and he said that the world would come to a end if the bad guy got the 'magical magical' he would take over the world with it and no offence, but you look like a bad guy with that tune that plays out of nowhere when someone's says your name, so are you going to take over the world let everyone be your slaves and do your dirty work if you find the 'magical magical'? Huuuuu." He took a breath.

"Uhhhh… well..Um. Yes…I…I mean I think so. Wait you know were the 'magical magical' is."

"Well, I really didn't say that."

"You must tell me where it is!" Steve yelled as he grabbed Zidane's shirt and lifting him off the ground.

"O.k. o.k., hold your Shoopufs so you are going to use it for evil and to take over the world." Zidane exclaimed as he thought to himself how smart he was.

"For the last time, yes!" Steve yelled even more impatient.

"In that case it's that way about 200 miles to sea." Pointing to any where he wanted to. Steve dropped him and made a loud screeching noise then suddenly a giant flutter came and carried him off.

"I can't believe you told him were the 'magical magical' was. Now were all going to die!" Yelled Garnet as she ran around in a panic.

"Don't worry. I don't even know where the 'magical magical' is."

"But, what if you were right for once? What if that was the right place? I knew it, we are going to die!"

"I wish that old guy was here. I bet he knows were the 'magical magical' is." Just then at that exact moment a chocobo flew over and landed right next to Tidus who had just popped out of nowhere. The old man hopped off the chocobo.

"I had this weirdest feeling that you guys needed my help about the 'magical magical'."

"WOW! That's right." Yuna said in amassment until Zidane interrupted.

"Yeah.. Well.. There was this guy… uh.. What was his name.. Uhh.. Steve." Dunt-dunt-daaaa

"Who keeps doing that?" Rikku demanded.

"Well anyway Steve," Dunt-dunt-daaaa "Stop it! O.k. the guy.. Dude.. Man.. Thing asked where the 'magical magical' was and he said that he would destroy the world with it."

"So what do you need me for? No one, except me, knows were the 'magical magical' is."

"Yeah…,but Zidane here guessed and he might be right for once and… that one guy does take over the world! Then we will all die!" Rikku screamed in terror with Garnet.

"Well let's see exactly where did you tell him to go Zidane?"

"I told him to go 200 miles that way." As Zidane pointed to where he pointed before.

"Well there's nothing out there, but Magical Fairy Island, but don't worry about the 'magical magical' isn't that way, it's the totally other way at the very top of Isslind, guarded by the most fowl creature of all time. No one can get it if they wanted to." In amusement Rikku wanted to help Steve so she ran calling his name.

"Steve!' Dunt-dunt-daaaa "STEVE!" Dunt-dunt-daaaa "Ste-" And before she could say his name again, Zidane grabbed her and covered her mouth.

"First thing Rikku, don't talk anymore. Second thing, were does the heck is that music coming from and…" Just then Zidane saw that the old man had to say something.

"You guys must go to Isslind and make sure that the hoodlum doesn't get the 'magical magical'." Then Tidus looked at him in a confused look.

"Yo dude calm down, Steve-" Dunt-dunt-daaaa "still doesn't know where the 'magical magical' is so, why do you need us."

"You, blondie shut up. Geez.. Well you guys must find it and bring it back to me. Well I have to go now, I need to go pick up my laundry at the 24-hour dry-cleaner before someone takes my bunny footy pajamas.. Sigh what is this world coming to? There's too much evilness in the world." The old man shook his head, climbed on to the chocobo and flew off to the dry-cleaners.

"Kweh!" They all look up to see the old man fly off.

"Now what?" Tidus asked in confusion.

"Ohhh.. Ohhh! I know! I know! Lets go fight evil and get the 'magical magical' so, the evil guy doesn't take over the world he he." Rikku said in her high annoying voice.

"Well, we better get going, let's go down to the chocobo farm to get some chocobos. Then we can get as far as Durlo, we'll rest there for the night." Tidus said as the group walked to the chocobo farm.

"Ohhh yeah! Guys, I forgot to tell you. This is a black mage. His name is Vivi. Is it alright if he comes with us?" Yuna said with a smile on her face as the little mage looked up at her with his cute glowing eyes.

"I would love to go with you guys, but I have to look after the card shop. Thank you anyways." Just then the chocobo keeper came and gave them their chocobos,

"Bye Vivi! Hope to see you again!" Yuna yelled out with a tear in her eye.

"O.k. gang. Let's get going. We can rest at Durlo were the hobbits live!"

"E...e..Exactly what are hobbitsss anyway?" Rikku asked as she shacked and shivered of fear.

"There little creatures with pointy ears that eat a lot."

"I knew it, I don't want to go."

"Why? Are you scared? Ha. I'm not scared of anything." Zidane boasted as he rubbed his nails on his shirt.

"Ohh and that's why I love you fruity cakes." Garnet said as she grabbed on to Zidane.

"How many times do I have to tell you hands off the merchandise!"

"Ohh. I love it when you talk like that, butter dumpling." As she gave him a pinch on the check, on their chocobos and rode of to Durlo.


	3. Meeting new creatures

Off they were, finally off on there adventure. They're riding on there chocobos, Zidane and Tidus are getting cramps in there legs, well by riding well like guys, but unlike girls when they ride with both legs on one side. After about a half an hour of riding in The Forest of Allergies Achooooo. They stopped to have lunch. Zidane was making some chili and Garnet was huddling over him.

"Ohhh….Ohhh. What ya making. Look at this beautiful pretty flower crown I made, it reminds me of you. You see it right, its right here, yeah right here, no, not down there, up here. You see it right, yes, no, Achooooo!"

"Garnet, go away, making chili is an art. I can't be bothered. Go away!" Garnet ran off crying and started talking to a flower.

"Ohh pretty flower you're my only friend now.._tear_.._sniff_..Achooooo! Dumb flower you're not my friend anymore, you gave me allergies." With that Garnet popped the head off the flower, all that was left in her hands was the steam."…I…killed my only friend." Garnet ran back to the camp crying and being all moppy. The chili was all done. To wash it down everyone had some coffee. Zidane of course thought it was too weak so he pulled out a bottle of Whisky and snuck it in his cup. After lunch they were off on there journey again. They arrived at a large gae leading into a new city. As they walked inside the gate a pillow hit Zidane right in the face and he fell off of his chocobo.

"Oh, sweetie-pumpkin-pie, did you hurt your beautiful handsome face?" Garnet got off her chocobo and went to rush over to Zidane and helped him off the ground.

"Sorry about that." Said a young hobbit that threw the pillow in the first place.

"Aa, don't worry about it. I'm fine."

"WOW! A talking monkey!" The little hobbit yelled out in amassment as he got his camera out.

"Monkey. Who are you calling a monkey? I'll squash you like the little worm you are! Now scram!" The little hobbit ran away screaming.

"Whatssss.. G-g-going on he-he-here?" Asked Rikku still scared out of her wits.

They all looked around. Pillows, arrows and scared little hobbits were all over. There was a war going on between the hobbits and the hyrulians. "Run for your lives!" One hobbit screamed out in terror.

"What kind of war is this, this doesn't seem fair, I mean look, they're fighting with pillows and they are fighting with knifes and arrows. Who do you think is going to win?" Yuna said as a hyrulian man came right in front of them. He wore a green, goony hat and had a giant sword with a shield on his back. He yelled out.

"Die you evil creatures!" Screaming, the hobbits ran for their lives hitting people along the way with pillows. The mysteries man raised his sword above a little hobbit about to slash the hobbit in half.

"Oh. Pour little thing. Zidane, Tidus, go and help him. Go, go." Garnet yelled in terror as she saw them running everywhere, but just as they went, a beautiful, female hyrulian came up to the man grabbed his arm so his sword couldn't fall down to slay the hobbit.

"Just let them be, they have suffered enough." The mysteries lady said to the man.

"I would, but they won't die! They must die…Oh, what's the use? Let's go." The man groaned. Then he yelled out to all of the hyrulian among Durot. "We have done our jobs they have won with pillows and there cuteness. Let's move out!" All of the hyrulians went back to there place were they came, but most of them were lying on the ground, not moving. Before they could leave Tidus stopped the man and woman.

"Why were you attacking all of these little hobbits? What did they do to you?"

"Well unpointy eared one, these hobbits may seem very peaceful nice creatures, but for many years, these hobbits have done many bad things. I can't say and I never must because it is a secret between hyrulians and hobbits. Another reason is that they just won't die!" His hands tightened around his sword with anger.

"Pardon me, but my fiancé is a little tense right now. I'm Zelda and this is Link."

"I'm Zidane and this is Tidus, Yuna, Rikku, and Garnet. We are on a quest to stop the mighty hoodlum from getting the 'magical magical'. I was wondering if you and your fiancé would come and help us protect the 'magical magical' from destroying the world to its doom because you look very powerful and we could us your strength, I mean look at the size of those muscles." Zidane pointed to Links arms.

"Oh.. A quest, the mighty Link will never say no to a challenge."

"Well thank you for your cooperation. We will start in the morning. Tonight we rest." Zidane said as the fellowship went around Durot to find an inn to stay at for the night.

In the morning, everyone was downstairs eating a hobbitly breakfast. Rikku watched the other hobbits with a fearful look. Yuna was having a little talk with Zelda, discussing the war between the hobbits and hyrulians. Garnet sat by Zidane with a grim look as she watched him and Tidus having an eating contest.

"That's mine you little jerk!" Said Zidane, as he kicked a hobbit across the room. "Let go of my chicken Tidus. You goanna eat that Garnet? Mmm breakfast beer is there anything better? Oh yeah lunch beer, dinner beer, afternoon beer, supper beer, dinner beer, snack beer, and my midnight beer."

"Boo boo, slow down. You're going to choke." Unfortunately Zidane did start choking.

"HAK…can't…_cough_..bra…." The hobbit Zidane kicked came over to help him. Finally Zidane coughed up the piece of food he was choking on and pushed the hobbit away. "Get off of me! I'm trying to eat!" Zidane continued eating his breakfast.

"Zidane! You're so mean!" Yuna went over by the little hobbit. "You o.k.? Sorry he's like that."

"It's alright. Hmm…Where's my ring? It's gone! Where did it go? Oh no!" He started to search his pockets and the floor.

Yuna saw something shiny, shimmering on the floor by some ones chair. It sparkled gold in the light, so rich, wealthy, and full of life. Yuna had to touch it.

"Is…this…it." Yuna picked it up and stared at it. Its beauty put her in a trance.

"That's mine!" The little hobbit snatched it out of her hand. "It's dearly to me." Oddly he started to pet it.

"Oh, I understand. I'm Yuna. Me and my friends are going east on a grand quest."

"A grand quest? To the elves? I'm thinking about going, but I need to buy supplies. Uh I'm Frodo."

"Oh we need supplies, and weapons too. Do you know where the store is?" Just then a fairy popped up.

"Follow me to the great weapon store!" It had a high, cute voice, and it glowed. "Come come, quickly!" Everyone followed the fairy to the great weapon store.

The store keeper welcomed them in with a big friendly smile.

"Hellooo! Customers! Oh I love customers. So, what can I do ya for?"

"Well…." Being frightened by the to cheerful of a man. They really didn't want to buy weapons from him. Well, except for Rikku.

"What do you have? Do you have blades, bombs, rods, or gloves? I would like to have blades, no-BOMBS!" Rikku ran to the bombs display and looked at the different kinds of explosives.

If Rikku didn't mind the storekeeper then everyone might as well buy from him too. Zidane looked at the daggers and other blades. "Hm. Do you have anything else?"

"Why yes. I have small knives, butterfly knives, long knives, short knifes, stager knifes, daggers, short swords-"

"Ya know just let me see the short sword and the long knife." He put a long knife and a short sword on the counter. They looked exactly the same shape, size, curves, and material. Trying to figure out which is which, Zidane asked.

"What's the difference? They seem to be the same."

"The long knife is a knife." He pointed to the right one. "And the short sword is a sword." He pointed over to the left one.

"Well that was a specific answer. I'll take a dagger." Zidane looked at the rack of daggers, comparing each one to another.


	4. Taking a break

Once everyone got their weapons, their journey continued. Now also joining their group was Frodo, who's going to tag along until they reach the elves.

"You don't mind if my friend Sam comes along?" Frodo asked Yuna. "I'm suppose to take him with me for help." Sam was a slightly wider hobbit who acted like Frodo's slave, or servant.

"Sure we could take your lapdog with us. He might be useful carrying extra supplies." Zidane said trying to put him to good use. He came up and patted Frodo on the back.

"Frodo! Frodo!" Two young hobbits came running up to them. "We came to tell ya good-bye and good luck." Merry said cheerfully.

"Oh and stay away from the Forest of Secrets. One secret can ruin your life you know." Pippin turned towards Zidane. "How's your cold? You should be better by now." Pippin smiled at Zidane and then the two little hobbits went to eat their numerous meals.

"Let's continue shall we." Tidus lead the way to their grand, glorious, adventurous, life changing, dangerous, threatening journey of saving the world.

It would have been a wonderful and perfect exit if Frodo hadn't fell two times on their way out, Zidane helped him up on the second fall.

"You're a bit clumsy aren't you?" Other than that it would have been a beautiful sight. People risking their lives, beliefs and…and whatever they have left.

The 'magical magical' was still many days away. The group was going little by little because it was all Frodo's fault. Zidane couldn't take it any more.

"That dumb little hobbit, we would be out of Durot by now, but nooo we had to take him. Oh he so cute let him come with us. Look at him it seems that he has two left feet!" The group looked back at Frodo as he took two steps and fell flat on his face. Tidus laughed to himself. Yuna thought it wasn't funny and went to help the hobbit and gave Tidus an evil look. "I can't take it anymore! I'm leaving that hobbit behind!" The hobbit got up off the ground and looked as if he was going to cry. Garnet felt sorry and said to Zidane.

"Look at what you've done, you made him cry." She ran over to the hobbit to comfort him with Yuna

"He probably just has mud in his eye he's a tough guy aren't you Frodo." Zidane punched Frodo in the arm with no effort what so ever. The hobbit then fell over again into the mud. This time Tidus busted out laughing. Rikku slapped him across the head.

"Ow! What did you do that for?" As he rubbed his head. "It's funny see he's miserable he's dirty he's ow!" Rikku hit him again in the head. "What did you do that for, I didn't do anything?"

"Oh it's just so fun it will be my amusement." Rikku answered as she kept hitting him. Tidus tried running away but Rikku chased after him.

After all of this they started off again around noon, they got to the Cliffs of Insanity which is a very high cliff that if you fell off you would plunge 500 feet into the water that's below it. They had to walk across the Bridge of Insanity above the Cliffs of Insanity to the other side on the road to Northin.

"Look guys it's the Cliffs of Insanity…hm I wonder why they call it that?' Said Rikku. Just then a long line of monks came and off one by one they walked off the very large plank that goes out in the middle of the gap between the two cliffs. The group looked puzzled until Tidus spoke up.

"What the heck are they doing?"

"I don't know, but let's find out." Said Zidane still kind of puzzled. "Um excuse me for the interruption, but um why are you taking a rather large leap into eel infested waters?" One of the monks stepped out of line to answer Zidane's rather stupid question.

"We are the ones who sacrifice ourselves to the great Steve," Dunt-dunt-daaa "but some of us have girl problems so we all come here to put our selves out of our misery."

"Sooooo you kill yourselves when you have girl problems… why didn't I think of that I have a mentally challenged girl if you know what I mean?" Zidane nudged the monk. The monk gave him weird look then got the joke and winked back at him.

"I don't mean to be rude, but I need to go jump off the Cliffs of Insanity. I'm already 30 seconds behind schedule. Hope to see you in the next life time." Then the group looked over the cliffs to see the monks go off. The group stood there for a little bite. After they got on the bridge Frodo fell again straight forward not falling off the bridge, good thing he didn't fall off. They walked out about half way and Frodo tripped and he fell off the bridge and fell to his dooooooom. Yuna and Garnet tried to jump out and save him, but Rikku didn't, she was really happy that he fell and didn't want him to come on there trip. They all stood in silence Yuna and Garnet crying. Inside Rikku was jumping for joy, but she didn't jump because Sam was right next to her and she still really didn't trust hobbits. Zidane spoke up.

"I knew he was going to die by falling sooner or later." Everyone looked at him. "What? He was slowing us down." Everyone still stared at him in sadness. "Tidus, do you agree with me?"

"Hmm…yeah. Yeah we can't just sit here he's not coming back. Let's just get going huh." Everyone started walking, but Sam still sat there thinking Frodo would come back. Yuna went up to talk to him.

"You can't change the past what happened can't be changed. You can still come with us if you want." The hobbit looked up tears running down his face.

"I.._sniff_..Knew him for my my my whole…_sniff_ life and now..Now..Now he's dead. If you don't mind I would like to go back to Durot I need to be alone, but thank you anyway. I hope you find the 'magical magical' soon bye." Then Sam walked on the road back to Durot.

The journey continues with Zidane and his friends. Usually he doesn't have any, but this is a special chapter. They were on their way to Northin.

"So, Zidane you have a castle too. Ya own a kingdom?" Link said in a mature voice.

"Umm…" Zidane turned to Tidus and whispered. "What's a kingdom?"

"I think it's when you're a king of something, like a…dome."

"I see…Well, yeah. I guess you can call it that. I'm not much of a king though." Zidane hoped he didn't sound stupid, since he didn't and still doesn't know what a kingdom was.

Link let out a laugh. "Ha ha! That's a good one. When I'm king, I'm going to leave most of the ruling problems to Zelda."

"Women ruling? Ha ha, women can't do anything except…women things, like brushing hair, doing nails and you know girly stuff."

"What do you mean, women can't do anything?" Garnet overheard their conversation and walked up with her hands on her hips. "Any women can rule, if the proper training. Men on the other hand either fall on their face or are lead by a woman. Either way women can do anything."

"Well said." Yuna and Rikku gave Zidane a mean glare.

"What? I was just making a conversation."

Well that went on until they reached Northin. It is a peaceful place. Little villages around a nice castle, there were rolling hills, blue skies and four or five ranches. However, it didn't look like that when the group reached the Northin boundary.

Instead people were screaming the sky was fire red with dark clouds, the field and houses were burning, and a loud, violent, evil, piercing screech came from a fire dragon, flying in the sky.

"Oh No! Link use your hammer that's the only way to beat him!" Zelda yelled out seeing her people being tortured.

"What you know this evil fire dragon?" Tidus looked around as the fire dragon flew over them.

"Yeah. He is Volvagia he is one who works for the Hoodlum. I must do this one my own." Link ran up with a giant hammer in his hands.

Zidane stood there for a while studying the castle for a moment.

"My castles bigger." Zelda gave him an evil looked knowing that her castle was way better.

"Zidane this is not the time, go help Link." Yuna yelled as hyrulians were running in all directions.

"Ohh do I have to, can't we just wait till everything is dead. He should go by then." Zidane was about to run into the battle, but Link had finished him off. The town turned back into a very peaceful place.

"If you don't mind Zelda and me will stay here and help fix the place up. And protect it if anything else comes. Good luck on your journey. There is a nice weapon shop in the market ill give you a discount."

"Do you think we could stay for the night? Where kind of tired from walking for sooo looong." Tidus asked as he wiped the sweat off his forehead.

"Sure. We can throw a hearty feast. I'm starving." Link clapped his hands together, gathering servants to make the food and entertainment. "Come on you lazy slackers! Get off the floor! Go get me a king's meal!"


	5. Something gone wrong

The feast was.. well.. feasty. Everyone was enjoying themselves. They ate, drank, danced, drank, sang, drank and watched some entertainment. Although the funniest thing they did was DRINK!

Zidane was dancing on the tables with Merry and Pippin, singing a song that some of it goes like this Snoozy snoozy, extra boozey, drink too much and you're a losey, you stagger round and get a brusey, and then pass out feeling woosey. Tidus danced with Rikku, Garnet was talking to Zelda and some of the ladies, and Link ate and talked with the lords.

In the morning they set off to continue their journey. Yuna was acting a bit strange and kept playing with a gold gem or something around her neck on a chain. Rikku and Zidane were in crabby moods considering their hang-overs and lack of sleep,

"I'll miss you Zelda, I'll e-mail you every day." Garnet said as a tear ran down her check. They all said there good-byes. Merry and Pippin still didn't know that Frodo was dead. Yuna was standing in the distance fiddling with a gold thing. Tidus knew that Yuna was acting very strange.

Everyone said there goodbyes and the group were on there way again.

"Do you want to take the land and go to Yorlene or go on to Camilon?" Tidus looked at the group wanting to go to Camilon that is the biggest city ever. Everyone looked around not knowing were to go.

"Ooh I always wanted to ride a Shoopuf lets go… come on…LETS GO!" Rikku yelled as she pulled the group along. "Um where are we going again?"

On there way to Korien where you get Shoopufs. Tidus wanted to talk to Yuna who was still fiddling with a thing that shines.

"Hey, you have been very quiet since we left Durot. Is there something wrong?" Yuna gave him a very scared look, as if she just woke up from a bad dream. Just as her mouth began to open to talk, a Protochimera appeared right in front of Tidus and Yuna. Zidane, Rikku and Garnet were around the corner so they didn't see it. They looked up in amassment of how huge the creature was. Yuna was very frightened still fiddling with the mystery item in her hands, closing her eyes as if she was about to fall asleep, she held her finger out and the item going closer just then she disappeared. Tidus ran under the Protochimeras legs to hurry up to the group.

"Help...Yuna… Protochimera..big very big!" There eyes widened. Rikku terrified as always said.

"Can't we just leave? I mean we could always fight another one some other time."

"Come on time this is a once in a life time chance. Lets go and slotter that thing."

"Yeah that too, and don't forget about Yuna." Tidus added to Zidanes comment.

They all rushed back to the Protochimera, Yuna was no where to be found. Zidane used his daggers and took the quick, slick snake tail that drains life from you, Rikku used her flimflams on the eagle that really didn't do anything but use a high screech to put its enemies in to a deep sleep so it could peak at you, Garnet used her rod and took the dragon head that blew fire, ice, thunder and water, and Tidus used his long sword and took the Bull that charges at you and breaths out fire. Rikku started yelling out things in Al Bed.

"_Vilg oui! urr cred!!_ (_fk you! ohh st)_" The Protochimera didn't seem to be getting any weaker so they started to use black magic fira, thundera, watera and blizzarda. To cure them from all the damage they used white magic cura and cure. After 2 minutes they ran out of magic points so they couldn't cure themselves or use magic on the Protochimera any more. Everyone was weak and felt as if they were going to die as they lied on the ground trying as hard as they could to lift up a finger, Zidane felt depressed that he was going to die from a over sized bull, eagle, dragon and snake. The Protochimera razed its heads and breathed in, about to make a fire ball to finish them off. Then a mysterious voice came from no where.

"_Fro tuh'd oui belg uh cusauha ouin ufh cew?. mega sa_. (Why don't you pick on someone your own size? Like me)" The Protochimera paused to see where it came from, then out appeared a figure looking like Yuna only a dark form floating in front of the Protochimera.

"Yuna? What happened to her?" Tidus said with his last bit of strength.

"I don't know, but I think it is called a trance. It is supposed to give you powerful Aeons." Zidane answered.

They all watched the Protochimera and Yuna going at it. The Protochimera used fire, water, thunder and ice all in one with all of the heads. Blowing it at Yuna, it reflected off of her and hit itself. The Protochimera tried everything, but it didn't do anything to Yuna. Just then Yuna raised up her Moon Sigil twirled it in her hands; black clouds went in the sky turning it dark. Her Sigil glowed, and a light beam went in the sky. Bahamut came down with a boom on the ground, roaring. Yuna made a sign with her hand and Bahamut jumped up in the air came down falling with fire spreading around him and just as he was about to hit he stopped and put his feet on the ground and did the bunny hop. The Protochimera got so terrified that it ran off screaming like a girl. Bahamut returned to where he came since his job was done.

Yuna went out of the trance and fell to the ground. Tidus gained his straight and ran over to Yuna with a limp. Tidus shook her trying to wake her up.

"She won't wake up what's wrong with her?"

"I think all of that power took a lot out of her. We should just carry her and wait till she wakes up." Zidane said, with that Tidus carried Yuna off with the group to Korien.

Tidus was still worried about Yuna and was wondering when she was going to wake up.

"Yuna? Please don't die, please."

"Tidus lighten up. She's not going to be out the whole time. Just let her rest. In the mean time let's go to the number one place that helps all guys before we go to Camilon." Zidane said as he tried to comfort Tidus. Tidus put Yuna on the inn bed as he and Zidane went to the special place. Rikku and Garnet went out to go look around before they go to Camilon.

Anyway to the number one place that helps all guys. And guess what it is, that's right the bar.

"This is the life huh, Tidus?"

"Well it's not the best place, but I would like to check on Yuna. It's been almost 20 minutes, and I don't think I can have one more shot."

"Don't tell me you're wasted on 25 shots. I knew it you're a wimp."

"Is that a challenge your asking for, monkey boy?"

"Get ready to lose, because nobody calls me monkey."

About a half an hour latter there were 128 shot glasses next to Zidane and 128 shot glasses next to Tidus.

"Im..going..going..to..beat you _hip _if it's..the..last thing I..I..do..monkey..boy."

"Not..in your_ hip_ life. I haven't…lost in 5..looonnnggg years."

As Tidus and Zidane took the last bit of fresh glasses, they lifted them up drinking them very fast. At the very last drop Tidus fell out of his chair, so Zidane won. Zidane jumped out of his chair and started dancing.

"Yeah….woo..ho I…won. I told you…no one can bet me…at Drink Till You…drop." Tidus got so annoyed by Zidanes bragging that he punched him in the face, and as drunk as he was he fell to the floor unconscious. Tidus walked back to the inn to rest over the worst headache he ever had.


	6. The Long Wait

Mean while Garnet and Rikku, they went shopping to get supplies at the shops that were here and there.

"Wow look at these beautiful hair clips, aren't they the cutest?"

"Yeah Rikku they are very cute."

"Hmm I wonder if I can get a better price. Excuse me miss how much are these?"

"Those they are only 3 gill. (they are the money that they use in middle earth) a piece"

"Hmm. I tell you what I will give you 1 gil for it."

"Rikku she told you that they were 3 gil not 1 gil."

"I know but I heard Zidane say that you have to be reasonable with theses people. So what do you say?"

"Well I'll tell you something since I like you I'll give you 2 for 6 gil."

"I'll take it! See Garnet I told you I'd get a better price."

"Yeah sure that was a great price." Garnet said sarcastically.

Back at the inn Tidus was lying down and Zidane who had just came in and was on the bed across the room. Rikku and Garnet came in. Yuna was still unconscious on the bad. In the morning they were going to Camilon.

The next morning they all went to the Shoopuf stop, a little frog man came up.

"Yosh ride thesh Shoopuf? That wosh be 5 gill per pershon."

"Aaa yeah here is 25 gil. Now how long will this take?" Zidane asked as he gave the gil to the frog man.

"Itsh will take aboush..7 daysh to cross."

"Well there is no way that we can get there any faster. So let's go."

"Everyone getsh on the Shoopuf itsh taking ofsh."

The ride wasn't so bad. I mean 7 days on the back of a giant animal, little space, crowded over a ocean of salt water, waves flowing up and down, up and down, up and down, up and down, and of course Rikku.

"Are we there yet?" Bobbing her head and bouncing up and down, Rikku asked Zidane who of course wasn't in a cheery mode.

"No."

"Are we there now?"

"No."

"Umm….now?"

"NO!"

"Ok do do do. Huu, I don't feel so well….NOW?"

"Arrg! No we are not there."

"Well, when are we goanna get there?"

"Look," Zidane grabbed Rikku by the shoulder and pointed into the sky. "You see that bright light? That's the sun when it goes across the sky seven times, and then ask me."

"Okay." She bounced up and down some more, glancing at the sun once in a while. It lasted for about less then 5.8 seconds. "Sigh I'm bored. Dum-da-da-dum-dum-da-da-da-dum-da-da-da-da-da-dum. Ok I'm bored" As she sang, she swayed her fluffy, silky, blond head and it kept hitting Zidane in the face.

"STOP THAT!" Zidane made a fist and-

"Zidane!" Garnet yelled as she hanged over the side. "Look! Look! Isn't the ocean beautiful? (Sigh) It reminds me of your pretty castle. I wanna castle by the ocean. I could look out on the balcony and-"

"See the sun set raise?" Tidus snickered. Although he put on a blank face when he noticed Yuna wasn't going to hit him. Wow he's depressed. That's pretty much how the trip went. Yuna was still unconscious, but that's because I just don't want to write about her at the moment, Tidus was a depresses wimp, Garnet was lost in her own little fantasy, Rikku was being her annoying, preppy self, and Zidane was getting irritated. Yep. Not a happy crew if you want my opinion. In fact the only happy one was Rikku. Although around the fifth or sixth day I'm still deciding Zidane chose not to put up with her any longer. Technically it was Rikkus fault for standing too close to the edge.

"La La La. Blue sky's smiling at me. I got blue skies, yesery." Rikku sang as she stood on the railing that was suppose to stop people from falling off the Shoopuf even know it always fails. "Look Zidane, no hands!" Zidane watched while Rikku stood on the railing, swinging her hands in the air.

"Wow. That's amazing. Don't slip." Zidane came closer and slightly nudged Rikku.

"Whoa, WAAHAAAAAA (Splush)." Sadly she slipped; Zidane just gave her a head start fall. Considering Zidane's a great roll-model for Shannon who gave her the idea of a way to feed her cute, fuzzy kittens, but really they are her cutie tigers.

"Told ya not to slip." Shaking his head Zidane finally had his peace and quiet. Then finally, the sun crossed the sky seven times. Wow time does pass quickly. Soon everyone shall be in Camilon.

"Ya we're almost there!" Rikku jumped up and down clapping. Somehow she got back on the Shoopuf. "And when I get there I'm goanna run and jump all around."

"Kind of like what you're doing now?"

"Ummm." Rikku stopped to think about Tidus question. After a few minutes she shrugged and started jumping again.

"Zidane, wouldn't it be if we had an airship? Then we can go on a romantic adventure across the seas. The wind blowing, salt in the air, and a million of dangers that try to destroy the world, and we must stop them because we can." Zidane turned to Garnet who was staring out at the water.

"Y-Yeah. Sure. Garnet, you feeling okay?"

"I'm fine. Just that the spare time gets me thinking."

"Sure does. Either that or you're licking frogs." Zidane said to himself.

"LANDHOOOOOOOO!" Rikku yelled as she pointed to a mass of land. "That's our destination to…..Why are we going there?"

"Because that's on the way to find the 'magical magical'. The magical magical that does magic magical things magically." Zidane explained, however it seemed Rikku didn't care.

"Ohh. In-ter-est-ing." She turned to stare at the land. "Were almost there. Getting closer, and close. We are getting closer and…..Geez this is taking to long. Hey Zidane are we there yet?"

"You tell me." Lets hope this will shut her up.

"Ummm…Never mind I don't like to think. I think we are there. Just a few more minutes, yep. Hmmm,mmm,mmm. Da-da-da-da-dada-da-da-da-da-dada-da." Eventually they made it to the big of Camilon and everyone was a bit more happy. Rikku ran around in circles. "We're here! We're here!....Now what?"


	7. The Hunter Becomes the Hunted

"Why don't you girls take Yuna to that inn while I lighten Tidus up."

"That's a great idea! Wait. Why do I have to go to that inn? I wanna look around. Bye?" Rikku ran down the street, not waiting for an answer or explanation as usual.

"Garnet, you take Yuna to the inn and watch her. Just in case she wakes up."

"I…_yawn_ I will."

Zidane nodded as it was agreed. Then he walked to the pathetic moron sitting by the sparkling water fountain. "Hey Tidus."

"…."

"I said, HEY TIDUS."

"….(biggerdots)"

"Tidus?"

"….(huge dots)"

"Tidus!"

"Dot-dot-dot-dot! Don't you understand that I don't feel like talking _sigh_."

"It's o.k., I mean, if Yuna dies I could always hook you up," Tidus gave Zidane a questioning look. "I've been around." Zidane gave a shrug and sat down by Tidus. "In fact, if I could remember right, I know about 40 girls here. Hmm….Now that I think about it I forgot to write to Jenva, owe Taris a dinner, Eiya might still want to go on that cruse, promised Lalis a trip around the world, Breec's Birthday, send Gyla flowers and chocolate, and take Nora back to her Village across the Nine seas."

"Does Garnet know about them?"

"Of course not! You don't tell your girlfriend about your other girlfriends. Besides, what would make her suspect me having other girls."

"I don't know. Maybe because she's lost in her own dream land with rising sunsets, she doesn't know anything going on."

"Exactly. Now lets go get you a girl."

Zidane and Tidus were on their search, Rikku was wondering like an idiot, and Garnet was watching over Yuna. All was going well.

"Let me see….which girl would be your kind of type. There's Sephie, Rieno, Renta, Tifas pretty, Yulffy, never did like Aeris, and…. Ya know you can stop me when you hear a cute name. All the girls are hot mostly." Zidane looked at Tidus seeing if he's paying attention.

"That girl looks like she knows you."

"Huh?" Zidane looked forward at a tall, slim girl with gold hair, dark eyes and skin, wearing a sourly violet dress. "Minda!" _SLAP!_ She stalked away, satisfied and still a bit angry for whatever Zidane had done. He rubbed his cheek. "…W-what did I do?"

"Don't believe she was happy to see you."

"Really, well you're observant." Zidane said sarcastically as he rubbed his cheek more.

"Does she know you too?"

"Who?"

"Her." Tidus pointed to an Al bed with long layered, blackhair with red tips, wearing a black and white tank top and some brown shorts with some big thigh high boots.

"Oh No! Not her." Zidane hid behind Tidus as the Al bed walked towered them.

"Zidane? I know it's you." She had a strong demanding voice in a sweet way.

"Kasey, my heart." Zidane put on one of his tender smiles."

"Dontcha use that language, you _mucan _(loser). You said that we would go on a romantic airship get-a-way. Your lucky I don't take that _tykkan _and _lid uid ouin vnelgah raynd. Pmylg cuimat, suhgao puo. E ruby oui pinh eh rymm_ (_dagger and cut out your fricken heart. Black souled, monkey boy. I hope you burn in hell)._"

"What did she say?" Tidus whispered to Zidane.

"No clue. You should know, Yuna is part Al bed, from how much you hang around her surprisingly you didn't pick up a word or too."

"Well, I know _oui_ means you."

"You're hopeless. But I think it was something sweet. He he your angry aren't you, which is perfectly understandable." She gave him a mean glare. "Umm….this is my friend Tidus. Lets say we go to a tavern and have a couple…well a lot of drinks?"

"Fine."

They are now at the bar, Kasey's bar, the bar that she owns, a bar that's hers, she runs the place and gives drinks to people, so the people order drinks and she gives them to them.

"So, then this big monster slowly perished." Zidane bragged of all the giant things on his journey.

"Well, that's….interesting. So, Tidus how about you. What cool monsters did you fight, _rud cdivv _(hot stuff)."

"Uhhh…what did she say?"

"I'm not the human dictionary remember, but I think she likes you." Zidane looked at Tidus and put on a cheesy grin.

"Ahem. I fought some kind of Chimera?"

"Wow! That's sooo fascinating." Kasey said as she scouted closer to Tidus. She flicked her green, swirly eyes at him and smiled sweetly.

"Heh heh. Yeah, it was really huge and no mattered what I did it wouldn't die."

"Really! Continue, oh and Zidane go get me and Tidus another drink."

"Uhh.."

"Zidane." Kasey glared at him with daggers.

"Okay." Zidane quickly obeyed, leaving Tidus along with Kasey.

"Then I was getting tired and was almost defeated, but then I used.. this, a…powerful magic and summoned Bahamut. He used this..uhh…flare attack and flamed the Chimera to dust." Tidus smiled. He never really had seen a girl who was so into him, well besides Yuna, before. She sat there in her chair close enough to be touching him. She started at him, elbow on the table and chin in her left hand. Not seeming to pay much attention to what he was saying.

"Do you want to walk out of here and talk some more." With that Kasey and Tidus left Zidane at the bar with 2 glasses in his hands and 1 for himself in his tail.

"Hey I got…were did you guys go?" Zidane looked around wondering were Kasey and Tidus gone. "Hmm oh well, more for me." With that Zidane started drinking the cups one by one.


	8. A Broken Heart

Yuna woke up on a bed in the inn room. Garnet was sleeping on the extra bed snoring.

"Garnet I'm going out." She said cheerfully.

"_Snore_, I wanna ride the Chocobo…." Yuna let Garnet sleep and she walked outside. Wondering where Tidus is, she ran down a road, regardless of which way.

After a while she found him talking with a tall, red and black head, Al bed girl. Yuna was just about to walk towards them until Rikku came along.

"Yunie! You're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Fine. I'm going to go surprise Tidus."

"Hmm….Isn't that Tidus with that girl? I think he's cheating on you."

"How do you know. She could be just a friend."

"Friend? Are you serious? Look at them. He's smiling and laughing. She's a bit close staring at his dreamy eyes. Have I ever been wrong and why would he want an unconscious at the moment fiancé, when he can go out with a girl like that?"

"You really think he likes her better?"

"Defiantly. Come on, she's Al bed."

"Ohhh…"

"Yep.._gasp_ A butterfly! I'll go catch it. Uhh…bye Yunie." Rikku ran off after the pink butterfly, leaving Yuna thinking.

"Does he really like her? What do I do?"

Yuna ran back to the inn, tears running down her cheeks. She ran in the room and slammed the door behind her, waking up Garnet, from her endless sleep.

"Yuna, what's wrong?" Yuna was crying hard and her words were slerd. "Oh. He is. What? Oh Yuna I feel so bad for you, he cheating on you." Garnet got off the bed and went over to cheer Yuna up. "Good thing that Zidane doesn't do anything like cheating on me for another woman." Then suddenly Rikku came in from nowhere again.

"Hey Yuna, if you need to cheer up I know the perfect cure for depression."

"What…_sniff_….is that?"

"Iiiiiiitttt's….wait; I thought I had it there for a second."

"Oww."

"No wait I have it. It is shopping; all you need is a map a time for a good workout and a whole lot of money. So let's go." Leaving Garnet behind, Yuna and Rikku went to the biggest mall in the whole world. Garnet got bored and went out to find Zidane.


	9. Guy in the Middle

Zidane was at the bar with 7 women around him. Then once he started to drink his 50th beer, Garnet came in. "Oh yeah so then all the people were helpless, well because there not me he he. So there I was against the chimera lifting my dagger and um…"

"What's the matter Zidane?" Said Riena

"Oh..um..it's..aww..just I have to think because if I told you the end now it would be over to soon. Seeing how strong and powerful I am." Zidane showed off his muscles. All the girls sighed in a little girly voices. Just then Garnet Walked in as Zidane was about to take a drink.

"A…a…Zidane?" Garnet put her hands on her hips and put on a sour look. "Don't you know that drinking is a very bad habit. You could get addicted and become an alcoholic. If you're going to be an alcoholic I don't know if I can be your girlfriend anymore."

"Zidane what does she mean girlfriend?" Said Lula.

"Fine go if you want I got all the girls here that I need."

"Ohh I don't care, I still love. We will get you help later. So what are these girls' names?" Garnet sat down by looking at all the girls not noticing they were there with Zidane.

"I'm Lula."

"I'm Reina."

"I'm Riena's cousin Frina."

"I'm the other cousin Yulffy."

"I'm Aurino."

"I'm Tifa."

"And I'm Eima."

"Zidane I wan'a leave lets go see Tidus and the others."

"But I wanna stay.." Garnet gave him an evil look. "O.k. bye girls." Zidane blew each of them a kiss, and all the girls said at once.

"Bye Zidane."


	10. Alone together

Mean while Tidus and Kasey were still talking.

"So were are you going now Tidus."

"Well I don't really know it's up to Zid….I mean the group won't go until I give them an order."

"Ohh who's all in the group?"

"Well there's Yuna, Rikku, Garnet and you know Zidane."

"Oww. What?" Kasey said as she wasn't paying attention to what Tidus was saying. Instead she was looking up at his eyes and clinging on his arm. "Wait!" As she let go of his arm and gave him an evil look. "Now who's Yuna, and Rikku? I know Garnet the dumb black one who so calls herself Zidanes girl, but who is Yuna and Rikku?"

"Rikku is a preppy dumb blond, who fallows us"

"What about Yuna?"

"Well." Knowing that he was engaged, but he quickly made up a lie. "She…is…just some lost circus performer who fallows us until we get her back home."

"O…k…."

Anyway on Yuna's and Rikkus shopping spree.

"Rikku are you sure this will help?"

"Oh sure….well no, but I needed a new pair of shoes so come on."

"I wan'a buy something too. I wan'a go."

"O.k., o.k.….uhh do you have any money?"

"Um…" Yuna checked her pockets. "No, I don't know."

"Well ether you do or you don't."

"I don't."

"Hmm nether do I…hmm I know Garnet always does, lets go find her."

"Zidane! Stop talking to that girl over there, we aren't that lost."

"Yes mame."

"Hmmm…..were is he."

"He who?"

"Tidus, you dimwitted vessel. Now pay attention. Look there he is. Tidus!"

"Tidus." Zidane said in a girly voice making fun of Garnet.

"Oh, hi Garnet." Completely not caring that they were there.

Garnet yelled out in amazement. "Yuna? Did you dye your hair? No wait you got contacts."

"Garnet its me…" Completely blond Garnet stood there. "…Kasey…"

"Ohh! Kasey!" She and Kasey gave each other a big hug walked off and talked.

"So, do you like her?" Tidus looked at Kasey

"…"

"TIDUS!"

"Hu what?"

"You do like her. Yeah she's a babe, but there's that whole language thing. Good thing that you can learn from Yuna."

"What are you talking about. I'm engaged to Yuna Y-U-N-N umm-A."

"Yeah, but she doesn't know that yet, does she?"

"Well….no."

"I knew it! Kasey and Tidus sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I…" Tidus punched Zidane in the face to make him shut up. Zidane fell down onto the ground.

"You're the one who wanted me to get a so called new girl. Just because Kasey likes me better than you."

"Wait, you, ohh no she likes me. Everybody likes me." Zidane pulled up his sleeves. Tidus swung his arm, but before it could hit Zidane, Zidane jumped up and hung from his tail on a tree limb.

"Get down here and fight like the brainless vessel that you are."

"No, I like the view from up here much better. Hey I can see my house from here hmmm…" Tidus started shaking the tree.

"You!"

"Who me?" Questioned Zidane.

"Yeah you. You gave me wrong directions."

"Steve!?" Dunt-dunt-daaaa

"Yeah. Who did you think it was the muffin man."

"Well you kind of do resemblance him."

"That's it, your going to get it." Just then a woman who works at Mc Donald's yelled out.

"Number 201,651,758,267,902, one happy meal."

"Hmm I guess they really do serve over 90 billion." Tidus exclaimed.

"Oh that's me uhh….Flutter fly come finish them for me." Just then a Flutter fly flew down.

"Oh great." Zidane rolled his eyes and jumped down and smacked the Flutter fly making it explode. POOF! Feathers flying all over the place. Steve came over playing with a toy that he got in his happy meal.

"Wow! Look at this cool toy vroom vroom vrooo…um. Hey my Flutter fly you pooft it. Now you will-" Just then Rikku and Yuna came along. Rikku with a empty wallet and skipping, while Yuna who wasn't able to see, carrying a bunch of box's and bags, and not one was hers.

"Hey it's you. I meant to tell you that the 'magical magical' wasn't at Magical Fairy Island, it's at the top of Isslind."

"Rikku nooooo!" Zidane ran over to Rikku, but tripped on the ground.

"Why thank you young lady." Steve made a screeching noise nothing happened. "Where is my Flutter fly?"

"Umm dude me and Zidane killed it. Remember?"

"Ohh yeah, well I will leave on my journey tomorrow Muhahahahahahahahah." With that Steve threw a pebble, a puff of smoke covered him then the smoke settled Steve was still there.

"Oh umm..I got to go this way now." With that Steve walked away

"Well lets celebrate with a hearty drink."

"Zidane," Garnet came back over, not noticing all the feathers. "Your right we all really need to celebrate. Lets go!"


	11. A Cat Fight

Later at Kasey's bar, everyone was having a hearty drink. Zidane, Pippin and Merry were on the table dancing and singing.

"Ohhhhhhh idy idy idy idy idy idy idy." Yuna wasn't saying much and just sitting like a little mouse. Kasey wanted to go and talk to here to know more about here.

"Hey."

"Hello."

"So I hear you're the one in the circus. What do you do?"

"I don't know what you're talking about?"

"Ohh…o.k.…" Kasey was confused, was Tidus lying. "Zidane!" She yelled as she huffed over and pulled Zidane off the table. "I have a question for you."

"Ohh I think I know my little heart." Zidane puckered up his lips, but stopped once Kasey slapped him.

"Eww not that. It's about Yuna. I think Tidus lied, is Yuna really a circus performer."

"Ha a circus performer is that the best lie he could come up with." Kasey grabbed Zidane by the collar.

"Tell me who is she."

"I don't know, it will have to cost you." Arching his eyebrow Zidane smiled. "Let's go in a secret place, and make out."

"Hey I'm over you, now tell me." Kasey pulled back a fist.

"O.k., but you owe me later." Zidane told Kasey all about Yuna and Tidus being engaged.

Zidane went back to his singing and dancing, thinking of how Kasey was going to pay him back later. Yuna saw that Tidus was just sitting and taking little sips of his drink. So she went over to talk to him.

"Hello."

"Yuna you're awake."

"I've been sitting in the corner for hours and you haven't even noticed me!"

"Ohhh. Are you angry at me?"

"Ohh, I'm more than angry, I know you were flirting with her!"

"Her who?" His eyes shifted back and forth and his face turned red.

"Her!" Yuna pointed at Kasey, who was chasing after Zidane, after he spilled beer all over her and trying to kiss her again.

"Owww….ummm….I can explain, she's a lost circus performer fallowing me around until we find her home."

"Ohh sure. You know, you're a really bad liar." Just then Kasey came over whipping off her shirt with a dry cloth.

"Tidus!" Kasey formed a fist and pulled back her arm. Tidus screamed like a girl and hid behind a chair. "I can't believe you lied to me." She started to throw a punch, but before it could hit Tidus, Yuna grabbed it. "Hey stay out of it Yuna. You know Tidus, I'm not mad at you for being engaged, but you lied to me."

"Hey, listen, he's my fiancé so I will deal with him as I like, and how dare you of trying to hit on him."

"Soon he'll like me, and you will be out of the picture."

"Ohh yeah." Kasey and Yuna were going at it. Ripping each others cloths and doing the little sissy slapping. Kasey pushed Yuna out the door in the poring rain, and fallowed. All the guys in the bar wanted excitement and all went to the window, looking at the at the girls fighting in the rain.

"Ooooooooo."

"Ahhhhhhhh."

"Wooooooow." Just then Zidane went outside to settle it.

"Hey. Hey. Hey." Yuna and Kasey stopped and looked over. "Why aren't you guys fighting over me, I mean Tidus doesn't have a tail, no good looks. I mean come on now." The girls looked at each other and nodded. Then punched Zidane right in the face and he fell right to the ground. "I think I deserved that." Kasey and Yuna walked back inside.

"Wow Zidane I saw what happened back there are you alright?"

"Yeah Tidus, I'm fine. I had worse."

"I don't think so." Tidus gave Zidane a mirror, and showed him that he had 2 black eyes.

"Ohh. I still had worse."

"Yeah, but it serves you right. It shows you girls can fight over me too."

"Ohh hunny-bunny, come here. Let me help you."

"Hey get off me. Why don't we have another drink?"

"I don't really think that we should. I think we should start going. You know you can never trust Steve." Dunt-dunt-daaaa

"What do you mean go? Dontcha know there's a tournament going on?" Zidane pointed to an advertisement. "It's starting in an hour or so."

"What's the tournament about?" Garnet asked.

"Hmm…It's a math competition. Hah I'm great at math." Zidane bragged.

"Well, you only have an hour to sober up." Tidus looked to see were it takes place.

"I do better with ale in my head. You wanna go sigh me up heart?"

"And do math! Ick! Who in the world throws math competitions?" Garnet made a sick face.

"I'll sigh up with you. Maybe I can get money and buy new cloths."

"You mean IF you win. Which of course your not." Zidane and Tidus went to sign up and then came back to drink some more.


	12. Do you Know your Math

The battle begins. The tournament was taking place outside, so everyone can see who wins and how. There were about 5 contestants in all. Not many people sighed up, but they must have had other plans.

"The winner must answer all the questions correctly. The one with the most points wins. The prize is a year supply of M&M's a crystal sphere and….one…billion gil. Now everyone's buzzards work, so the first question is something easy, 17x86?"

Beep! "Its 1,462!" Zidane called out.

"Correct. The next one is 23x84?"

Beep! "1,932!" Zidane called out again.

"Correct."

"Wow! Zidane's good." Garnet said to Yuna while screaming and clapping. "Go Zidane! Yay!"

"The next is 76 divided by 21. I advise to round to the nearest hundredth?"

Beep! "3.62." Tidus pushed the buzzard before Zidane. The next hours went on with cheerleaders cheering and answers being yelled out.

"Square root of 6?"

Beep! "2.449489743!"

"852 times 8508?"

"7248816!"

"Square root of 8117?"

Beep! "90.09439494!"

"9459 divided by 90458?"

Beep! ".0104567866-" Finally, there was one question left. Whoever gets this one is technically the winner. The other problems were just warm ups for the hardest one. A mysterious man named was in first, then Zidane and Tidus. The rest of the goons, we don't care about.

"This is it. The last question is…2…+…2." The crowd gasped, the contestants looked puzzled, and Garnet crossed her fingers. Then a buzzer was buzzed.

Beep! Everyone stared at the Sephiroth guy. "It's 4." Then everyone looked at the judge who was quite shocked.

"Y-yes. That's correct. The winner is Setheirooth."

"It's Sephiroth!"

"Yeah….Okay, you win. No wait that's not the right answer." The crowed gasped again and whispered among themselves.

"What?"

"He's wrong, then what's the answer?" the judge leaned over and asked one of the score keepers.

"What's the actual answer?"

"It's 4. He's right."

"No he can't, we don't have a billion gil. Ahem. The REAL answer is umm…um…it's ONE!"

"That's not true!"

"Yeah. Well….beat him with stones!"

"Oh no! We have to stop these guys." Garnet cried and ran to Zidane. "Zidane! We have to stop them."

"I don't know. If they kill him, I might be the winner…." Zidane imagined what he's was going to spend his billion on.

"Zidane! It's not nice beating people with stones!"

"Well, how about sticks?" Tidus joked.

"No!"

"Garnet you're too much of a goody goody. That's going to put you in danger one day. Besides, I want my billion; I still need to pay Bob." Zidane crossed his arms and acted like a stubborn jack- uhh donkey.

"Also, the tournament is over and no one wins." The announcer exclaimed.

"Aww, blood and flaming ashes." Zidane kicked the ground as he cursed.

"See? Now let's stop them."

"I don't think the villages need to be stopped." Yuna and Rikku ran over to the others.

"What do you mean?" Garnet looked around and Sephiroth had his sword outand started to kill everyone. "Oh no, Zidane, we have to stop him."

"What is it with you? First, you want to stop the city people from their tradition. Now you want to stop a man from obtaining self defense?" Zidane shook his head.

"Well, he shouldn't be killing everyone." Yuna pointed out.

"Fine. Come on gang." Zidane and the others ran to stop Sephiroth, but before they reached him or even went twenty paces, another man with silver hair brought out his crystal sword and started attacking him. It was a sword fight between two highly skilled, silver haired swordmans. Everyone who was not weeping for the dead or caring them away, was watching the magnificent, interesting, and entertaining battle. Some even started to place bets.

"Hmmm."

"What?" Tidus asked curiously.

"The one with the sparkling sword. I think that's Kuja." Zidane stroked his chin.

"Zidane, they can't be fighting like that. One of them is going to get hurt." Garnet ran to stop the fight, till Zidane yanked her back.

"Hold on." Zidane pointed to a brown haired girl with a pony tail that matches her pink dress. She ran to stop the fight too.

"Stop! The city should have peace and love." Aeris the flower girl screamed and waved her arms. Sephiroth's sword accidentally swung towards her, but luckily, she dodged it. However, Kuja's sword intentionally sliced between her head and shoulders. Lets just say this taught Garnet a lesson about world peace and happiness.

"See Garnet? That could've been you." The fight immediately stopped once Aeris…lost her head. Sephiroth stared at Kuja.

"You killed her."

"She distracted me. Honest mistake." Kuja put on an innocent smile.

"Good answer. You know, you got skill. Lets say we go to an inn and have a drink."

"Alright, but I told my wife I'll be staying at the Dragon Scale." The two of them walked away in a odd conversation.

"That's Kuja? Wow he's cold mean, evil, killer, harsh, and deadly." Yuna made a disapproving look.

"He used to be nicer until Shannon corrupted him." Zidane explained. "Of course, once you're married you're ruined. You won't, Tidus, You'll be ruined, he he."


	13. Talking with Family

Wondering what Kuja was doing in town, Zidane went to meet him at the inn. The rest of the gang was impressed with his way of blade, so they tagged along too. Inside the inn, Kuja sat in a chair, leaning back with his feet on the table, and talking with Sephiroth.

"Hey, Kuja." Zidane joined him, sitting across the table. Rikku and Yuna stood their distance and Sephiroth talked with Tidus about weapons.

"Wow, You're still sober. Didn't expect that. Why are you here? Shannon said you're messed up living in a ditch." Kuja smiled at Zidane cruelly.

"It's a good thing Shannon thinks highly of me. So, what are you doing here?"

"One of the sales men got her tigers ill and now I'm buying her a pack of wolves to cheer her up."

"What is she going to feed her wolves?" Zidane could just imagine.

"You, if you call that castle yours."

"Shhh." Zidane lowered his voice. Garnet was daydreaming behind him. "Not in front of Garnet."

"That's it!" Garnet exclaimed. "You can kick him out of your castle, Zidane. Bloody killer." She gave Kuja a mean glare.

"I didn't kill her. She just ran into the sharp end of my sword." Garnet lowered her head and turned meek. Zidane found that slightly funny.

"That's something Shannon would say."

"Yeah. She's starting to kill people with her bow and arrows, except she can't pull back the bow, and she doesn't know how to make arrows. Pathetic, stubborn, weakling. Takes after her brother-in-law."

"Yeah….W-wait I'm her brother-in-law!"

"Oh look, here comes the darling now." Shannon walked in the bar. She was tall, slim, and seemly built, with slightly tanned skin, shiny and wavy blond hair, and blue eyes. When she walked in and walked towards to the table with Kuja and Zidane, everyone in the bar bowed to Shannon as if she were queen.

"Bow to the lady. We worship you. Were unworthy! Were not worthy!" Shannon waved to someone who's walking in. "The great, gorgeous Shannon is waving to someone. Who is worthy of a wave?" The crowd looked to the door and saw Kasey waving back. Their excitement faded. "Oh it's only her….She's not special enough…." The people went back to their drinks and conversation.

"Zidane! Kasey said you were here." Shannon and Kasey took a chair and sat around the table Yuna and Rikku continued to stand and whispered to each other. "Kuja I hope that blood belongs to someone special?" Kuja nodded and put a satisfying smile on. "I mean how could you do that? You can't just go around killing people. Even if it is someone who deserves it." The group looked at her.

"You sent Kuja to kill her?"

"Do you mean Aeris?"

"Ummm….yeah. I wanted her dead ever since I meet her."

"Why? What did she do to you to make you not like her."

"It's a long story, too long for this fanfic. Anyway, I'll cut it short that she owed me, wore pink, sold me dead flowers, obsessed with peace, killed my cat, broke my necklace, dirtied my boots, ate my chocolate, stole my trench, destroyed my piano, said she was better, cheated during a battle challenge, drank my diet Pepsi, and I just hate her personality. I can go on. So, Zidane what are you doing here? Kuja said you fell off a bridge and was licking toads in a ditch." Zidane glanced at Kuja.

"He….said….that?"

"Oh toughen up. What are you doing all the way in Camilon?" Shannon took a sip of her drink.

"Some old, little man told us to find the 'magical magical' in order to save the world from an evil hoodlum." Shannon almost chocked, laughing with a mouthful of Diet Pepsi.

"You….save…the world? The people are better off ending their lives. And whats so threading about a hoodlum? They're goons with hoods. Also what does the 'magical magical' have to do with the journey. All you have to do is kill the hoodlum."

"Hmm….Actually, the old man told us to retrieve it for him." Shannon shook her head.

"You demented golden retriever. You even have a tail to show for it." Before Zidane said something dumb, Rikku interupted.

"Let's have an eating contest, Kwasey! We can eat pies with…pies in them!" Rikku jumped up and down excitedly.

"Well, o.k."


	14. Pie

A quick chapter about the pie eating contest. There were about ten contestants, Zidane, Garnet, Tidus, Rikku, not Yuna, not Shannon, maybe Sephiroth, definitely not Kuja, and five other fruity-tooties joined the competition. "O.k. here are the rules," announced Kasey. "Who ever eats the most pies in 20 minuets win. For a little twist, the pies will be cantaloupe and cranberries."

"Eww..That's disgusting." Shannon blurted out.

"Ya know," Yuna began in an 'I know it all' voice. "There's nothing wrong with trying new things, like cantaloupe pie."

"I was talking about the cranberries, 'princess'. This is another thing why I hated Aeris…others are that sh-" Kuja quickly cut her off before she started whinnying and complaining.

"Drink your soda and watch Zidane lose to a girl. If he actually does, I'll buy you a big bag of M&M's."

"O.k., Kujy." Anything with the word M&M's shuts her up before she starts.

"Alright, on 3. 1…..2…21/2….23/4….3 go!" The contestants stuffed their faces with pies, except Princess Garnet, who has mature eating habits. It was a gross sight, seeing people with cranberries all over their face and eating with their mouths open. Zidane looked like he was winning, but then again he does have a big mouth. After twenty minuets Kasey called stop. Tidus ate 35, Zidane had 38, the others we don't care about, and Garnet ate 42, her lucky number. Amazingly Garnet won the pie contest, so predictable. Garnet took a napkin and lightly wiped the corners of her mouth, the only place where pie got on her face. Everyone cheered for her, except Tidus, Zidane, and the other losers, who had stomach aches.

"Yay! You rock Garnet!" Yuna screamed.

"I get M&M's!" Shannon was just as happy. However…

"That slow, idiotic, baboon! How could he loose! Seriously, how can he loose to her! He drinks beer faster." Kuja was quite disappointed.

"Kujy, I want my emems."

"Yeah sure hunny. That loser I'm not related to him."


	15. Off Agian

"Zidane, look Steve-" Dunt-dunt-daaaa "is going into the Forest of Secrets." Yuna proclaimed.

"Ohhhh do we have to go? If we do then I have to walk there. Wait did you just say Forest of…….Secrets? Well, in that case, let's go!"

"Zidane, I want to know what you think about me, hunny-bunny." They all walked in fright thinking what kind of Secrets of there's would be out in the open, but Zidane wasn't worried because all his secrets everyone already knew. After they couldn't see the light from the entrance they started to see glowing eyes and heard creepy voices telling there deepest darkest secrets.

"Ohhh yes, finally. Here come the secrets!"

"I want to go back. I don't want to go any father." Rikku cried. Just then creatures started telling secrets, there voices sounded like a thousand violins, played by one a fifth grade band class.

"Garnet, Zidane doesn't like you."

"He…..he doesn't?"

"Tidus, you're a dumb blond."

"No….no I'm not."

"Zidane, you're an alcoholic."

"Yeah who cares? Get to the good stuff."

"Rikku, you're annoying."

"No, no it's not true!"

"Yuna, you're obsessed with the ring."

"Ummmmmmm, no I'm not."

"Garnet, you're just dumb."

"Stop it! Stop it!" Later, after disturbing secrets, they saw the light of the exit. Everyone was crying, but Zidane, and Rikku was just dancing around, being happy she was out of there.

"Oh lighten up you babies. Like you didn't know those already? Instead of the Forest of Secrets, they should call it the Forest of Obvious Secrets."

"Oooo…Zidane let's go there? Look there it is!" Rikku jumped up and down pointing to another forest, with a big sign on it that said Forest of Obvious Secrets.

"Ohhhhh no, I'm sick of secrets that I already know. Let's go to Vlexia. It's a 5 hour walk. Ohh I gots to walk no, _mumble mumble_."

After a little bit a giant, bigger than before, flutter fly came down and grabbed the group, knocking them unconscious along the way.


	16. The Favor

Then the next moment everyone, but Rikku, woke up from unconsciousness and each found themselves tied up by the ankles and hanging upside down over a very large tank.

"Ahahaha no one look my skirt is up." Yuna yelled in terror as she tried to push down her skirt as Zidane and Tidus tried looking when not told not to.

"Are you comfortable?" Said a mysterious voice.

"No-" Tidus yelled with anger. The mysterious figure walked out, it was STEVE!

"Well… good. Muahahahahahaha-" Mean while many minutes later. "ahahahahahahaha..ha..ha… Muahahaha."

"Man that's getting old, ya know."

"O.k. then you no good blond, in that case I will stop. Muahaha."

"Steve-" Dunt-dunt-daaa

"What is it now monkey boy?"

"Why did you capture us? Where's Rikku?" The only one not there. "And what the hell is in this tank?"

"Rikku? Ohhh that angel that fell from heaven?" Steve sighed. "She will soon be my queen and with hers and my powers, we will take over the world." Zidane and Tidus started to giggle. "You will not get her back until you do my favor, and if you don't you will be eaten alive by my pet, which is in that tank."

Garnet tried to guess. "Ummm is… it… a shark?"

"No."

"A chicken?"

"No!"

"Hmmm… A horse?"

"No! Here I'll show you." Steve pulled a rope next to him, to let the creature loose.

"Ohhh no a goldfish, how terrifying." Yuna said sarcastically, but noticed her skirt flew up as she shook her hands.

"This… is my goldfish Goldie."

"But it's a fish?" Zidane said confused.

"Oh no, not just some fish, it's the last of its kind. The rarest fish in the world, the eats everything fish." Steve held out a large piece of steak over the tank, let it drop and the fish jumped up and tore the steak to a billion pieces, until there was nothing left.

"A… vicious… fish."

"Muahahahahahaha."

"But I still don't get why you captured us?"

"I need you four to do me a favor for me."

"Let us down and well do it." Tidus said stubbornly. Just then Zidane started to use his brain for once, he started untying his ropes from his feet, because Steve was too stupid to tie there hands too. Zidane hanged by his hands swinging by the rope. He swung off and did a summersault in the air, landing down in front of Steve.

"Listen up, let us go, or let's get dirty."

"Ewww Zidane," Yuna explained with a disgusting look on her face, as she still held her skirt. "that sounds wrong." Just then Steve used his super mind powers, and started to choke Zidane, lifting him off the ground.

"So, Zidane, will you do what I say or will you and you friends be swimming with the fish?"

"… _choke_… _gag_… fall of a… cliff." Everyone gasped at Zidane's insult. Steve was pissed off, he choked Zidane even harder.

"Steve-" Dunt-dunt-daaa "let him go, will do whatever you want just please, please, pwease don't hurt my sugar booger." Zidane fell to the ground, the tank and everyone's ropes disappeared and they all fell to the ground. Garnet ran over to Zidane, who could hardly breathe, and hugged him, making it even harder for him to breath. "Ohhh, baby dumpling, are you ok?"

"Yea, yea. Why did you have to do that? I had him right were I wanted him. I could have taken him." Zidane crossed his arms and pouted his lips, but stopped right when he noticed that Garnet liked that look and when she pinched his cheeks.

"Now, if you four will fallow me into the other room we will get started on the favor you owe me."

"What favor?" Tidus questioned.

Yuna widened her eyes and nudged him.

"Ohhh yea, that… one."

They all went into the other room, and wondered what Steve wanted them to do.

"Alright, what do you want use to do?"

"I need you four, to find me the top twenty greatest warriors. You seem good enough for the job, the way you poofed my flutter fly and all."

"Well, what if we don't want to?" Tidus remarked.

"If you don't, you will die and your friend Rikku will stay her forever."

"O.k., fine with me." Zidane said happily for a chance to get ride of Rikku.

"But Zidane she's our friend we have to."

"The black head is right. So will you do it?"

"Fine. So lets go."

"Wait, we have to get Rikku." Yuna demanded.

"Ohhh, no I don't trust you, so I will keep her until you come back. That will give us time to get to know each other. Now you have to go around the world in eighty… one days, to find these 20 warriors." Everyone gasped.

"Why only 20?" Zidane questioned.

"Well, I don't really know, I guess I really haven't thought it out. Here's the list. Alexander will find you and bring you back here in 81 days. Now its time to go, bub-bye." Steve made his screeching noise and Alexander came to pick them up and flew off.


	17. And yet another contest

They all left Vastle, to go see Shannon.

"Zidane, I think we should let Vivi out now."

"She's right Zidane, he's been in here for more then 4 hours. And he isn't as light as he looks." Tidus dropped the bag on the ground.

"Don't hurt him!" Tidus then opened the bag. Everyone looked in the bag and… "Eeee you killed him." Garnet screeched.

"Ohhh… ummm… no he's just… sleeping." Zidane tried to make up a lie.

"With his eyes open?" Tidus remarked.

"Yea, a lot of people sleep with there eyes open." Everyone looked at Zidane with evil glares. "O.k, o.k., but I would just like to point out… Tidus was holding the bag!"

"But you put him in there."

"Well, how should I know, it's a potato sack, look it has holes in it, how the hell do you suffocate when you have air holes!" Well… will just leave him here and maybe were wrong, I mean he might be alive."

"O.k off to see Shannon!" Garnet jumped.

"Again."

They were now in Do Mash Mish, the palace were Shannon's castle is, yes Shannon has another Castle. They all walked through a large, thunder storming place, with a giant castle going above the clouds. Thundering and lightning, it seemed like this storm would never end. Just then a giant, black dragon came flying over them.

"Everyone get behind me. This dragon is about to become puppy chow." Zidane took out one of his daggers, lifted it up and _pop_ it's head was sliced off. They went on there way, like nothing happened. Then they came up to the huge door to the Castle _knock knock_ there was no answer _ding dong_ still no answer _knock knock ding dong knock knock ding dong knock knock ding dong_ finally someone answered the door, but it wasn't Shannon.

"Kasey!" Tidus yelled in amazement.

"What are you _hu kuut, pmuuto baubmu_ (no good bloody people) doing here?" Obviously they were here at the wrong time.

"Ummm yeah… I love you to." Zidane said with an innocent smile on his face.

"Come on in." Kasey rolled her eyes as she waved her hand signaling them to come in. They came in sogging wet and freeing cold, they walked through halls, corridors, stairs, and rooms. "Shannon, it's those _kuuhc ykych_ (goons again)."

"O.k bring them in." Shannon, who could speak a little al behd, was sitting in a large blue chair, watching her big screen TV, with a black and brown cat on her lap, and a black wolf at her feet.

"Wow, so you have 2 castles?" Tidus said as his voice echoed in the castle.

"2? Ohhh no not even close I have," Shannon counted n her head, "ohhh about, 50."

"50!" Garnet yelled out in amazement. "Ohhh Zidane get me a castle, no 5, no wait 10."

"Hold on I'm not made of money."

"From how much you spend at the bar, it seems you are." Shannon remarked.

"Shhh. Well anyway how did you get here now, I mean first your there, then your there, and now you're here. How is that?"

"Well I usually get around on my dragon."

"It didn't happen to be black did it, flying around, outside?"

"Yes, why?" Shannon made a suspicious look on her face.

"Ohhh no reason." Zidane looked around turning beat red as nothing has happened.

"Hmmm, Kasey go look out the window." Shannon demanded.

"Why can't you go and look?"

"Ohh I'm to lazy. I don't want to get up. And my nails are tacky, I might ruin them. Now go before I make my wolfies kill you." Kasey walked over to the window.

"Geez isn't she your best friend?" Yuna asked.

"Yeah, I guess, but why should I have to get up if I have someone to do it for me?"

Kasey came back, looking like she was about to throw up. "Shannon… _ha'c tayt _(he's dead)."

"My dragon. Damn you bloody writer you killed my dragon." Shannon cried. "Who did it?"

"Ummm… it… was… Tidus, no, no, not me I'm to smart to kill **your** dragon." Zidane bowed down.

"You killed my dragon, didn't you?"

"No… of course not."

"You're a bad liar, ya know." Just then a brown/blond long haired girl with glasses came in.

"Shannon I brought the popcorn and extra stuff for the… the… the." The girl fell head over heals in love with Tidus.

"Yeah whatever, Thanks Regina."

"Com'on guys were already behind schedule." Kasey stuffed a hand full of chips in her mouth.

"What's going on here?" Yuna asked.

"Were having an all girls night." Regina answered opening a can of soda, and started drinking it up.

"Yeah, only girls, so you two can stay, and the boys can rest up stairs."

"Fine, be that way. Come on Tidus." Zidane grabbed Tidus and dragged him off.

"So Shannon, what's this thing?" Yuna pointed to a TV shaped box, well lets just say that it is a TV.

"Ohh, this is my fallovision 5000, the best of all fallovsions, Kuja got it for me."

"Yeah of course he did, you can't buy on anything for yourself." Regina whispered to herself. Shannon turned on the fallovision.

"Look, the Frodo channel. Hahahaha." If you could figure it out already, the fallovision is a TV that shows nothing, but people falling. For some reason Shannon is amused with people falling. "Look he fell, he fell again. Hey he's not getting up, look that guy fell too."

"Hey, guys lets play a game." Kasey said.

"Ok. What?" Yuna asked.

"Oooo, pick me! Pick me!"

"O.k Garnet what?"

"There's this games were you mix up stuff and others bid to see how much it will take for that person to eat or drink it."

"O.k I guess, but I have to go first since I'm Shannon." Everyone rolled there eyes.

"Ok Shannon, go mix some things up and well be here waiting who you will pick." Shannon went off and in 5 minutes she came back with a red mucky substance in a cup. "Who's going to drink it?"

"Hmmm… Yuna." Shannon handed the cup to her.

"What's in it?"

"Well ,some cranberries, some used weed, some dog hair, butterfly wings, and a mystery substance that's been growing outside." Yuna looked at it spinning it around, with a disgusted look on her face. "Well drink it. I bid 2 gil."

"5."

"20."

"27."

"40." Everyone looked at Yuna, then they all yelled out.

"Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug." Yuna lifted the glass and _slurp… crunch… choke_.

"Yeah." Then Yuna got all the money, but while this was all happening.

"Geez Tidus, listen to those girls down there. Lets go spy."

"Spy?"

"Yeah spy. What, don't tell me you never spied before. For all these years of being your friend, you haven't learned anything." They suck downstairs, but what they didn't know is that Regina was coming up to spy on Tidus. Just then they all bumped into each other.

"Awww sorry. Your so dreamy."

"Tidus? What's wrong with this world everyone is suppose to like me, does any one like me any more?" Just then Garnet came along.

"Ohhh, Zidane my snugy wogy, I love you!" She pinched his check and ran off.

"O.k, anyone besides her." They went back upstairs, and Regina went back to the party.

Later, after the party, that everyone needed there stomachs pumped, and everyone was tired.

"O.k you guys can sleep up here." Shannon said to the other girls. They were in the tallest tower in her castle that was above the clouds, but every night the clouds go away so that Shannon can see the moon. After 5 minutes everyone fell asleep.


	18. An old friend well not really

They all left Vastle, to go see Shannon.

"Zidane, I think we should let Vivi out now."

"She's right Zidane, he's been in here for more then 4 hours. And he isn't as light as he looks." Tidus dropped the bag on the ground.

"Don't hurt him." Tidus then opened the bag, everyone looked in the bag. "Eeee you killed him." Garnet screeched.

"Ohhh… ummm… no he's just… sleeping."

"With his eyes open." Tidus remarked.

"Yea, a lot of people sleep with there eyes open." Everyone looked at Zidane with evil glares. "O.k, o.k., but I would just like to point out… Tidus was holding the bag.!"

"But you put him in there."

"Well, how should I know, it's a potato sack, look it has holes in it, how the hell do you suffocate when you have air holes!" Well… will just leave him here and maybe were wrong, I mean he might be alive."

"O.k off to see Shannon!" Garnet jumped.

"Again."

They were now in Do Mash Mish, the palace were Shannon's castle it, yes Shannon has another Castle. They all walked through a large, thunder storming place, with a giant castle going above the clouds. Thundering and lightning, it seemed like this storm would never end. Just then a giant, black dragon came flying over them.

"Everyone get behind me. This dragon is about to become puppy chow." Zidane took out one of his daggers, lifted it up and (pop) it's head was sliced off. They went on there way, like nothing happened. Then they came up to the huge door to the Castle (knock knock) there was no answer (ding dong) still no answer (knock knock ding dong knock knock ding dong knock knock ding dong) finally someone answered the door, but it wasn't Shannon.

"Kasey!" Tidus yelled in amazement.

"What are you _hu kuut, pmuuto baubmu_ (no good bloody people) doing here?" Obviously they were here at the wrong time.

"Ummm yeah… I love you to." Zidane said with an innocent smile on his face.

"Come on in." They came in sogging wet and freeing cold, they walked through halls, corridors, stairs, and rooms. "Shannon, it's those _kuuhc ykych_ (goons again)."

"O.k bring them in." Shannon, who could speak a little al behd, was sitting in a large blue chair, watching her big screen TV, with a black and brown cat on her lap, and a black wolf at her feet.

"Wow, so you have 2 castles?" Tidus said as his voice echoed in the castle.

"2? Ohhh no not even close I have," Shannon counted n her head, "ohhh about, 50."

"50!" Garnet yelled out in amazement. "Ohhh Zidane get me a castle, no 5, no wait 10."

"Hold on I'm not made of money."

"From how much you spend at the bar, it seems you are." Shannon remarked.

"Shhh. Well anyway how did you get here now, I mean first your there, then your there, and now you're here. How is that?"

:Well I usually get around on my dragon."

"It didn't happen to be black did it, flying around, outside?"

"Yes, why?" Shannon made a suspicious look on her face.

"Ohhh no reason." Zidane looked around turning beat red as nothing has happened.

"Hmmm, Kasey go look out the window." Shannon demanded.

"Why can't you go and look?"

"Ohh I'm to lazy. I don't want to get up. And my nails are tacky, I might ruin them. Now go before I make my wolfies kill you." Kasey walked over to the window.

"Geez isn't she your best friend?" Yuna asked.

"Yeah, I guess, but why should I have to get up if I have someone to do it for me."

Kasey came back, looking like she was about to throw up. "Shannon… _ha'c tayt_"(he's dead)

"My dragon. Damn you bloody writer you killed my dragon." Shannon cried. "Who did it?"

"Ummm… it… was… Tidus, no, no, not me I'm to smart to kill **your** dragon." Zidane bowed down.

"You killed my dragon, didn't you?"

"No… of course not."

"You're a bad liar, ya know." Just then a brown/blond long haired girl with glasses came in.

"Shannon I brought the popcorn and extra stuff for the… the… the." The girl fell head over heals in love with Tidus.

"Yeah whatever, Thanks Regina."

"Com'on guys were already behind schedule." Kasey stuffed a hand full of chips in her mouth.

"What's going on here " Yuna asked.

"Were having an all girls night." Regina answered opening a can of soda, and started drinking it up.

"Yeah, only girls, so you two can stay, and the boys can rest up stairs."

"Fine, be that way. Come on Tidus." Zidane grabbed Tidus and dragged him off.

"So Shannon, what's this thing?" Yuna pointed to a TV shaped box, well lets just say that it is a TV.

"Ohh, this is my fallovision 5000, the best of all fallovsions, Kuja got it for me."

"Yeah of course he did, you cant buy on anything for yourself." Regina whispered to herself. Shannon turned on the fallovision.

"Look, the Frodo channel. Hahahaha." If you could figure it out already, the fallovision is a TV that shows nothing, but people falling. For some reason Shannon is amused with people falling. "Look he fell, he hell again. Hey he's not getting up, look that guy fell too."

"Hey, guys lets play a game." Kasey said.

"Ok. What?" Yuna asked.

"Oooo, pick me! Pick me!"

"O.k Garnet what?"

"There's this games were you mix up stuff and others bid to see how much it will take for that person to eat or drink it."

"O.k I guess, but I have to go first since I'm the on Shannon." Everyone rolled there eyes.

"Ok Shannon, go mix some things up and well be here waiting who you will pick." Shannon went of and in 5 minutes she came back with a red mucky substance in a cup. "Who's going to drink it?"

"Hmmm… Yuna." Shannon handed the cup to her.

"What's in it?"

"Well ,some cranberries, some used weed, some dog hair, butterfly wings, and a mystery substance that's been growing outside." Yuna looked at it spinning it around, with a disgusted look on her face. "Well drink it. I bid 2 gil."

"5."

"20."

"27."

"40." Everyone looked at Yuna, then they all yelled out.

"Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug." Yuna lifted the glass and (slurp)… (crunch)… (choke).

"Yeah." Then Yuna got all the money, but while this was all happening.

"Geez Tidus, listen to those girls down there. Lets go spy."

"Spy?"

"Yeah spy. What, don't tell me you never spied before. For all these years of being your friend, you haven't learned anything." They suck downstairs, but what they didn't know is that Regina was coming up to spy on Tidus. Just then they all bumped into each other.

"Awww sorry. Our so dreamy."

"Tidus? What's wrong with this world everyone is suppose to like me, does any one like me any more?" Just then Garnet came along.

"Ohhh, Zidane my snugy wogy, I love you!" She pinched his check and ran off.

"O.k, anyone besides her." They went back upstairs, and Regina went back to the party.

Later, after the party, that everyone needed there stomachs pumped, everyone was tired.

"O.k you guys can sleep up here." Shannon said to the other girls. They were in the tallest tower in her castle that was above the clouds, but every night the clouds go away so that Shannon can see the moon. After 5 minutes everyone fell asleep.

5


	19. Still not doing good

The next morning Zidane, Tidus, Yuna, Garnet, Kasey, and Regina came down stairs in the Grand Dining room. Plates and cups were on the Grand Table, copied by the fancy dishes for breakfast.

"Wow, look at all this food." Yuna stood there in surprise along with everyone else. "Who could have made all this delicious food?"

"You guys just gonna stand there and look at it, or ya gonna eat it?" Shannon walked up from behind them carrying two pitchers. "My cooking's not that bad is it?"

"You… cook?" Zidane laughed. "You can't cook! You can't even warm up left overs with out Kuja to guide you!"

"Why must you think he does everything? If you don't think I can't cook, then you can't eat. NOR will you be able to have shelter anymore. In fact, you owe me 1000gil for killing my 1 out of 3000 black dragons!"

"Whoa, calm down." Shannon gave Zidane a nasty glare.

"I can do very well without Kuja, I'll have you know. The only person who's making the money around here is me by killing beasts because I have to cool off some how while dealing with annoyances like you!"

"Please Shannon I know of course you're the life supporter. Without you Kuja would be a low slum like me, and I would live in a ditch." Zidane said in a comforting voice.

"Still not happy."

"Oh, come on. I'll buy you three silver dragons, M + M's, Steak, a new sword, some silver jewelry, and a swing in your backyard."

"I don't want any of that."

"Then what do you want?"

Shannon bowed her head with a meek expression, her hands were folded at her waist, and her shoulders slouched as she looked up at Zidane with her big blue eyes. "I wanna hug." She said in a soft voice that made Zidane feel guilty.

"Awe. You look so darn cute; of course I'll give you a hug. Zidane walked over and gave Shannon her hug. "I'll give you a kiss on credit, too, of you want."

"There's no need to be **that** generous." Shannon pushed Zidane aside. "Okay, let's eat. The's food aint gonna last forevar."

"Is not going to last forever."

"Take your grammar somewhere else, Yunie. Its certainly not welcomed here."

Everyone sat down to a nice, healthy, satisfying meal. Tidus sat in the middle between Kasey and Regina who, the whole time, stared at him. Zidane looked at him jealously and disappointedly sat by Garnet, and she was too amazed with the fine cooking to talk. Yuna, of course sat across from Tidus, kind of left out and lonely, watching the two girls star at Tidus dreamily.

"Hey Shannon, where's the Breakfast beer?"

"Breakfast beer?"

"Or um… beer?"

"(Sigh) Why don't you try this instead?" Shannon poured Zidane a glass of clear liquid.

"What is it?"

"Drink it."

"But what is it?"

"I said… DRINK IT!"

"Okay, okay. Drinking." Zidane tried some then put the glass down. "Hmmm it's kind of familiar."

"Familiar?" Shannon lifted an eyebrow.

"Yeah. It's light, cool, refreshing and tasteless. I know I had it somewhere…"

"It's a five letter word that starts with W and ends with R." Shannon hinted.

"Wooter. Whelr, wosher, wathr. Ummm…"

"Try water."

"Wa-ter, water, water? Oh! It's water! Hehehehe. I-I knew that." Zidane looked embarrassed Tidus, Kasey and Regina laughed, Shannon sighed with a smile, Yuna shook her head, and Garnet looked worried.

"So, why are you here? I thought you were going after the hoodlum?"

"Were on a quest!" Garnet cheered happily. "We had 81 days to go around the world and collect the 20 finest warriors, in order to save Rikku ehah."

"Why? What's wrong with Rikku?"

"Ohhh Steve-" (Dunt-Dunt-Daaa) "is holding her hostage until we finish his favor. Hehehehe." Garnet smiled, she is so joyful this morning.

Unfortunately, Shannon just so happened to be drinking her milk at that same time, and well, when people like Garnet say something dumb, she usually chokes. "(Cough)…(cough)(cough) You have to do a favor for the bloody goon?"

"What's wrong with helping the bad guy?" Tidus questioned while glancing between Kasey and Regina.

"There's nothing wrong, except you helping the guy you're perusing- becoming his pet and all- he's never gonna die." Shannon easily explained. "So, who are the warriors that you need to get?"

"Well, there was Vivi- however, he left in a way-, there are a few other people, and then you." Tidus lift up the list he pick pocketed from Zidane.

"Am I on the list?"

"Me too?"

Kasey and Regina look up at Tidus and blinked there eyes full of hope. "Um… well… ahem… no…" Kasey and Regina looked disappointed and cast their eyes down. Regina looked up at him sweetly and batted her eyelashes.

"Puh-leeease?" She begged. She leaned forward toward him and smiled again. "With whipped cream and cherries on top."

"Well…" he paused, considering. "Well, I **do **like cherries, Okay then!"

"Tidus, you can't put her on the list!" Yuna shouted out jealously.

Tidus looked back to Regina. "Please?"

"(Awe) What are you talking about, Yuna? We can take her with us." Tidus smiled down at her.

Yuna face fired red and stomped away cursing.

"Wait, I'm on the list?" Shannon walked over and grabbed the list out of Tidus' hand. "I **AM **on the list! (gasp) It says my name and where I am and… and… He's spying on me… Hey, Kuja's on here too! Squally and Link is too! Why am I on the list?"

"You to know Link and Zelda?" Regina questioned.

Garnet joined in the conversation. "Of course I know Link, but who the heck is Zelda?" Regina answered- with another question.

"You don't know Zelda?"

"(Hey)!"

"NO, is she important?"

"Why yes, she-"

"For the bloody light! I asked a question to no one particular, but I do expect an answer." Garnet and Regina piped and waited for someone to talk.

"You're on of the warriors St-, I mean the hoodlum needs." Tidus explained.

"Well yeah, I'm a great warrior. In fact, I'm the greatest warrior. So, what do I have to do?"

"We have to take you to Steve" (Dunt-dunt-daaa). Garnet spoke up.

Shannon lay back in her chair and crossed her arms. "Sorry to make your job harder, but I ain't going."

"But you have to."

"NOPE." Shannon shook her head.

"Zidane, if she doesn't come, we'll never see Rikku again."

Shannon smiled. "What's wrong with that?"

"That's what I said!" Agreeing Zidane too, leaned back and put his on the table, thinking 'he's-so-smart.'

"It's great that you're using more than 1 1/2 of your brain, although, you're easily persuade because you're leading this group the wrong way. Feet off, you don't have to take after Kuja."

Zidane put on a sour look as he slowly lifted his feet and placed them on the ground.

"Unlike you, Zidane, I don't run when someone says fetch-sadly, Kuja does. Anyhow, I'm not going to come when someone snaps their fingers, that's what dogs are for, or in your case, monkeys."

"Who you calling a monkey, you… you um… For get it. You just ignore my insulting names… wiener."

"Hehehehe. When do you guys wanna leave?" I'll walk you out."

"When you mean 'walking us out', do you mean pushing u out the tower window?"

Tidus smirked and he smiled wide as Regina whispered. "Probably." Next to his ear.

"I don't have the energy, but that can be arranged if you don't keep your mouth shut. Blood and ashes Regina, stop hitting on him. You know he barley likes you."

"I think we should go." Zidane decided before a dangerously, expected scene happens.

Shannon walked the all out to the exit. "You realize Garnet; the only way to get what you want is to fight for it."

"Oh, okay. Hey Zidane look! There's the sun! Ooh I hope it's going to be nice and in the 70's."

"Ick. I hate warm and sunny days."

"Wow Shannon. I'm surprised you're not an evil sorceress, trying to take over the world."

"If I honestly wanted too, Tidus, it would already be mine."

"She sounds just like you Zidane or did you get the attitude from her?"

"I could still drag you up by the ear and throw you out of my tower. Trust, you, I and everyone else knows very well you won't live to see the next day if I must."

Tidus fell silent, knowing that Shannon always carries out her threats and also, knowing her sharp tongue won the deepest cut.

They all said there goodbyes, farewells and good radiances, and continued the journey. Regina came along for obvious reasons. Garnet kept nagging Shannon to come.

"Zidane! Can't you make her come? She's so stubborn. Kind of like you."

"Hey I'm not stubborn. However, she should come along, since that's why I came all this way." He glared at Shannon for making him come to Do Mosh Mish for no reason.

"Oh quit your complaining. First of all you're not very good at it, second that's my job. Here, take this." Shannon threw them a nag with 30,000 Gil.

"Well… is this for us or for Ste- ahem, the hoodlum?" Tidus looked at the money wide eyed.

"If you want it, take it. My opinion, kill the hoodlum and not be a slave. Blonds are so dumb." Shaking her head, Shannon couldn't help insulting the moron.

"You're a blond too." Tidus put on a sulking look.

"Yeah, I have my blond moments, but you are blond 24/7."

Tidus growled and before he could deny, Zidane spoke first. "That's enough Shannon anymore he'll cry."

"Awww I wanna see him cry." Shannon tried to think of some more hurtful comments to make him burst out in tears. "The sensitive guys are so cute."

"You! You like sensitive guys, but you're so hard." Yuna looked surprised.

"She doesn't like them-them. She just likes to see them cry." Regina looked up at Tidus with her sparkling eyes. "Me on the other hand, I find them romantic, breath taking and caring." She sighed deeply.

"Okay, okay. You guys are gonna leave or what?" With that the group finally left without Shannon and continued their way to the next city or town, I'm not sure, of Milunix.

The great Kimahri was in Milunix Kimahri used to be Yuna's guardian (kind of like a security guard only worse. After Yuna meet Tidus and could take care of her self, Kimahri

10


	20. The friend I lost

Now Kimahri is a Ronso and Ronsos are giant cats that like spears and talk in 3rd person.

Oh course they had to travel a couple miles to get there, but we all know what the group usually does, sleep, eat, talk and walk. Really, there isn't much to say after all the traveling they have done so far.

Lets just skip ahead to were they already enter Milunix. It was a dull city with buildings made from wood and cement. The roads were made of stone and gravel with weeds growing between cracks. It was anything, but interesting.

There was a Ronso at the entrance, he seemed to be the info man that's always half asleep. Zidane looked at him and considered to ask if he knew where Kimahri might be.

"Excuse me, do you know where Kimahri may be?"

"Kimahri in there." The Ronso pointed inside.

"I figured that, but do you know 'where' he is inside?"

"Kimahri lives in house."

Zidane smacked his palm against his head. The third person is getting him nowhere. "Fine, well find him ourselves."

"Hey Zidane, why don't we stop at an inn and rest. I'm exhausted." Regina groaned.

"Oh toughen up. You came with us on your own. It's not our fault you're to skinny and out of shape." Yuna snapped which caused Regina to glare.

"Calm down. Of course we could stop at an inn." Tidus smiled at Regina.

She looked up at him, batted her eyes and smiled. "Thank you." Then she looked at Yuna over her shoulder and grinned evilishy.

The group wondered around the city looking for an inn, but there didn't seem to be any. After a few hours, the group rested in the center of the city by an enormous fountain. They walked everywhere in the city about five times and still no inn.

Regina was passing out while Garnet was complaining. "Ohhh. Where is it. Lovey-dove, my feet hurt. Maybe we should ask for directions."

"Directions! Men don't need directions. Its here somewhere. We just probably missed it a few times." Yes, men must keep their natural findings instincts pride.

"Then you could go and find it yourself. I wanna rest for a while." Garnet leaned back and went off to her fantasy world.

Zidane stood there thinking to himself. (Me… go off… by myself… in this strange city. Something could happen. What if I get caught by the Ronso Mafia? Is there a Ronso Mafia? Nah. They're to dumb to form one… Ir are they to smart?) Yes, Zidane thought that. He does think, just not nay smart useful thinking. "Fine, but Yuna has to come with me and ask." Since Garnet is lost in a land far away.

"W-why not Regina?" Yuna whined as she stared at her head on Tidus' shoulder. A jealously spark twinged in her eyes. If Tidus wasn't careful their could be another cat fight over him. The victor would most likely be Yuna, since Regina was much out of shape.

Zidane shook his head depressingly. He wished he was in a big city where all the girls knew him- in a good way- and tell him his grand adventures while they gasped in awe. "Come on Yuna. You're the only one who has yet to lose control."

The two of them walked up to another Ronso, in fact the city was a Ronso city. Milunix is the city Ronsos live in. Understand that there are many other species besides humans that live in this world. Of course they live in there own cities and continents, yet some are travelers. However, you should have already had that in your mind. If you don't well… you do now.

Continuing with Yuna talking with the Ronso, who by the way was much bigger, muscular, the people, but yet seemed smaller than the rest and had a broken horn on his head.

"Excuse me, um sir. Do you know where we could find an inn?" Yuna asked, but realizing this Ronso was a bit familiar…

The Ronso turned around and somewhat smiled- if a cat could smile- as he saw Yuna. "No inn here, High Summaner Yuna."

"Kimahri!" Yuna's eyes lit up when she saw her old time friend.

"Oh good we found him, but lets get back to the topic. What do you mean there's no inn? What about visitors? IS there bars? There has to be some beer."

"No inn. There no visitors. No 'bars' or 'beers'." Kimahri sounded as if unfamiliar with bars and beers.

Zidane's eyes widened in shock to hear such uncomfortable words." N-no beers?... Perhaps you call them something else." He thought. "Okay, how about ale?"

"No."

"Whisky, wine, vodka?"

"None."

"Smirnoff, scotch, rum, gin, brandy, bur bin, Diet Pepsi!"

"No, there isn't any those."

Zidane was about to explode. They just had to have something suitable for a drink. "Well what do you have!"

Kimahri pointed to a river that leads to the fountain where the rest of the group was resting. "Good, clean, clear, refreshing, fresh, tasty, water."

"'Wa… ter'…" Still stumbling over the awkward word, his mind went blank. "No alcohol?..." With that Zidane blacked out.

When Zidane became conscious again, he was by the fountain along with everybody else. Garnet was watching him, Yuna was talking with Kimahri and Regina and Tidus were asleep.

Zidane looked up at Garnet from where he was laying. Garnets eyes carried worry and caring. Her face brightened with happiness seeing that Zidane was alright.

"Oh sugar-sweets." She gave him a big, but gentle hug.

"What happened?" Zidane rubbed his head considering that he must have hit it from passing out. "A place with no beer. No wonder there isn't any visitors. Alright. Let's just get Kimahri and head out." He looked at Yuna and saw that Kimahri was walking away. "Hey wait! Hold up!"

"Kimahri must go now."

"Well, before you leave I've gotta tell ya something. You are one of the great warriors summoned by Steve." (Dunt-Dunt-Daaa) Zidane paused to let the music finish. "The hoodlum, and I, Zidane, along with the rest of the group, must take you to him. You hear?" Kimahri's pace quickened. "Hey! What's the rush? Where in the light are you in a hurry to?"

"Kimahri must go to the great-" He stopped and made a square figure in the air with his two index figures.

"Huh?" Zidane stopped walking to figures out what he meant, while the Ronso walked off. Realizing the Ronso was gone in the distance, getting away. "W- wait!... Awww forget it." He decided to turn around and walk back to the fountain.

"Where did Kimahri go?" Yuna asked in wonder since the only thing Kimahri said to her was, _'it's' time for Kimahri to go._

"He said he had to go to some great-" Zidane made that same figure as Kimahri had made to him earlier.)

"What?" Yuna and the others looked confused.

"He had to go to the great-" And Zidane made the figure again. "And then he left." Zidane repeated, but most expressions didn't change.

"Oh! I love this game!" Garnet cheered. "Um a giant square, rectangle?"

"A cube, box, rock?" Tidus and Garnet called off many objects thinking it was a sherads game. Although Zidane kept shaking his head saying no. Yuna, of course being the only smart one, said. "The great-" And made the same figure as Kimahri and Zidane did. "Thing-a-migig."

"Yes! Except without the thing-a-migig." Zidane agreed.

"Well, wait till he comes back? This city is unhealthy to your conditions." Garnet spoke with concernity in her voice.

Zidane smiled to see that his girl knew him well. "Well just stay a few minutes until he comes back. WE lost two warriors already, and I don't intend to lose more."

So the group stood at the fountain for sometime.

"Great 50 minutes without a drink, what is this world coming to?"

"Hey look a flying bird." Tidus, bored out of his wits, said in amassment.

"Oooo, ooo were, were. Hunny bunny I want a flying bird. Pwease."

"No! Holy bloody ashes look at my hands, there shaking. I need a drink, now! Quick lets go."

"No, I bet Kimahri will be here any seconds."

"We have been here for 5 hours I don't think he's coming back."

"Wait, if we have been here fro 5 hours, how did you not have a drink for 50 minutes?" Tidus wondered.

"You don't know me very well do you? I always keep extra canteens of ale with me, but now I'm out. Duh. So Yuna let's go."

"O.k."

As they started to leave Garnet studied the list.

"Zidane, please can we go see Link now, please, please, please, please, please, please, pleeeeeeeeeeeease." Garnet made a pouty look with her puppy dog eyes.

"No!"

"Pulease."

"No!"

"I WANT TO GO, NOOOW!"

"…o…k…"


	21. Things get a little weird

So off the troupers went without Kimahri, but then again they still have a chance of getting the rest… maybe. They were on there way to Nortin when suddenly heard a loud scream. Sounded like a damsel in distress. Ya know, hero's have to save a beautiful, screaming, helpless, annoying, stubborn women at times. Anyways the scream was out of the way.

"Zidane you hear that? Sounds like a scream. I think someone is in trouble. We should help them." Garnet pleaded. Zidane shook his head, one day Garnet will become an Aeris. Maybe Shannon can give her a back bone. If not… Well the fait of Garnet would be the same as Aeris, but hey, gets her off his back. Nah that's mean… hehe.

"I don't wanna walk all the way there, I wanna beer!" He complained as he looked at the long road where the scream came.

"What, its only 5 steps in front of you."

"No. It's 1, 10, 6, 3, 5. Oh yeah…" They came to a huge rainbow colored village with giant gates that said,

Welcome with open hands to the Village of the Gaywads.

"Village of the Gaywads… Zidane what's a Gaywad?" Tidus asked puzzled.

"Aw, probably some race. You know like geonome, mages, 'dumb blondes'…"

"… Okay… Hey!"

"Be nice. Tidus is not dumb. I kind of like em dumb." Regina squeezed his arm.

"Wellllllllllcome. We enjoy visitors…" A middle aged man came up to them with a gayish-happy smile. "Ah, foreigners. We don't get too many of them's."

"Ahem… yes… hi…" Everyone was shocked and uncomfortable with the overly welcome.

"Everyone. We have visitors." The man walked the group in and announced them. All young and slightly middle aged men ran towards them.

"Look there's men… two men."

"Oh look, those women look like they know a lot about cosmetics."

"Hey…" Another guy looked at the guy who looked happy about the girls who looked a lot about cosmetics.

"Oh… I'm sorry. I'll still discuss cosmetics with you any day." They held hands as they skipped towards the girls. Soon garnet, Yuna and Regina were being sucked in conversations about Panther-pink-puppy-nail polish, and blue blossom eye shadow. Zidane and Tidus were left along with the overly-happy men.

"Yuna? Yuna….?" Tidus looked from guy to guy. "There's so many."

"Oh can't you be considerate of others? I finally found someone to talk about ribbons with. Oh that color matches your skin perfectly."

A guy game up to Zidane. "Well… I never met a man with a tail before. I think its kind of manly."

"Uhhh… Excuse me." Zidane pulled out his journal and started,

Today I'm in the Village of the Gaywads. The guys are hitting on me… That can't be good.

Zidane glanced at Tidus, he wasn't having much luck either. So helpless without Regina and Yuna.

"Wow. Are you a **real **blond? I wish I was a blond. I have this stupid bernet hair.

"Its not stupid." A guy stoked the other guys arm. "It's nice."

"Are you famous?"

"Y-yeah I'm a blitz ball… player."

"Oh, I totally love Blitz ball." As Zidane and Tidus dealt with awkward moments, and the girls talking about what girls talk about, there was another cream which obviously had to come from a man.

"Eek! Eek! I've been robbed!" Everyone ran to the guy who's been robbed and was still screaming. "She ran that way. That big meanie stole my Blue-ribbon apple pie! I worked so hard on it too!"

"We have no time for that, were on a very important mission."

"Zidane, come on we have to help." Garnet batted her eyes.

"Oh fine, if it will make this guy shut up. I better get some of the pie for this."

"Oh thank you. Say I guess pretty guys can be nice."

"Yeah whatever, lets go." Zidane ran ahead without the others, for the time being. Zidane ran and he ran and he ran until he tripped.

"Ohhh are you ok?" A mysterious voice came from above.

"Ummmmmmmmmm…. Yes."

"Oh good. NOW GET ME DOWN!" Zidane looked up were the little voice was coming from, and saw a small purple haired girl.

"Hey I know who you are wait, no, no, yes, no, yes, yes, no, yes, no, no, yes… no wait let me get out the list, you look a bit familiar. Hmmm no, no, no, no-yes here you are E-e-e-e-e-ecooo, Eco?"

"It's Eico you loser. Now get me down!"

"Fine." Zidane picked up the largest stick he could find, and started poking, beating, and wiping her with it, while he mumbled to himself. "Call me a loser, I'll get you down, beat you down, mumble mumble mumble."

"Owww, ow stop that!"

"Ow shut up, I'm trying to get you down. Ungrateful."

"Ow, ow stop, oh him down." Eico fixed her hair and cleared the dust off her top and pants. "Geez it doesn't take a guy that long…to…to…to." Speechless Eico looked deep into Zidane's eyes. "To… to… Your really pretty." Zidane swapped the stick at her, and started beating her with it, until the stick broke.

Hey! What are you doing I'm down."

"Man, you broke my stick."

"Why did you do that?"

"Oh, there was a bug on you (cough cough)."

"O.k. Hey what are you doing here anyway?"

"…my stick. Oh, why am I here? Hmmm why am I here?" Just then the rest of the team and Regina acme up. (Wow takes the long enough to get there.)

"Zidane get that pie for that man."

"Ohhh… hi Garnet."

"Eico? Eico!" Garnet ran over and squeezed her.

Eico pushed her away. Looked at Zidane and started swaying her arms. "So, why are you here… with her?" Eico glared at Garnet. Eico doesn't like Garnet because, well who doesn't?

"We're looking for warriors on this list." Tidus took it out an gave it to her. "You're on the list too."

"I AM! Oh, oh let me see! Hey, look, it's me." Eico jumped up and down. "Hey, Vivi's on here to. He's up there… You guys came from there… So where's Vivi?"

"Vivi? Um… You know that's a interesting story… uh…"

Garnet blurted out the answer because Zidane was taking to long. "Zidane killed him!" Surprisingly he sounded happy.

"N-no, I didn't! Tidus was carrying the bag!"

"The blonde killed Vivi! I knew Zidane, my handsome hunk, wouldn't do such a thing. Right, Zidane?" She looked up at him and flashed her eyelashes.

"U… yes! It's all Tidus' fault. You big friend killer. I need a drink." With that the group left to the closest inn, and Zidane went to the bar.


	22. Zidane gets another addiction?

Now who really cares about all the others, all we care about right now is Zidane. So there Zidane was drinking beer after beer, with a little wisky here and there.

"Barkeep need another."

"Geez I never saw a hot, sexy guy like you drink so much."

"You call this a lot? This is only about one hour, I'll stay here for about 5 to 6 hours minimum."

"Ohhh great then will have some time to… get to know each other more." He made a "friendly" wink at Zidane.

"Yea… ohhh why won't this get to my head?" This caught a guys attention who was smoking some kind of weed.

"Well, what your doing wont do much good. Ya gotta try some magic sticks." Obviously this guy wasn't from this town.

"Magic sticks. What's it called?"

"Magic sticks."

"No, I mean what's is it really called?"

"Oh, then it's Pepsi weed."

"Hmmm Pepsi weed…" Zidane put it up to his mouth and ate it. "M… mm (cough) g-good." Zidane made a sour face to show his dislike.

"No! You don't eat it!" The guy gave him another one.

"Oh, I get it now." Zidane put the Pepsi weed in his beer and (tsss). Then he started to drink it, however it didn't taste much better. "(choke) I think I need a new beer, never thought I would say that…"

"NO, you don't drink it, you smoke it. Like this…" The guy inhaled it and blew out smoke, then gave Zidane a joint. This time Zidane smoked it and ended up on the floor coughing out his lungs. "(chough, choke, gag, cuff, cough, spit) Blah… hmmm not bad." Two minutes later Garnet ran in for no particular reason at all.

"Zidane, where'd the chocobos go. I just figured out there gone," Ok there is a reason. She saw Zidane blew out a puff of smoke. "Zidane!" She gasped. "Gasp, you didn't introduce me to your friend."

"Friend… vwee hee hee." He chuckled as he spun around on his chair.

"Zidane?..."

"Teehee… Zidane… that's a funny name. Wait… that's my name. What a quinkydink." Zidane fell on the floor laughing hysterically.

"Zidane what's happened to you? Your smoking! How much has he had?"

"That's his first one."

"Zidane." Garnet put her fist on her hips and gave him a flat stare as he stood up and poked her.

"Heeheehee… poke, heeheehee…. poke, heeheehee… poke."

"Zidane, we need to get you some help some with me." She left he bar with Zidane… still laughing hysterically.

"Thuwa hee, hee… muwywy."

Garnet and Zidane were sitting inside one of those get-help-clinics and were sitting down in the little groups.

"Wellllllllllcome everybody. We know that you have, but were her to help. NOW, what is your name?"

"My name is… Phil… I like drugs…"

"Everybody say hi Phil."

"Hi Phil!"

"Zidane, you didn't say hi." Whined Garnet.

"I donna wanna to." Surprisingly the weed only had a 5 minute Sid affect.

"Look's like we have a party pooper. What's your name?" The therapist put his hand on Zidane's knee.

"Uh… Tony!"

"Zidane!" Garnet glared at him.

"Zidane…"

"Okay, Zidane. What's your problem?"

"I don't have a problem. You're the one with the problem. You Gaywad, and get your hand off me knee."

"Actually, I'm Gaylord, the lord of all the Gaywads. Now what's your problem?"

"I said I don't have a problem." Zidane made a fist.

"Zidane, you're in denial. Now, admit you're a druggy and a alcoholic."

"Fine… I'm a alcoholic, but not a druggy."

"Zidane…"

"And a druggy…"

"Goood." He put on a big gayish smile. "Let's just see how much of an alcoholic you are." The man toke out a huge medication syringe thing. And jabbed it in Zidane's arm.

"Owww what the fffk!"

"Ohhh, its ok." The Gaylord rubbed Zidane cheek.

"O.k.? O.k.! It went through my arm!" Zidane held up his arm still with the syringe in it.

"Ohhh, pore baby." Garnet hugged Zidane.

"Owww!"

"If you don't mind to stay after class when were done Zidane I can help you." The man smiled and started with the next guy. "So what's you name?"

"Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony. Heeheehee." The man was hyper and he was shaking.

After class…

"Hellooo Zidane."

"Yeah." Zidane stepped a couple steps back.

"We have a great, treatment for people like you!"

"People like me?"

"Alcoholics, and druggy."

"Ohhh."

"Just step in here." The man lead Zidane to a machine filled room, with Garnet fallowing and looking at all the shiny things. Strapped him down and the help began. And no nothing is going to happen!

"So what does this do?"

"Well, talking therapy doesn't help that well and it takes to long. So we are going to take all meanings of alcohol and drugs out."

"What! No! Nooo!

After a little bit, Zidane walked out limping, "from the treatment with the machine."

"Mr. Gaylord. Thanks fro all the help."

"Your welcome, but Zidane will not be able to drink, or eat anything for 3 days. And he should rest he will be a little sore for now."

"A little? What 3 days!"

"Ohhh Zidane baby. Thank Mr. Gaylord."

"No."

"Well I can always take out the meaning of women."

"No! Thanks. Bye!" Zidane grabbed Garnet and ran out.


	23. Now why are they still here

Zidane ran to the inn, were everyone was eating turkey sandwiches. Now Zidane didn't eat anything since Shannon's so you would think he's craving some turkey right now.

"Hi guys! Were back." Garnet yelled in her high squeaky voice.

"Zidane. What happened?"

"What happened? What happened! This is what happened!" Zidane toke off the giant band aide that was covering up the syringe mark and showed Tidus

"Wow… So what happened?"

"Ahhh! I need to eat something." Zidane tried grabbing the turkey sandwich out of Tidus' hands.

"Zidane!" For once Garnet didn't talk in her high annoying voice, she glared with her hands on her hips, talking in a mad, low voice.

"But I'm huuungryyya." Zidane whined trying to get a tear in his eye.

"Ohhh, I guess one sandwich wont hurt, but then again the Doctor said, but he really wasn't a doctor, but how can I resist that face, but…" As Garnet was thinking to herself whether or not she should give Zidane a sandwich, he took one anyway and took 2 bits and BAAM, gone.

"Mmmm… turkey sandwich."

So lalala they ate, they spent the night, and left those freaky weird Gaywads. Well what do you expect I don't feel like going into detail, but before they left the Gaylord came up to Zidane to tell him something.

"Excuse me! Zidane"

"Ohhh great, I mean, hello mister Gaylord." Zidane said trying to put a smug face on.

"Ohhh good you didn't leave yet."

"Well if you hurry up we can."

"I forgot the treatment will only stay temporary unless you take one pile a day."

"Seems easy enough were are they?"

"Hold on," The Gaylord called out for a truck lad of giant pills. "All you have to do is take one a day, for the rest of your life."

"O…k… May I remind you what torture you put me through?" Zidane pointed out his giant hole, still going threw his arm, sworn never to heal.

"Well sorry about that."

"Sorry? Sure you are."

"Man, how is he suppose to take that thing?" Tidus said out of the blue.

"Well you simply take some water and swallow it just like a capsule. Hey your kind of cute."

"But how can I take it if I'm not suppose to have water or food?"

"Yes very true absolutely no water or food."

"But how am I going to take these?"

"Water."

"But you said no water."

"Yes like I said no water.'

"Then how do I take it?"

"Water."

"Ahhh! Forget it."

"I hope I've helped you in your future."

'Sure whatever."

"Hey, Zidane where's Regina there seems to be no one on my arm." Yuna glared, huffed and went back at the fingering a gold thing. And if your wondering she's been fingering it for a long time I just got tired from telling you. Then she turned and walked away.

"Yuna!"

"Can't we get going, Regina does noting but whine anyway."

"No, we need to get Rikku."

"We don't need to, she did nothing ether."

"Well very true, lets split up and search for Yuna and Regina. I will go with Garnet to find Regina and you and what's her face,"

"Eiko!" She jumped up and down trying to get some attention.

"Yeah Eiko and you find Yuna."

"But Tidus you have to make things right with Yuna and have a strong relationship like me and Zidane." Garnet pinched Zidane's cheek.

"Strong? I would hate to see what weak would be like."


	24. Gone but not forgotten

Boy am I sick of writing about the Gaywads, so I will just fast-forward 

Ok 5 minutes later. Zidane and Eiko were walking.

"You have pretty eyes."

"Yeah thanks."

"There so sparkly."

"Yeah."

"You-"

"Hey Eiko before you finish that sentence do you mind?"

"Mind what?"

"My space I need it. I have over 200 women all around the world, even though more wouldn't hurt, but the point is none of them are 6."

"So I will stand out from the rest."

"That's true, but not the point. I'm 16, if I'm wrong there's a bit of a difference there."

"O.k. I understand." She looked down in depression rocking back and forth.

"Thanx. Friends?"

"O.k. Friends for now."

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Boy that was close."

"What was close?"

"Ummm, hey isn't that Regina over there?"

"Yeah?" They walked over to Regina, who was hitting on some Gaywads. "Regina, what are you doing?"

"I meet some studs here. Aren't they cute."

"Yeah sure."

"Oww he called me cute."

"No he said I'm cute."

"Yeah whatever I have girlfriends."

"Ohhh…"

"Regina, there gay." Zidane whispered.

"They are?"

"Yes."

"Ewww! I kissed them."

"What do you think Phil will think when I tell him I kissed a girl?"

"Quick lets get out of here."

Meanwhile Garnet and Tidus…

"Lalala."

"Could you quite that! No wonder Zidane doesn't like you."

"What ?"

"Nothing."

"I don't know what your talking about, Zidane loves me."

"Mmmmhmmm. Hey that's Yuna second bottom bead off her right sleeve!"

"…" Garnet stared at him with her mouth dropping to the floor.

"What? Boy friends got to know these important things." Ganret still looked at him. "Fine if your to be no help, then I'll just ask that lady over there." Tidus and Garnet walked over to a lady at the, wait why is there a lady here? Owww well, so whey walked over to the lady doing something, that really wasn't important.

"Yes may I help you?" The lady sounded really bored.

"Yes, were looking for this women." Tidus held up a picture of Yuna. Garnet stared at him again. "What? A boy friend can't have a picture of his girlfriend?"

"Hmmm." The lady examined it. "Yes, she just bought a ticket to Vexun. About 5 minutes ago."

"Hmmm, Vexun? That sounds familiar." Tidus got out the list. "Hmmm, its here somewhere… Here! Wait Seymour's there. that gay, gwado, witch with a b."

"Who's he?"

"Long story."

"Ooo I love long stories. Tell me tell me tell me."

"Well, he like Yuna, before we defeated Sin. He wanted to use her powers to make him the new Sin, he asked her to marry him, she figures out he was evil, she played to marry him, so she could summon him, we came to save her, he saw what she was up to, threaten to kill us if she didn't marry him, so she had to marry him against her will."

"Uhhh that's cute, wait she got married and I wasn't invited? How rude."

Tidus and Garnet went back to tell the others about the… depressing news.

"Ahg! Now we have to go their?" Zidane groaned once he heard.

"Zidane, I want to go see Northin. I want to see Zelda and Link." Zidane glared at Garnets whininess.

Zidane sighed and thought. "Donna wanna go 'all' the ay over there." He heard the sound of a train and put on a satisfied smile. "Fine. I want to take a train and Tidus, your paying for luxury."

"But Yuna-" Zidane cut him off before he could start.

"If you car about her so much, why do you ignore her? She wouldn't leave if you wouldn't have ignored her." Zidane tried telling this to him trying to avoid listening to Garnet. She was talking about stuff no one would be listening to.

As they were paying for their tickets, the booth girl was denser then Rikku, and was ticking Zidane off.

"What do you mean! I need 5 tickets to Northin!"

The red-head girl looked and smiled at him. "Yes. Umm… I'm sorry, we only have 3 tickets left."

"Since when do you need individual tickets for a train! We only need one cabin!"

"Perhaps you'll like to go to Vexun? We have enough tickets for that"

"Yes!"

"Shut-up Tidus." Zidane turned hi attention back to this annoyance. "We are NOT going to Vexun. Were going to Northin."

"Okay, the 3 tickets would be 220gil."

"No, no. We need 5 tickets!"

"Oh, I'm sorry we only have 3."

"Fine. Well take the next train. When is it?"

"Oh… We have to sell the 3 tickets before we have another train."

"Guess we have to split the group up. If we buy the 3 tickets, when will the next train leave?"

"This is the last train for the year."

Garnet stepped in before Zidane lost his temper as started to hurt anyone." Allow me. Look I want **3** tickets for **5** passengers to Northin!"

"I can only allow 1 ticket to one passenger each."

"I am Princess Garnet Alexandrios and I demand a train ride to Northin for 5 passengers. Now, if you don't cooperate I'll have you arrested, beaten and tortured for the rest of your sick, miserable life, and die a painful death. Am I clear!"

"…Y-Yes… here." The girls hands shook as she handed Garnet the tickets.

Garnet put on a satisfied smile. "Thank you." She turned around to find Zidane and Tidus gaping at her with their mouths wide open. "Shannon said using my title would give me more of a advantage." She smiled again a lead the way to the rain entrance.


	25. Meeting up with an old friend

On the train, Garnet was singing, Regina was flirting with Tidus and Eico was staring at Zidane. Not much was happening on the train, Zidane was still on shock of how Garnet acted earlier, and Tidus was depresses about Yuna, and yet continued to listen to Regina.

After a while, Tidus glanced out the window and shouted to Zidane. "hey Zidane, where crossing the ocean!"

"…We've been crossing it for 5 hours… and you just realized that now?" Zidane gave Tidus a flat stare.

"Um… no, no. Of course not. Hee, I just decided to say it now." Tidus faced turned red from embarrassment and hoped no one would notice.

Garnet became distracted from her singing and joined the conversation. "You sounded pretty surprised, when you said it. Ohhh! Zidany, look, dolphins! Aren't they pwetty." Once again Garnet became absorbed in the window and started to sing again.

Wanting to know what's so special about 'dolphins' Tidus didn't know what a dolphin is because he wasn't educated like Garnet, and plus he's a dumb blind and looked out the window. They were blue magnificent creatures, which jumped from the surface of the sea. They had a stunning blue, delicate tails, swift moves and razor sharp teeth crusted in dry blood. Tidus backed away from the window when it seemed the dolphin was growling at him.

Suddenly-after a few hours of boredom- the train stopped. Tidus looked out the window. He noticed the train stopped in a train station- a destroyed one. There was a charred sign that had letters remaining so people could tell that it said:

City of Northin

There were sounds of creaming and explosions that made the group hustle out of the train.

The group searched to see what was causing all the chaos. As they turned around they saw a dark figure. When they got close the person in black was… Link! Tidus, Zidane and Garnet gasped.

"Link sexy baby!" Regina ran and gave Link a hug. "Everyone this is Link, Linkity, Link, Lincon, Link, Links, Link, Linkus, Link, Linkady, Link, Linkavage… Link, my husband."

"Your husband! Your MARRIED!" Tidus began to feel light headed and dizzy.

"Hints the word 'husband' genius." Eico put her fists on her hips. "hey, would that make you Regina, Linkity, Link, Lincon, Link, Links, Link, Linkus, Link, Linkady, Link, Linkavage… Link?"

"No just Regina." Eico put on a sour face, remembering that whole name for nothing.

"Ah, my friends." Link welcomed them. "How was your journey? Please, come to my 'other' place and lets talk." Link lead them to a black, evil, threatening castle. It was made of tainted black stone, darker then the inside of a coffin on a night of a new moon. Giant, hideous, red eyed gargoyles watched as the group entered in.

Garnet clung to Zidane when she thought one of the flame eyes looked at her. "Zidane, this place is creepy… I'm scared."

Zidane gave an annoyed sigh, knowing he has to comfort her. "Relax, his designer was probably Shannon."

"Ohhh." Garnet sounded more confident in herself. "It dose look like Shannon's work."

Inside of the castle here was pink draped and dark green carpet. The group was stunned as they saw the mismatched colors. There was cute little flower patterns on the lovely drapes, yet the carpet had the word 'EVIL' written on its. The travelers came to a conclusion that Link has bad taste when it comes to decorating.

"This is most, defiantly Shannon's work." Zidane started to joke.

"Link! I told you the curtains should match the carpeting." Regina screamed. Her eyes were widened by the horrible sight.

"I didn't get a chance to change the curtains."

Garnet looked around in wonder. "Why change the drapes? It's the carpeting that needs improving. Where's Zelda?"

"She's… um… in the shower."

"Don't you go changing the subject." Regina whacked her figure at Link as she continued to yell at him. "This is not what I said I wanted! This is so not me."

"Fine I'll change the drapes tomorrow."

"No, change the carpet." Garnet yelled.

Regina turned her attention to Garnet. "I don't want pink flowers. Pink is such a uncool color."

"Well, I like pink and so does Zelda. Where's Zelda now?"

"She's… um… shopping."

"Oh, okay… Wasn't she in the shower a moment go?"

"No. Regina go bring some drinks."

They all sat down in the conference room talking about what happened and so on. Every once and awhile, Garnet asked where Zelda was and Link came up with something different every time.

After sometime, Tidus mentioned the quest for the warriors. "Link we need you to come with us."

Before Link could respond, Regina started talking about something that she obviously put some thought into. "I like blue." Then Link and Regina started to have a conversation which appears to make sense to them.

"Blue?"

"Yes blue is a nice color and it's go perfect with the cabinets."

"But blue is so common."

"yes, but it's the only one that would light it up."

Link finally agreed and walked towards the door. After a few paces he remembered his guests and turned around. "Uh, excuse me. I have to get something. I'll let you guys stay for the night." There was a flash off evil red in his eye and he gave an insanity chuckle. "Vweeveehee." Link left eh room.

"Do you think he's up to something?" Eico asked after Regina took their empty cups and went to stack them in the kitchen, there was a huge pile of dishes because Regina doesn't know how to wash and Links a guy (in the strait guys world; men don't do women's work).

Tidus started blankly. "He didn't answer my question…"

The next morning the group was offered some whine and rich food for breakfast. "My favorite is the 'French wine'." Link commented as they all sat and had a friendly shat.

"I don't believe I ever had 'French wine'." Garnet took a sip out of her glass.

"All wine is French! Geez." Eico scowled at the others. She was too young to drink. There '**is**' a drinking law. Believe it or not, no one can drink until there 10. It lessons the chaos in the world. Children younger then 10 are to dumb to rebel.

A servant came in and talked to Link about some kind of deal. "Pardon, master, but someone destroyed the PW (Pepsi weed) Factory in Finlish."

Link growled, grabbed his sword and killed him. "Heowhaahaahaauma!" Link laughed hysterically. Everyone gasped in horror and confusion.

"You killed him!" Garnet squeaked and covered her mouth.

Link stopped laughing and looked at the corpse. "… ahem, no I didn't… I didn't do it."

"You stabbed him with your sword." Tidus pointed to the bloody, black sword.

Link looked at the sword in his hand and then hid it behind his back. "What sword?... I don't have a sword." When the group didn't say anything, Link called for another servant. "Arrest who ever exploded my factory in Finlish."

Zidane was finally fed up with not knowing what was going on and off course Zidane wants to know everything. "Okay, what the hell is going on here?"

Link smiled. "I'll answer any questions you have as long as it's specific enough."

"Wait, what about Zelda?" Garnet had so much hope in seeing her again.

"I killed her. I can't remember why or when, but I think it was after I went insane and before I turned into Dark Link."

Garnets eyes filled with tears. "Y… you killed her?" Then a unpredictable, unexpected, unfunny event happened. Garnet unsheathed Zidane's dagger and attacked Dark Link. She diced him into many pieces because the Hyrulian was unprepared for Garnets rage.

When she was done, the Princess picked a pink flower and smelled it. It took a couple of moment to realize what she did. Then she broke out in tears. "What have I done? I'm a monster! Zidane, I killed the pretty pink flower!" Garnet ran to Zidane and cried on his shoulder.

"Uh, that's … alright. It'll grow back next spring."

"It's not the same." Eico and Garnet went to bury the flower, while Zidane and Tidus dealt with Regina and her corpse of a husband.

"Oh my GOD! I'm going to sue you!" She pulled out some papers out of nowhere and started to calculate some math. "You owe me 2,000,001 gi- OW!" Apparently she cut herself on the sharp, deadly, razor, evil, dangerous edge of a piece of paper. "Hu- Oh no, I'm bleeding. I need a band-aid, I need a band-aid. I swear I cant see blood. I faint at the sight of blood. I-I…" After hyperventilating Regina fainted.

"Well… Lets say we move on the other next warrior, shall we?" The four of them then continued their journey.


	26. Don't be dumb and lose your money

The train was still at the destroyed station where it came to a sudden stop. The conductor just finished clearing the tracks. All the passengers were getting on with annoyed looks because the stop was unpleasant an half the people spilled their hot coffee… presuming on there laps.

"Look, Zidane! Let's take the train again!" Garnet jumped up and down. "Please?"

Tidus put on a grim look. "I don't like trains…"

"Pwetty, pwetty, pwease?" Garnet begged as some guy in the background wearing a black coat came up to them.

In his deep, raged voice he said. "Take these tickets and go." He handed them 4 tickets for Mulanu. Zidane looked disappointed at the tickets.

"Ah… I don't want to go there." He moaned when the man walked away. "then again, there free."

So off they went to Mulanu, the biggest gambling city ever built, ran and still running. There was a big, flashing, bright light. Thousands of games people can play. The race tracks were set up everywhere. Then there was a biding room too.

Garnet's and Eiko's eyes widened too see such pretty flashing colors. Zidane's and Tidus' eyes widened to see the gambling and drinking areas. They split up into 2 groups and went off to have fun.

Garnet dragged Eiko to a flashing color sign that said:

Manicure, Inn, Spa.

Garnet went up to the counter and asked a girl with ling dark hair. "How much for one day?"

The lady at the counter looked at her with disgust. "I don't believe you can afford it… miss." She turned to her computer and started to type. "Besides, we only take reservations."

"Ohhh…" Garnet's eyes dropped to the floor. She started to walk away slowly, but Eiko pulled her back.

"How do you know we don't have enough money? I demand to amount and a reservation." Eiko plopped her fist on her hips and scowled at the women.

"Okay, maybe you can possibly afford one day for a person, but you're not the kind our people like to do business with. Now, the exit is right behind you. Perhaps, you may be accepted at eh slums spa. I heard they at least keep the rats out of the sewage they use for bathing."

Feeling insulted by the snob, Eiko had a hard time controlling her temper. When Eiko was just about to say a come back, Garnet dragged her out.

After going around the corner, Garnet turned to Eiko. "Verbal arguments don't solve anything. You have to use physical damage to get back." Eiko agreed, and the two of them thought of a plan.

Zidane and Tidus were at a casino, drinking and loosing a ton of money. Well, Zidane's loosing his money and Tidus is being hit on by hookers.

Slumped a the bar and being pathetic over the fact that Yuna's with Seymour and Regina was married. He complained to Eama and Larsela (hookers) while he drank bottle after bottle. "She's my fiancé.. the only girl who decided to stick with me. I mean I don't get girls on me that often, but why do they do it when they know I am engaged?"

"Oh, don't feel bad, dar-ling." Eama spoke with a demented accent, a and she wore more make-up them Larsela. Her black hair spilled over her shoulders as she looked at Tidus. "I have respect for you. How about we go up to the rooms 'nd since your' down Ill only charge ya half?"

Larsela smacked Eama. "Oh, com'on." She turned to Tidus. "Come with me instead, she's not that good anyways."

"What you mean isn't good? You're a slut!" Tidus wasn't paying any attention to the Ho fight, he simply sat there looking so depressed.

After awhile Zidane cam over because her was out of money and needed more. "Hey, Tidus, your not going to gamble, so give me about 200gil. Okay?" Zidane waited impatiently, yet was being entertained by the cat fight the was still going on.

Tidus checked his pockets, but found nothing, except the list. "I-I don't have anymore either. I guess I spent it all on drinks."

Zidane slapped his hand against his face in irritation. "What are you trying to do? Be a Zidane-wanna-be! (Irritated sigh) fine lets find Garnet and Eiko. They should have some money. I'm 150,000 gil away from being the person who lost the most money here."

Tidus made a questionable look. "Isn't the point of gambling is winning money?"

"Yeah, yeah but loosing is the only talent I have." Zidane paused for a moment. "… Speaking of talent, maybe I could steal money… from the casino."

"Then what's the point to give it back?"

"So I can be the person who lost the most money. Geez don't you pay attention?"

Outside, chaos was everywhere, people were running one direction. Sirens were going off and people were screaming. "No! Not my daily Spa!" Giant flames flew to what was probably left of the spa.

"Hmmm… Wonder what happened?" Tidus wondered. "You think it was done on purpose? That's a pretty suspicious flame."

"Naw. Nothing every happens on purpose anymore. There's too many nice and gullible people like Yuna and Garnet out there."

They walked to the biggest building and the most attention-drawing activity in the city. The Chocobo races.

Garnet and Eiko were giggling away until they saw Tidus and Zidane. Then they looked at each other, cleared there thoughts and smiled.

"There you guys are. Hey do you know what hap-" Garnet cut Tidus off like a knife and spoke in a fast, unsteady tone.

"N-no, we don't know anything about the explosion with the spa. We didn't even hear anything about the people who set up the plastic bombs in the core of the building- I mean there w-was no people, It was a accident. No-it wasn't an accident, well we don't know if it was or not… hee hee."

Tidus and Zidane nodded in satisfaction, but then again guys don't listen to anything what women say. Zidane went to the topic of why they were there.

"Do you have any money?"

"We only have 100gil left."

"That's it? Oh well. We should probably get going before we spend it and end up broke."

Garnets attention went to the Chocobos who were lining up to race. "Look, racing Chocobos. Lets bet."

"No, no, no we need that-" However Garnet already ran off before Zidane could finish the sentence. "… to continue." Zidane gave up and went to catch up to Garnet, who already looked lost.

"Zidane, where do we place the bets?" Zidane looked around and found a person standing by some Chocobos. She looked like the one who was collecting bets.

The group walked over to her and Zidane asked. "Excuse me, are you taking bets?" The women turned to them and.

"Bawk!" Her answer was… awkward.

"W-what was that?"

"Bawk!"

The journeyers were getting a bit confused and decided to walk away. "Second thought, well go ask someone else."

The women spoke up when they turned their backs. "No, don't go! I get so lonely…"

They stopped, and looked to her direction. "Did you say something intelligent?"

"Bawk!"

"Thought so."

"Wait, wait. I take bets here give me your money."

"Hmmm… much better." Zidane took a good look at eh Chocobos and then placed his bet. "100gil for number 5."

"No!" Eiko jumped up and down. "Place it on number 9! Number 9!"

"No number 5."

"Lets make a deal." Eiko said, trying to negotiate. "50gil on 9 and 50gil on 5. If mine wins, I get to date you. If you win you get to date me."

"Deal. Wait! No, if I win we use the money to buy me a drink and you can't talk to me for the rest of the trip."

"Fine…" They placed their bets and sat down to watch.

The gun went off, the gates opened, the Chocobos ran around the racing ring. It switched off from 9 to 5 in first place. 5 was kicking 9 and 9 was biting 5. It was a close race to see which one of them was going to win.

Zidane and Eiko were cheering for their Chocobos as loud as they could. The outcome of losing, terrified them both. The race was almost over with 9 and 5 both in the lead.

Suddenly, not more then spaces away from the finish line, did both Chocobos dropped dead for a heart attack. The crowd gasped as number 7 crossed the finish line.

After the race, Zidane went to complain that the race was rigged. As he and the others where looking for the manager, Zidane bumped into a guy with a abnormal style of hair. "Hey, watch where yer going, I just mopped there."

"Well, I guess you gotta mop it again." Zidane said acidly. He was not in the greatest mood, knowing he had no money to buy a drink.

"Hell, I'm not!" The guy may have extremely tall hair, but her had big arms to. However, Zidane was to blind to back away from a fight.

"What ya better back off before I beat you with that mop of yours. Get out of my way now, moose boy."

"Lets see you try, money tail."

Zidane growled as the name monkey hit him. "Don't call me monkey! Gel head!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah." Tidus interrupted them just before they were about to throw punches. "Hey, look Zidane, Mulanu is on the list. I thought this place sounded familiar. Hmmm… Were suppose to find Cloud. What a dumb name."

"It won't be so dumb once I get done with you." Everyone gasped that the guy with the hair was Cloud.

Tidus backed away. "… I… um… was talking about a … different Cloud."

"Shout up Tidus. Do we have to take this moron with us?" Zidane groaned.

"What do you mean take me with you?"

Garnet explained the situation about Rikku and the Hoodlum. Cloud stood silent thinking and processing the information. "So, will you come with us?"

Cloud sighed. "I guess, maybe, I don't know I'll have to think about it for.-" A big guy called from the back.

"Cloud! I told you to butcher those dead birds and clean the manure out of those stalls!"

"Okay, I thought about it and I decided to go."

On their way, out of the city, Zidane remembered they had no money and. "Hey Cloud, how much you have on ya?"

"I have 13000, why?"

"No reason let me hang on to that, just in case."

There was sirens starting and getting closer every second. Soon there were knights on horses coming straight towards the group. They jumped off and one guy said. "There he is." He pointed to Cloud and started to arrest him.

"Wait, what's going on?" Cloud tried to struggle out of their grip.

"You are under arrest for killing Aeris, destroying the PW factory in Finlish, and exploding the Spa."

"But, but I didn't do it! I haven't seen Aeris in years! I haven't even been to Finlish."

"Oh really?" One of the guys pulled a joint from Cloud's pocket. "What's this then?"

"I-its not mine, I swear!"

"Sure, that's what they all say." Cloud yelled as he was being dragged away.

"I'm been set up! I didn't do it! I have an alibi. An, alibi!"

Garnet felt sorry for him. "There goes another one."


	27. So whos lucky number one?

"Geez are we ever going to get more than 1 or 2 warriors? I lost count." Tidus started to get frustrated and started to yank on his hair.

"You lost count? Your hopeless Tidus."

"I'm not hopeless, I just can't count." Tidus looked down in depression.

"He he. I can." Zidane bragged.

"No you can't remember? And I quote (Oh I don't want to walk all the way over there… 1, 10, 6, 3, 5.) End of quote."

"Grrr." Zidane started to clinch his hands into fists.

"Guys were not going to get anywhere if we argue." Garnet put her hands on her hips, and pointed her figure at them.

"Yeah, so lets stand up straight, and Zidane and I can go on a date." Eiko jumped up and down, being so desperate.

"Hey! No Eiko you lost, and unfortunately I lost… Hey that's one more for the losing side. I'm on a role."

"Well its already dark. Do you want to go or stay a night? I prefer we go."

"Shut up Tidus, let the leader decide… wait I'm the leader, he he what do ya know."

While Zidane was thinking 'yeah I'm a leader what should I do' Shannon came out of nowhere with a parade of people following her, and carrying her, because she was to lazy to walk.

"Shannon?" The group walked up closer to the parade.

"Who's she?" Eico asked as she lifted an eyebrow at Shannon. And just then Shannon stopped.

"Who said that? Who doesn't know greatness when they see it?" Zidane quickly pointed to Eiko.

"Her! Her, her, her, her!"

"You don't know who I am?"

"No. Should I?" Eiko looked away and pointed her nose in the air.

"Ohhh well ummm, I'm Shannon." Shannon flipped her hair.

"So."

"So! So? I am ruler of all cities and towns, the most beautiful thing in the world. Now bow down before me!" Shannon jumped off the pillow everyone was carrying her on and pointed to the ground signaling that she wanted her to bow down.

"No."

"You dare refuse my demands?"

"I'm not allowed to bow down to strangers and besides your to narcissistic." Eiko danced around pretending to be like Shannon. "Ooo look at me I'm so beautiful, blah blah blah."

"I'm **not** narcissis-" Just then Shannon saw a mirror, ran up to it and looked at herself, complementing many things about her qualities. "Ohhh look how beautiful I am." Spinning and dancing Shannon looked at herself, when suddenly the mirror broke. "What it broke? It can't brake. I'm beautiful, wonderful Shannon." Shannon started to cry. "Ohhh I lost my beauty, but I can't, but the mirror never lied, mirror how could you betray me?" Just then a man ran up to the shattered pieces of the mirror.

"Uhhh, I… dropped my hammer." He picked it up and went back into the crowd.

"So, I'm not ugly it was just a hammer? Yeay!" Shannon danced around more and fluffed her hair and other things that she does. "Oh and by the way you will get 10 years of bad luck. 7 for breaking a mirror, and 3 more for braking a mirror that I was looking at." Shannon then went back to dancing.

"Hey Shannon what are you doing here?"

"La, la, la, ohhh I'm here to decide who is the hottest guy in the town is. That's my job, well at least one of them."

"So what happens to the one who wins?"

"He is declared the cutest guy in the village."

"That's it? No money, jewels, prizes?"

"Nope."

"Damn! I could of really used that money to go on my losing streak again." Zidane kicked the dirt up.

"Who would say you would win?"

"Well me, and me, and me, maybe you, and me, because look how incredibly hot I am, or cute or whatever word you used."

"Well, only the people who work, live or visit on a daily basis is aloud to join the contest."

"Damn it!" Zidane kicked a bog stone and stubbed his toe. "Damn again!"

"Well you guys can watch/"

"Woohoo watch, oh I always wanted to watch a contest." Zidane said sarcastically.

"Well bye." Shannon went back on the pillow and went away.

"Well let's rest for the night. We will go in the morning."

While they all were sleeping Shannon's contest was going on.

"O.k. next!" Shannon yelled impassionedly.

"Uhhh…" A tall brown haired man walked up.

"Speak up!" Shannon tapped her foot.

"Uhhh, hi."

"That's it, all these guys are scrawny, and no six packs and guns? How do you expect me to chose a guy if he doesn't have a six pack and guns? I just love a guy with six pack and guns. (Sigh) Huuu. Next!"

"Uhhh, hi, I'm Joe and I have a six pack and guns." The slightly flabby man held up a six pack of beer and little pistols.

"Ohhh yes that's exactly what I find in a man, all he does is sit down drinking and when I'm in danger what does he do shots enemies with a pistol." Shannon said sarcastically.

"Uhhh, hi."

"NEXT!"


	28. The rest goes down the drain

The next morning Garnet woke up and found out everyone was gone.

"What did they leave? They went without me? Ohhh noooooo!" Garnet ran around the room flailing her arms and screeching.

"What's going on in here?" Tidus walked in with blood shoot eyes and a pounding head ache.

"Ohhh I'm not alone!"

"Do you have to yell so loud?"

"Yes." Garnet stopped and pointed out that she had to yell. "So where's everybody else?"

"I think Eiko is out by the docks and I don't know where Zidane is."

"Oh ok. I'll just look for them."

"No that's ok I'll look for Zidane, you just go get Eiko."

"O.k." Garnet slipped out the door singing. "La la la la la…"

Tidus walked around wondering where to look. He walked and walked and walked, had a quick refreshment, and walked some more.

"Rhrrr, I looked everywhere where is he? Ohhh I give up. He'll come back when he's ready." Just then he heard a moaning noise from tan alley, he went to go see what it was. "Zidane?"

"Ohh my head."

"What happened the barkeep threw you out, because you wanted another beer, but they were out?"

"No, ow I was beaten up and they took all my money."

"But you don't have any money."

"Ohhh I took yours." Wait what weren't they broke a little while ago? Oh well they have money now, but now its stolen so there back to having none.

"What?"

"I took Garnets, but I lost it all so, I came back and took yours."

"You want another black eyes to match?"

"I was going to give it back."

"When?"

"When I got it."

"Rrrr, I was going to use that to buy a present for Yuna."

"Well its not my fault. You should watch over your money more carfully."

"Yes its is you took my money, making it your fault."

"Well crying isn't going to make it better."

"Whatever man, lets just go back."

"Hello, laying on ground after getting beaten up, could use some help."

"Do it yourself."

"If I could get up and walk I would of done it 10 minutes ago."

When Tidus and Zidane got back from well you know, Garnet and Eiko were already there discussing the many flaws of Zidane.

"Yeah, and there's also that other thing-Ohhh snuggly buggly boo your back, I was so worried." Garnet gave him the sweetest eyes she could give."

"Hey Zidane she doesn't seem to notice the cuts and bruises."

"Ohhh Zidane what happened?" Eiko ran over too hug him.

"Hey that's hurts."

"Ohhh, Zidane you got a hair cut."

"Not quite, think harder." Garnet went back to thinking, not doing much good, because she can't think anyway.

"Don't hurt yourself." Eiko murmured out load.

"I think we should get going now I want to see Yuna!" Tidus started crying.

"Fine lets if it will shut you up!"

The team started to leave, when suddenly…

"Hey there he is, that guy who stole my money." Tidus coughed. "Ummm I mean your money. Lets get him!" Zidane and Tidus ran after the tall blond with a trench coat. Eiko tried to fallow, but fell along the way, and Garnet was still trying to think what was different about Zidane. Zidane and Tidus tackled them man down in the alley way. "O.k. now give me my money."

"Money?" The man had a red scar slashing across his face. "Ohhh yeah that was your money. Next time be more careful."

"You should not taken it, and maybe I would have been more careful you never know."

"Zidane."

"Not now Tidus."

"But Zidane."

"What? I'm trying to get my, I mean your money back."

"Well you might want to look behind us."

"What!" Zidane looked back and found out the blond man had friends, two friends one had a eye patch and platinum hair and the other was dark skinned whapping a stick in his hand. "Uhhh, hi." The blond guy took out his Gunlade and slashed Zidane's tail- not chop it off just a scratch. "My tail! It's my chick magnet. Your going to pay." Just then Garnet and Eiko came along.

"Oooo, I know you, aren't you that guy who won the contest last night?"

"You know this thief?"

"Who wouldn't? There's giant posters everywhere of I'm, for being the cutest guy here."

"Owww, well that's no excuse for stealing my money and cutting my tail."

"I was only giving orders."

"From who?"

"The great Shannon of Course."

"But, Shannon's my friend and she would never-"

"But she did." Just then Shannon came along.

"Seifier?"

"Yes your most beautifulness?"

"Seifier? Ohhh yes I heard of you. You never graduated from being a SeeD."

"Shut up blonde."

"Hey your blond to"

"Are you still talking?" Tidus started to cry, which was pretty quick because Seifier can make you cry with the weakest insult.

"So why did you steal my money?"

"I told you, don't you listen?"

"What?"

"I'm getting this money for the great Shannon."

"For what?"

"Does there have to be a reason?"

"Yeees."

"Well, there doesn't in this matter."

"Seifier, I'll tell them just to shut them up. I need this money for a very important reason."

"And that is?"

Shannon bowed her head and whispered. "Prom."

"What?"

"Prom! You idiot."

"But aren't you rich?"

"And not to say older I mean prom, I cant believe this world is being rolled by a high school student." Shannon slapped Tidus in the back of the head.

"Well I was, but ever since Kuja disappeared I have been broke."

"So, your saying you get all your money from Kuja? Your not the rich one?" Zidane's mouth dropped.

"No, but in this chapter yes." Shannon sighed sadly. "But If any of my worshipers new that I would be screwed.

"Oh what a pity." Garnet ran over and gave Shannon a hug.

"I don't need a hug!... no I do." Garnet ran back over and gave Shannon another hug.


	29. She loves me she loves me not

Zidane didn't get his money back, and now there off to Xion.

"My feet hurt!" Tidus started to rub his feet.

"Ohhh quite your complaining, you're the one who wanted to go to Vexun from here, geez you whine to much."

"No, I doon't." Tidus started to whine again.

"Yeah, sure you don't."

"Oooo Zidnay do you see that beautiful castle there? Oooo can we live there? Please please pleeeeease?" Garnet looked up and gave Zidane him her puppy eyes.

"Yeee… no." Garnet looked down and pouted. "But I'll tell you what we can go see it!"

"Really! YEAY!" Garnet went and grabbed Zidane's arm.

"Zidane so we have to I really want to go see Yuna."

"I said quite whining."

"Zidane-"

"Shut up Eiko, can you ever stop talking?" Notice Eiko hasn't said a word for a while. "Hmmm, I think I know this place? What is it?"

Just then a giant red dragon came and flew right beside the castle, there seemed to be someone on it, everyone looked closer to find out who.

"Hello!" Zidane yelled.

"I know who that is, it's-" Tidus looked surprised and the feelings of butterflies flying in his stomach.

"Hi guys!"

"Kasey!" Garnet ran over and hugged Kasey.

"Yea, hi. It's great seeing you. What are you doing here?"

"Were looking for these people on this list remember?"

"Owww, your still doing that? I thought you would be done by now."

"Well were not." Zidane gave a glare.

"Owww can we see your castle? Zidane promised that we could see it."

"Yes I did and you just did. Now lets go find this Squall guy, he's here somewhere."

"Squall?" Kasey asked surprised.

"Yea, do you know him?"

"Ummm… yes. Why don't you come inside?" The group walked inside of a large black beautiful castle with red and black everywhere, because those are Kasey's favorite colors, and this is her castle.

"Wow its huge, but why are there so many pictures of Kuja here?"

"Well ummm, I cant afford ad castle or a house of my own so Shannon let me have one of hers. I still haven't redecorated it yet."

"Wow that's a nice friend, unlike others who lets me have money when I need it." Zidane glared at Tidus who was staring everywhere looking at how large the castle is.

"Well If you can't afford a house how did you afford all this other stuff, and your dragon?"

"Shannon." Kasey said shyly as she kicked the ground in sadness.

"Do you have any money?"

"Yea, some. Just not much. Since Shannon and me have been friends since first grade we are really close and she helps me out and I help her out."

"Why not? Don't you have a job?"

"Yea, but I'm a bar tender, I only live on tips, and Camilon is 2 days away on dragon so I only work once a week, so then I can only see my fiancé one day out of a week. Maybe I should ask Shannon to move my bar closer to home."

"What was that!" Tidus said shocked as he finally paid attention to what people were saying.

"Home?"

"No before that."

"To?"

"No, after 'see my'."

"Fiancé?"

"Yeah. You have a fiancé!" Tidus started to hyperventilate. "How come the girls who like me have a husband or fiancé and then one who is my fiancé is off with someone else." Tidus fell down on the flow confused and started to cry.

"Ohhh, did I leave that part out?"

"Just slightly."

"Ohhh well now you get to meet him, he is soooooo cute. Squally baby come here, some of my friends are here and they want to talk to yooooou " Kasey said in her cute baby voice. Then Squall came in with his cute sad eyes, brown arched hair, adorable scar and (as you can tell Kasey's typing this) and everything else that cute about him.

"I don't want to."

"Yes, you do now say hi to the nice people." Kasey went over and clung onto his arm.

"No."

"Puleeeeeeeeeeeease." Kasey looked up with here sady sad sad sad Kasey teary eyes.

"O.k. hi."

"Your Squall?" Tidus compared himself.

"What so you want I was right in the middle of chopping off Seifers head."

"But Seifers back there in Mulanu."

"Yes unfortunately." Squall clinched a fist.

"What does that mean?"

"All he ever did was boss me around, and just because he never graduated from the Garden, and he thinks it was all my fault. I told him it wasn't and he wanted to challenge me to a match. Can you imagine that me a fully graduated Seed and I'm, but yet he did."

"Did what?"

"Beat me! So now I'm practicing on this Seifer that I made out of Cardboard, which will not do much to help, but it's a good way to relive stress." Everyone nodded there heads and took a step back.

"Ohhh Squally I have good news, my friends are on a mission to find the best warriors in the world and your in it." Kasey squeezed his arm.

"I am? I mean, of course I am. Let me see it." Zidane took out the list and Squall snatched it out of his hands. "No, no , no, no."

"What are you looking for?"

"Yes ha ha."

"What?" Tidus was starting to get irritated from Squall not answering his questions.

"He's not on here."

"Who?" Everybody yelled out also getting irritated.

"Seifer, which shows I'm better than him."

"You have some really bad issues with him don't you?"

"No."

Later that night everyone talked more about the list and what was happening, while Zidane was enjoying some free booze. Squall and Tidus talked about weapons and fighting. Garnet was trying to talk to Kasey who didn't seem to listen. And Eiko was watching Zidane drink beer after beer.

"So Squall," Tidus started. "what's your favorite fiend?"

"…I really need to move that vase over there…"

"Hello?" Squall was thinking to himself again. He got up and walked over to a vase, and moved it across the room, and studied it to see if it looked good on the other side of the room.

Everyone looked at him in confusion. "What's he doing?"

"I don't know he seems to do that a lot." Kasey really didn't seem to care what Squall did, but explained to the group anyway.

"Hey do you think we could have some food? We haven't eaten for a few hours." Kasey clapped her hands and there was food on the table.

"Right on man!" Tidus went to the table and started scarfing down as much food as he could fit in him mouth at a time. Everyone came over, and started to eat, but Squall kind of sat there looking at the food. "Hey man you don't look at it, you eat it."

"… maybe I should eat the fish first, or maybe … Zidane?"

"Yea?"

"Do I have to come with you on your journey?"

"Well not really, but we already have 1 out of 21 and we went thought half of them already…"

"So I guess I have to go?"

"Yeah of course Rikku's life is in danger. Like I care."

"You mean I wont be able to see my Squall baby for a while?" Kasey clung to Squall tighter afraid to loose him.

"Well not a while I think not ever." Zidane put on a cheep smug smile on his face."

"If I go Kasey comes to."

"Well theirs nothing wrong with that. I think."

"Yeay, now I can spend a lot more time with you." Kasey gave Squall a kiss on the cheek.

"Well I'm ready to turn in." Zidane stretched while hitting Tidus in the back of the head.

"You guys can have the 16th floor the hmmm 52nd room on the left and the girls 51st."


	30. Just a reminder

I would like to congratulate everyone for reading this far. And just to remind you if you haven't reviewed the story this far, you should. We would really like to know what you all think about it. Keep up the reading, and enjoy the rest of the story.


	31. Inner secrets

Zidane walked in the room to see Tidus moping by the window. He looked up with sadness in his eyes. "It takes you a half hour to go to the bathroom?" He said as Tidus wiped his eyes.

"I got lost. The bathroom was the 42nd door to the left. Are you crying? Geez you're pathetic."

"I… uh… wasn't crying." Tidus started to wipe his eyes. "I um bit my tongue."

"Sure. Hey look what I found." Zidane sat on the bed and laid a thick in front of him. "I found it in one of the 40 rooms on my way to the bathroom."

Tidus glanced over to read the title The Ultimates Diary. "Is it Shannon's?"

"I think "by Shannon" at the bottom would give it away. Can you believe that she just left it on a desk in the study? You'd think she would keep it somewhere safer than a guarded, locked, bobby-trapped room." Zidane rubbed his hands together and started to flip the cover.

"Oh yeah, I mean always keep stuff in a safe place, because you never know when someone is going to wonder around your house, stealing stuff."

"Exactly. Lets see here…"

"Are you sure you're suppose to be reading that? That's Shannon's private information."

"…Hey, listen to, this.: Today I met Someone who was completely breath-taking. His biceps were huge, eyes were ice blue, abs as hard as steal, and hair of the silver moon: Awww for a moment I thought she was talking about me. I wonder if I'm in here at all." Zidane flipped through the pages impatiently. "Nope, blah, blah, blah, Zidane's a moron, Kuja's hot, I hate Aeris- There's nothing about me!"

"Why don't you read that again. Start with the part, Zidane's a moron. That might lead to something."

"Hmmm…: I've met Kuja's family, which really is just one, younger, stupid, drinking, teenage geonome. I swear, later in life he's going to end up being an alcoholic lapdog to someone who's not worth ruling.:"

"Wow, she can tell the future. That's a big possibility to come true, Read on."

"I can see it now, five brainless goons off to destroy-save the world. Zidane's a moron.:" Zidane closed the book sourly and threw it on the floor. "I'm not a moron. I'll show her. I wont be a lapdog."

"Calm down. You shouldn't throw someone else's stuff o the floor."

"Shut up, you brainless blonde goon."

"Hey it didn't say that!"

"It would if she have gotten more detailed." Tidus grabbed the collar of Zidane's shirt and the two of them started throwing punches.

Garnet came barging in the room with a smile that disappeared when she saw Tidus and Zidane fighting. "Zidane and Tidus! I think it's a time out for both of you." They stopped, but gave each other death looks. "Much better." Garnet smiled and her attention turned to the dairy lying on the floor. She picked it up and started to skim thought the pages. "What's this?"

"Shannon's stupid diary, but don't bother to read it. There is nothing juicy or secretive in it… Except a brainless blonde…" Garnet took their attention by gasping out loud. "This is soooooo romantic. I'm going to show Eiko." Garnet skipped down the hall, leaving Zidane and Tidus wondering.

"What's so romantic in there?"

"I don't know. I didn't find anything about drinking with girls who'll sleep with ya for free. I guess it goes to show, that women don't know anything about romance.

Tidus gave Zidane an add look. "Huh, huh… Zidane you need help."


	32. Don't get caught

Ah yes. So, the next day the travelers went to the next city, to achieve the next warrior. This time having an extra warrior, extra annoyance, and extra money for extra beer.

"Are we going to get Yuna now? Are we going to Vexun and killing Seymour? I would really like to go now. Is there any way to get there faster?" Tidus finally stopped for an answer.

"What? Do you think I'd know?" Zidane questioned back. Tidus put on a gloomy look.

Kasey felt sorry for him and concluded that she should share a helpful fact. "If you go threw Death Forest you'll come to a city, and Vexun is in the middle of it. Winifal is one of the biggest 'White' cities on the continent.

"Wait, are you saying there's a city inside a city? How that done?"

"Well." Kasey began to give a history lesson about how Winifal was started out, and how Vexun was surrounded by it.

"Okay then, off to the Forest of Death which is Death Forest." Tidus lead the way, or just eagerly ahead of everyone, to the deadly forest.

The place was sickly green color as slicing branches hung overhead. Red vines spiraled around the trees with poison purple flower's bloomed open. Terrifying screeches came from within the darkness. Fumes of perfume and caucuses wrecked and burned everyone's noises.

Tidus hesitated before going in while Garnet yelled out. "Wow what a beautiful place. Look flowers!" Garnet ran in excitedly, Eiko, who stood by Zidane, tisked disapprovingly. They could hear Garnet's voice echoing through the gaps. "Laleidala, laleidala, lala."

As the rest of the explorers adventured in, Kasey stopped to tell them another important fact. "Theirs three main death traps. Insanity musical elves, black holes and… and well it doesn't matter because they don't exist. We should all be alert."

"Laleidala- oops I stepped on a pwetty flower. Purple is such a lovely color… I'm getting sleepy… My figures are numb… I… I… Ooh, what's that!"

The group ventured in the forest. They walked cautiously. Then they started to hear a tune that seemed corrupted. "Ohhh what lovely music."

"Those are the insanity elves. We should run!" Kasey lead the way. "Their songs might turn us insane." As they ran, Garnet ripped and fell in a black hole.

"Garnet!" Zidane yelled down the pit. "… She's gone, diminished, decinigrated. I finally got rid of her, and now I regret it." Zidane stood there thinking of the goof memories of her, although there wasn't that many to begin with.

Since no one was doing anything, Squall decided he should be a hero. He looked around for something to lower himself down in the blackness. He ripped a red vine off the tree and jumped down with it in his grip.

"What are you doing?" Kasey hollered after him. "Why did he jump down there? What is he thinking?" Everyone shrugged and waited to see what happened. After a few minutes Squall climbed up the vine with Garnet on his shoulder. "Squally bay, are you alright?" Kasey ran to hug him.

Garnet coughed and looked up at Zidane. "Zidany...?"

"Yes, Garnet my heart?" Zidane reached for her hand.

Garnet slapped him and gave him a glare. "Why didn't you jump down and save me? What kind of boy friend are you?" Garnet crossed her arms and waited fro Zidane's reply, but he just stayed silent.

Eiko slouched down and groaned. "We'll never make it out of here alive."

Squall looked down at her and corrected her comment. "We **will** make it out of here. All we have to so is run from the insanity elves and dodge the black holes."

"What about the M. R. O. H. S's?" Kasey clung on to Squalls arm.

"Mutated Rats Of Human Size? They don't exist, just like you said." At that moment a large lance was thrown to the ground and almost hit Squall. Then a giant rat- actually it was only a few inches taller then Zidane- jumped down next to it.

The party gasped as the mutant rat stood before them. Kasey leaned over to Squall and said. "I think they exist."

The rat eyed them and when her glance fell on Zidane she spoke. "Zidane is that you?"

"Huh?"

"You don't remember me?"

"Uh, sure I do you're… you're Ratanne." She put on a scowl. "I'm kidding. I always remember a pretty women in my life. That's why I forgot you." Zidane said that's last part under his breath. Garnet went over and whispered 'Freya' in his ear. "Ah yes, you're Freja."

"Freya!"

"Uh yeah, I was just testing you.

"Wait, Freya… Freya? That name sounds familiar." Tidus took out the list. "Hey, you're one of the warriors."

"The what?"

"Warriors. We have to collect 21 of them in order to get out friend back. Hey, aren't you suppose to be in Prunix?"

"Says who?"

"The list." Tidus held it up to her and pointed to where she was.

"Well, I was there 2 days ago. Really, Prunix is a little village North of here."

"Oh, well were going to Vexun." Tidus put the list back in his pocket. "Will you come with us?"

"Hmmm… Vexun. Never been there before. Sure, I'll come."


	33. Were do these things come from

The group has once again found and joined by another warrior. Now the seven of them left the forest and was continuing their way to Vexun.

After awhile the group started to see a small white reflector in the far distance. As they got closer, they noticed it was a giant white city that blinded them with the sun's rays. There was a guard controlling the gates that blocked the entrance. He stood there in his uniform as though he had nothing better to do with his time.

The journeyers went up to ask for a passage. "Excuse me, sir, but may we get through?" Tidus asked impatiently. Just a city away from Yuna he thought to himself.

The guard looked them over an cleared his throat when he saw Freya. "We like to keep the streets as clean as possible. I'm sorry, but there are no rats aloud."

Freya felt extremely insulted. "I'm not a Rat! Well, I am a certain species of rat, but that doesn't make me a filthy rodent!"

The guard nodded, yet he said. "you're still not aloud in." Freya growled and left.

"Damn it. Now we lost another warrior." Zidane sighed as the group entered in the city. It was a regular, crowed, unentertaining, no contest place.

They were walking down the main street minding there own business until someone ran behind and pushed Zidane. He fell to the floor as he watched a man in black pants, boots and a trench run away. Zidane cursed at him trying to get his attention.

When the guy turned around, Zidane realized it was Kuja. Kuja smiled mysteriously and ran towards them. "Ah, if it isn't' my loser of a brother. I have proof that you're adopted you know."

"Whatever. Why'd you push me? Now I'm all full of mud-actually I don't' think its mud. Oh Shi-" Zidane brushed himself off and stood up as Kuja interrupted him.

"Oh sorry. If I'd known it was you, I'd do a lot more them punch you in manure." Kuja crossed his arms, still with that smirk on his face. However it disappeared when he remembered something. "I have to get going." Kuja turned and ran down the way he was previously going.

"Hey wait up!" Zidane and the others trailed after him to an inn. When the group walked in the saw Kuja standing there, eyeing a suspicious gang.

There was a solider dressed in a blue uniform with blonde hair that hung at the side, a dark big man with a gun for a right arm, a girl with brown hair, another boy geonome with black short hair, and a 14 year old boy dressed in the oddest clothes. They all sat around a table dissing someone who they obviously all had in common with.

"Yeah, who in there right mind would worship her? What'd she ever do?" The big guy took a sip of his beer.

"Maybe she brainwashed them with that new Japaneisa stuff."

"I'd worship her is she hadn't dumped me."

"You'd still worship her is we didn't offer free beer if you joined this club." The geonome looked slightly like Zidane except her hair, and the thought of that she was a girl. "Who's she seeing now?" The group shook their heads, to the question that didn't seem to have a n answer to.

"Last time I heard is that Shannon 'the wonderful' yea whatever, was seeing a later something. He was the guy after the gambler."

"Oh yea, him. That guy was easy to set up, making him look likes he cheating with another girl." The soldier smiled as he laid back in his chair. "Didn't we have him arrested too-for no reason?" They laughed in amusement.

Kuja finally got sick of the talk he was hearing and decided to say something. "Slater was four years ago. You guys really need to catch up in the times."

The dark, buzz cut guy turned his head. He and his little party glared at Kuja. "Yeah, and who might you be pretty boy?"

Kuja gritted his teeth, but answered calmly. "I just happened to now some information about Shannon. Who are you?"

"I'm Barret." The gun-armed man said the he pointed to the soldier. "That's Randy. And the girl is Larsella." The soldier still slouched in his seat, but the girl waved friendly. Barret continued one with introducing the guys. "The boy is not important." The kid scowled at Barret. "The other dude is Ryan, and we are the Anti-Shannon's, also called the A.S's."

Kuja smiled with a creative idea n his head. "The A.S's, huh? Why don't you guys call yourself the Anti-Shannon Slums? That way you can add another 's' to your abbreviation. That name suites you better."

Zidane cheered in the background. "Oooo, burn!"

The A.S's faced darkened. "Yeah, why don't we call ourselves the Anti-Shannon Slums, all we do is sit here and complain?"

Barret cut the boy off in a loud voice. "No! Were no going to do that! You what's your problem?" He pointed his gun at Kuja.

Garnet watched what was going on, but she dementedly didn't know what's happening. "I don't get it. What's the big deal with slums?"

Tidus turned to her to explain. "If they add the 'slums' they'd have to add another 's' to the A.S, which would end up spelling ass."

"Oh…"

"Whatever." Barret turned back to his punks. "You say that were four years behind? Kid get out the computer and check and up-date Shannon's file." The brown headed boy with a big hair do took out this laptop and started to push buttons.

"You have a file on her?" Kuja's face went blank.

"How else are we suppose to keep track of her, stalk her?"

"That might be a better idea. What are the chances you get four ears behind? I can tell you where-"

"Shut up Zidane!" The silver haired genomes words were hard and his fists were white. Kuja wasn't pleased with the situation. The again how would you feel if someone was keeping records of your girl-regardless of begin four years later.

The child's eyes widened as he looked at the screen of the computer. "Whoa, Shannon's married already? I wonder what poor, idiotic, crack-head she ended up with?" He pushed some buttons and made a even more disgusting look." "The guy looks like a women! I think Shannon's a lesbian. Is that make-up and a dress?"

The soldier- Randy, shook his head. "Shannon's not a lezzy. Trust me, I should know." He smiled, remembering the moments. Possibly dirty thoughts.

"You might be the reason why she switched." Ryan's comment brought Randy to choke over his drink.

Kuja stayed silent thinking in what ways he can hurt these people, however Zidane giggled in the back. "Yeah Kuja, what happened to you make-up and dresses?"

There was a silent hint of anger in Kuja's slightly harsh voice. "The make-up was for disguise and the 'dress' – it wasn't a dress by the way- it was Tarrian style clothing in that time."

The kid continued to do research. "Ha the guys a poor worthless thief. I wonder if he knows about the expired insurance from the vets for his monkey, Zidane?"

Zidane's good mood went down the drain as he heard what was said. "The vets! You sent me to the vets for health car? That explains why they always let in animals… Kuja, how could you do that!"

"Hey it was cheaper. I could have honestly, swore you are 80 monkey anyways. You're dumb enough to have gone to that place for ten years and still notice."

While Zidane, Kuja, and the A.S's started to insult each other, Tidus asked a question. He didn't have time to wait, and he didn't want to go get Yuna by himself. "Why do you call yourselves the Anti-Shannon's? Do you dislike her for some reason?"

Larsella spoke first. "Who wouldn't? I mean why worship a blue-eyes blonde, when they could have me?" The girl stood up and gave her speech. "I'm much more pretty, I care more for people. I-" Barret stopped her before she got to much into it.

"Shut up, envy queen." Larsella made a sour look. "We all have our reasons. Larsella's just jealous and I hate her because she treated me like her other with worshipers. She's not recess at all. I hate people with that attitude." Zidane nodded in agreement except everyone else looked at Barret awkwardly.

"Well at least she didn't dump you." Their attention turned to Randy. "I gave her everything, but Shannon said she doesn't have trust in me. It's not considered cheating of its in a different city and they don't know about it."

"I agree." Again Zidane took their side.

"Well, she suspected something." The boy turned off the computer and put it away.

"At least she didn't make fun of my 'girl' name." Randy smirked over his cup.

"I don't have a girl name!"

"What is your name?" Garnet asked in her darling voice.

"… Sora…" The kid looked down meek, when Kuja, Zidane, and Tidus bursted out laughing.

"N-no it's just a name of the digi-girl, he he."

"It's not a girl's name!"

"Quiet Sora, d-arling." Ryan mocked Sora as he glared at everyone and started mumbling to himself.

"So, why would a geonome hate Shannon? Those are the best species she gets along with."

Ryan looked down and remembered his painfully encounter with Shannon. "She wouldn't loan me money because I wouldn't bow to her. Then I tried steeling and she broke my arm and threw me in the streets. I've been ran over by 3 fat chocobos. From there on, I've been the 'lesson' for her worshipers that they would get hurt if they disobeyed. I didn't mind the pain from her defense- turned me on, actually-, but I despise being a 'lesson'. Now the people call me the unworthy worshiper, so they throw rocks at me."

"Wow, that rock thing is common in these areas." Garnet thought out loud.

"Hmmm… Maybe I should join the A.S's…" Tidus had a lot of incidents where Shannon kept putting him down.

His comment took the attention off Ryan. "What's your reason to want to join? Call you a dumb blond?"

"… N-no… Yes." Tidus looked down at the floor as the A.S's laughed at him.

"Yeah, you look like a dumb blond, too. Ah, Shannon has such great humor." Barret smacked Randy at the back of the head.

"You're suppose to dis her, not compliment, and be nice to the new recruiter."

Garnet made a scowl and put her fist on her hips. "Shannon's nice. Tidus how could you betray her by joining these dirt bags."

"Hey!"

"I resent that."

Garnet ignored the A.S's and continued on. "She offered a well meal, fabulous comfy beds and 30,000 gil because she felt sorry for not coming. Who could possibly hate her?" Garnet waited for Tidus to reply, however, Kuja spoke first.

"She wasted 30,000 gil on you dimwitted creatures!"

"I'm not dimwitted, I use 7 of my brain it's a fact." Zidane said proudly, but his pride was diminished shortly.

"Yeah considering you only have ¼ of a brain, surprisingly."

"Oh, by the way, Shannon doesn't have any money since you're gone."

This was information that the A.S's actually listened to. "She's broke? No money? Has to rely on someone else…? Who would have thought? Sora spread the word." The kid did as he was told. He set up his laptop and was going into his e-mail."

Kuja shook his head. "How could that woman spend so much money in two weeks? I thought I left her enough for two months."

"Well she needed some for prom. I can't wait to see her dress." Garnet clapped her hands together and started day-dreaming.

"Shannon told me she wasn't going to prom. How could she lie to me? Squall, were going shopping."

"Awww I don't want to go… People are going to be looking at us." Kasey dragged Squall out as he moaned and whined.

Kuja crossed his arms and said 'prom' sourly. Then his eye caught Sora typing on the computer. He just logged in on Whahoo e-mail. Kuja summoned Thundaraga and basically destroyed Sora's laptop.

Sora's eyes widened and his voice squeaked. "My laptop! You- you… My laptop!" As Sora started to cry, Garnet started yelling at Kuja.

"Kuja, how could you break the little boy's toy?" While Garnet was speaking, Kuja talked over her.

"Blah blah. You're a demented princess. You're boyfriend is a dung bag."

"You're a murderer, thief, and a big bully. You're a bad man."

"Annoying, optimistic fool."

"Evil, stone-hearted killer."

"Pageant ninny."

"Dark soul."

Zidane quickly cut in as he pushed the two away from each other. "Ladies, ladies. There's no need to fight." When Zidane smiled, Kuja took a handful of his hair and stood his on his toes.

"Call me that again, and I will rip off you're tail and strangle you with it. Is that clear?"

"Ow, ow. That hurts." Kuja griped tighter. "Ye-yes! Yes! Put me down." Zidane fell down when Kuja let go. His head hit the ground because Zidane isn't use to falling a inch off the floor.

"Even though this is turning out to be a god show, could we get back to the topic?" Everyone turned to the A.S's. Barret, Ryan and Randy were standing before them now, Sora stopped crying, but was staring at what's left of his expensive technology- which was a small pile of ash, and Larsella sat by his side trying to cheer him up.

"That was a 10,000 gil computer. Plus the fact that the girl is a Shannon worshiper." Barret eyed garnet. "We don't like Shannon worshipers."

Eiko yelled out from being quiet too long. "Beat her with stones!"

With a squeak, Garnet hid behind Zidane as rocks were being thorn at her. When Zidane got hit in the head, Kuja took a beer bottle and was about to smack it on the counter of the bar.

"Wait, don't waste good beer!" Zidane took it out of Kuja's hand and started to drink it. However nothing came out.

"What are you doing? The bottle is empty."

"No, there was two drops left."

Rolling his eyes, Kuja sighed. "Well now you can use it to defend yourself from those clubs and steel bars."

Zidane looked at the A.S's who had there weapons ready to fight. Zidane looked at the bottle and then tried to break it in half by also hitting it on the counter, he failed. "What the? Hmmm…" He tried it again, and still failed. "Why wont it break? I'm hitting it as hard as I can. There's something wrong with this glass. I think it's indestructible."

Kuja took the bottle from Zidane. "Let me see that." He smite it on Zidane's head, the glass shattered in half. "That's how it's done."

While rubbing his head, Zidane scowled at Kuja when offered the bottle back.

Just before the fight broke out, ad mariachi band came in the inn. "Ale, ale, ale! You no el fighte cause nostoros be el dancene." They sang and danced about.

"What the hell?" Kuja walked and opened a door a slight crack. Apparently, he saw something disturbing and he quickly shut the door and stood in front of it to keep it closed. "No don't let them in."

Garnet skipped to the window to have a looky-see. "Ohhh, a parade! I love parades. Zidaney, can we go see it please?" Garnet bounced in one place, continually begging.

Zidane looked at her and glimpsed at Kuja who was mumbling a curse. Then Zidane rolled his eyes and went to go see what was happening outside through the window. At first sight, he also was terrified.

It was the 100th anniversary of the Botox in the city. There was people in white sites giving free Botox injections and everyone else were just smiling… They looked too happy… They looked too evil.

Zidane pulled away with a disgusted and sick look on his face. Garnet stood by him with her puppy-dog eyes. "It's to crowded." Garnet kept staring. "It's not that great anyways." The princess eyes seemed bigger and sadder. "Um… Uh…" Zidane couldn't find any excuse to say and looked at everybody in the bar for help.

"Let her run free. She can't possibly have enough sense to find someone better, and you're the worst they can ever get." Kuja suggested as he offered to get rid of her.

"But I want wovey-dovey dancy to come too." Garnet hugged Zidane arm, and still looked up to him.

The A.S's finished beating up the Spanish band, which started to get on their nerves after a while, and started to talk about some secret passage.

"We have to escape through the secret passage. Barret went behind the bar and whispered something to the barkeeper. The barkeeper nodded, and Barret waved over the others while a secret door opened.

"Wait, I'm a A.S."

"Me too!"

Tidus and Eiko ran ahead of the rebels, leaving Zidane with Garnet and Kuja. "Wait, Tidus!" Zidane tried to fallow, but Barret blocked the way like a bodyguard.

"You are not an A.S member."

"Uh…" Zidane tried to be clever and well, for once it worked. "Technically, I am because… I killed her favorite dragon purposely."

Kuja spoke up from the back. "She spent 277,000 gil on Luccia." It surprised Zidane to know that the dragons had name. He felt even more uncomfortable to find out that Kuja know the names too. "How is it even possible for you to be able to kill a silver dragon, anyways?"

"It was a black one." Zidane said something before Kuja made a comment. After Kuja nodded that he understood what Zidane explained about Garnet. "And no girl can hate Shannon unless she's to jealous.

"Hey I'm much better than her." Eiko yelled in the back.

Barret nodded in agreement and let three of them through.

12


	34. How bad is she really?

The passage twisted, turned, dropped (literally painful), flipped, looped and then forked. A sign said:

To the city inner city of Vexun 

And the other way said

To the A.S Hall and Bomb/computer storage 

And underneath was a memo

Meeting this week!

There will be a conference on bombing one of the castles. We required information that Shannon will be staying in castle 2. All who will participate must bring flowers, chocolate (no almonds, preferably M+M's), Sliver jewelry and diet Soda (try for Pepsi) just in case experiment fails.

Kuja tore the slip off the board. "What's this! Castle 2?"

Barret cleared his throat. "That's… Uh… Code for… Something… Completely different. Hehehe…"

"Like what?" Kuja raised his eyebrow as he ripped the paper to shreds.

"Uh… Not bombing Shannon…" Barret backed away just to get out of reach as he noticed Kuja's fist clenching together.

Zidane knew that the tension was growing, so he took hold of Kuja's trench and pulled him the other way. "Hey, what do you know. I found out which way Tidus and Eiko ran.


	35. On the way FIANLLY

Soon the party came to a giant door that said 'Vexun.' "Vexun? Yay, we're finally here!" Tidus ran around so happy.  
"Big enough door?" Zidane said sarcastically. "Well I think we should rest for the night, and go on in the morning."  
"No now!" Tidus grabbed Zidane's collar and lifted him off the ground.  
"Easy, it was just a joke."  
"Oh, okay." With that Tidus dropped Zidane down.  
The place of Vexun really isn't a town it's more of a giant building, but the people just call it a town. And surprisingly of how wealthy Seymour was he couldn't afford guards at the front gate.  
"Guys I think I should be the only one to handle Seymour."  
"Well ok see ya on the other side." Zidane saluted to him.  
"Zidane!" Garnet glared.

Kasey, surprisingly who was done shopping in a matter of minutes, and magically appeared with Squall, turned to Tidus "Tidus there's no way you can possibly defeat his gayishness. The only way to get Yuna back is to make her jealous. So why don't you just let me come along."  
"Well, I'm not so sure. That's how I lost her in the first place."  
"But this time it will work, trust me- girls know everything." So with that Tidus and Kasey went into Vexun by bursting threw the door.

"Seymour!" Tidus ran up and put an evil glare on his face, but there was no one there.  
"What? This place is only one room, and they're not in here?" Tidus fell down on the floor and started to cry.  
"There, there its okay, you're so cute when you cry… Ohhh what's this?" Kasey ran towards a leaver that said:

"Leaver to wedding room. Do not pull"

"Geez, that's convenient." Kasey pulled it and a stair case appeared. They walked down and started hearing bells. "Ohhh bells I wonder who's getting married?"  
"Married?" Tidus ran down the rest of the way, but tripped when he was 5 steps ahead.  
"Get up you klutz. Geez, you'll never get there in time if you keep this up." Tidus started to cry some more. Kasey sighed because she never liked to baby sit. "Oh come on, I didn't mean that. Here, one step at a time."  
"I can't do it (sniff)." Tidus started to bang his head on the wall. After every hit a 'ow' came after it.  
"Well if it hurts don't do it."  
"Owwwww!" Tidus continued to cry.  
"Ohhh be a man." Kasey grabbed him by the ear and dragged him down the rest of the way.


	36. Another one taken away

Meanwhile outside of the city, the group was sitting and waiting.  
"I hope Kasey's alright." Garnet had sadness in her voice as she passed back and forth.  
"What about Tidus? He can't tell his right from his left." Zidane explained.  
"I know but Kasey's a girl, and umm yea." Garnet didn't know how else to defend her claim.  
"Don't worry I taught Kasey all my SeeD moves and trained her to be a 1 SeeD." (yeah I know its not all correct but its all part of the master plan)  
"That's it?" Zidane dropped his mouth.  
"Well it's farther than most people get when they don't go to a Garden."  
"Yeah , but 1? I would expect 15 or 30, but 1? How many are there?"  
"About 180, each level is worth a month, and believe me your even lucky to get to .001."  
"This garden stuff doesn't make any sense." Zidane scratched his head and sat down from thinking to hard. "Well what level are you?"  
"Me? I'm graduated. I'm a 180 level SeeD."  
"But if its 1 level a month that would mean…" Zidane started to count on his hands and doing math in his head.  
"15 years!" Garnet jumped up and yelled it out.  
"Yes… wait, huh?" Surprisingly Garnet got a math question right.  
"So you started when you were…" Zidane counted on his figures again.  
"2!" Garnet yelled out again.  
"Stop that!" Zidane had a vexed look. "Yes 2… 2?" (Yea I know he started when he was 7 but like I said master plan)  
"Yea you have to start early." Squall Boasted  
"Way early. I wouldn't even walk at that time."  
"Yeah well there's a good long story for that."  
"Really tell me, tell me." Zidane sat down like a little kid getting ready for someone to read him a story. "It's not like there going to be back here in…"  
"10 minutes!" Garnet yelled. She was so surprised of reading Zidane's mind.  
"Stop that! So tell me."  
"Ok well you-" But before Squall could even start to tell the story, two large slightly built guys came.  
"Yeah, that's him, Squall." One of them started to grab him and drag Squall away.  
"Hey what's going on here." Squall said as he struggled to get free.  
"You are Squall Leonhart right?"  
"That depends."  
"Just answer!"  
"Y-yes." Squall said uncertainly.  
"Okay boys lets go."  
"No, no I'm not, I'm not I say. Let me goooo!" Squall yelled as he was being taken away.

Zidane didn't want to loose another warrior and butted in."Hey, why are you taking him away?"  
"Ooh, a talking monkey, we should take him back too, and run some tests on him."  
"No! I'm not a monkey! Squall why aren't you using your SeeD moves on them?"  
Squall didn't answer as his head fell down in shame, but one of the men, who just so happened to be Seifer, told them.  
"Because, this lone wolf never graduated. So, he now has to take the course all over again, just as I am."  
"No I have a life now. I can't. I have a fiancé."  
"Ha fiancé? Surprised you're not married yet." Seifer laughed  
Squall looked up at Seifer with an evil smile, "Are you?"  
Those few words cut Seifer deep. Sadly his only love was already married. "If I don't get married, neither can you. Take him away boys."  
"Ahem." The girl put her hands on her hips.  
Seifer looked at one of his pose members. "Ohhh umm take him away."  
Zidane glowered "Oh great, we lost another one."  
"Zidane? What about Kasey she will be heart broken when she finds out. Her wedding was in only one week." Garnet whined.  
"One week? Hmm maybe she won't notice."


	37. Inturuptive wedding

Anyway, back to Tidus and Kasey:

"Seymour!"

"Oh- why, if it isn't the scrawny little brat." Seymour turned to Kasey and Tidus.

"I'm not scrawny, you're just fat! Now, give me back my Fiancé…." Tidus gave a confused look as he glanced around and didn't see Yuna anywhere. "As soon as she's here, then give her back."

Just then a large set of doors, on the other side of the entrance, and Yuna came out in a white dress. It was actually pretty for her sense of style, but that's because Seymour picked it out. (As you can all tell Seymour is part human, part Gaywad, and part Guada, but for some reason Seymour wasn't gay. That's why he's going to marry Yuna)

"Y-Y-Yuna? Set her free, you…you…." Kasey helped Tidus finish his sentence.

"Fatty, flabby man!….Well, I'm not sure is he's actually a man."

"Whatever." Tidus turned his attention Seymour. "Set her free!"

Seymour laughed, "Well, as you can't see, she is not doing this against her will, but for her…."

"What?" Tidus said impatiently.  
"If you can ever figure anything out, this might help you: I just simple hypnotized her with my simple 'Grando-sonic-huble-granbile-hamper ray. You can see I've been wanting her for a long time, and then just a couple days ago I was able to make her agree to marry me. That way, I have no regrets nor broken –heart."

"You're crazy!"

"Oh, am I?"

"Tidus answered, "Yes, you are. I just said you are."

"Well, well, well. Ooh forget that. Come my 'wife to be,' Let us be wed. Yuna walked up to the alter where Seymour and the priest were.

"No Yuna, don't!"

Seymour waved his hand away at Tidus, "Guards, this brat is ruining my wedding." Just then a bunch of gerbils came running in.

Kasey looked confused. "That's it? Those are your guards?"

The gerbils spring into action and pulled out their nonchucks and started singing "Everybody was Kung Fu fighting- do-do-do-do-do-do-do. Those cats were as fast as lighting- do-do-do-do-do-do-do."

Kasey exclaimed sarcastically, "Ooh, I'm terrified"

"You will be. Ninja gerbils attack." The little gerbils jumped and stared hitting Tidus and Kasey with their nunchucks. Kasey and Tidus tried to hold off the ninjas as much as they could, but it's didn't succeed. The gerbils were too fast.

"Wehehehehe!" Seymour gave out an evil laugh.

With as much strength he had. Tidus tried to bring Yuna's mind back. "Yuna help! …I…I…I-I love you!" Just then Yuna blinked as she shook her head, going out of her hypnotisms.

"T…Tidus loves me?" The idea made her come back to reality. She turned her head to where she heard his voice. Once she noticed that her one true love was being beaten by the ninja gerbils, she became pissed. Yuna's gold ring on her necklace, and out of nowhere a Gimmecat appeared (a freaky little cat with wings)

The cat started to talk, "Meow, I want a diamond." The gerbils searched their pockets (Surprisingly, gerbils wear pants)

"We don't have any…." Then the gerbils decided to attack. "Kill the cat!" As the little gerbils attacked the cat, but they ended up healing the it."

"Meow, I'm mad." The Gimmecat summoned magic meteor on the gerbils and killed them all.

Yuna ran over to Kasey and Tidus, whose bodies were limp.

"Wehehehehe! Even though your gimmecat defeated my gerbils, you can't save your beloved Fiancé"

"Tidus please don't die…."

"But he already has."

"Oh, shut up," tears ran down Yuna's cheeks. "Tidus, I love you too…." As her tears dripped down, Yuna's ring started to glow once more. In a flash of light, the Phoenix appeared. Magical, sparkle dust sprinkled over Kasey and Tidus, lifting them off the ground. Then the phoenix finally did a spinning spiral and a big blast of light filled the room. Blinded by the light, Yuna was stunned. However, when the light cleared, Tidus and Kasey were back on the ground- not moving.

Seymour laughed again, "Ha, I told you it wouldn't work. Weeheehee."

Apparently, Seymour spoke too soon, and Tidus' hands started to move. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Oww, my head hurts like hell, what happened? ...Yuna?"

"Tidus?" Yuna looked over at him, and gave him a hug. Then she gave him a kiss, "I thought I lost you…." Tidus returned Yuna's affection with a smirk.

"No! How could this happen? I can't lose."

"Well, you just did."

"No! I'll get you for this, Tidus. I'll get you for this!" Seymour ran away, but not very fast, considering he's a bit too fat to run.


	38. Another love?

Yuna, Tidus and Kasey headed back to the group, and when Kasey heard the news about her lover- she was devastated.

"He what?"

"Was taken away by Seifer and his pose." Zidane explained.

"And you didn't save him?"

"I tried, but they were going to take me too, and run some tests on me."

Kasey gave an evil glare, "Why, to see how dimwitted you really are?"

"No." Zidane made his excuse sound like an obvious answer, "Because I have a tail."

Kasey gave up and fell to the ground and started to cry. "It was only one week to my wedding."

"There, there." Garnet walked over to comfort her. "Everything will turn out for the best. I was going out with a high class prince until Zidane came and stole my heart." Garnet day dreams out into the distance and sighs.

"Yeah, and I will always regret it." Zidane mumble under his breath.

"So you see things happen for a reason. Maybe you'll meet a dark handsome stranger, and marry him instead."

"But Squally….He always is so lonely. Oh, how I want to be there for him."

"Well there's no use sitting here waiting for nothing. We lost another warrior ands we better hurry if we want to catch up and save Rikku. We have less then 80 days left. So, lets go" Tidus urged on.

"Zidaney, can Kasey come with?"

"Yeah, maybe we can have her go as Squall. 'He' won't know the difference."

"I heard that." Kasey gave Zidane a glare.

"Okay, let's go." And with that the group went on with only one pathetic little warrior, who can't do anything, Kuja, well, I guess he's good enough, and heart broken Kasey.

They were half way out of Vexun when they heard a girly scream. "What was that?" Everyone ran to where they have heard where the scream came from. They ended up at the 'Museum of Fine Art'. "It came from a museum?"

"Stop him! He's going steal the 'Clay of Wonders'!" The same guy screamed again in his girly voice.

"Okay, let's leave." Zidane started to walk away in the opposite direction, but Garnet grabbed him by the arm.

"Zidane we have to stop them. We have to help."

"But I don't wanna too…."

Then Tidus broke in with his plan, "I got it, Garnet and I will go this way," he points left. "Eico and Kuja will go that way, Yuna will go this way, and Zidane and Kasey will go right."

"But I don't wanna too…." Zidane continued to whine some more.

Tidus gave a sigh, "Well you can stay if you want to, but it'd go faster if we had some more help."

"Bossing me around….I don't wanna." Zidane sat down on one of the museum benches and crossed his arms and he wouldn't budge. Everyone else went they're separate ways trying to catch the mysterious thief who's about to steal the 'Clay of Wonders'.

Along the many ways other people where screaming down the halls. "Stop him

"He's going down the corridor of 'Terrible Looking Statues'"

He has stolen it- Stop him"

Kasey went down to where she would encounter him while the others are still figuring out endlessly which way they should go. There was a man running down the hall just in front of Kasey. He had Purple hair, black leather pants, and black jacket with a white T-shirt underneath.

"Stop thief!" Kasey yelled. When the guy noticed that a girl was trailing behind him, he stopped and slowly walked towards Kasey. "I know you're the one who stole the 'Clay of Wonders' and I'm here to stop you!"

"Stop me?" The man walked behind Kasey. "No one can stop the 'Phantom Thief', Dark."

Kasey turned around to face him. "All I want is the 'Clay of Wonders' back, okay?"

"Well take it, if it means that much to you." He held out a lump of unpainted clay, and Kasey grabbed it. "Don't know why it means so much to you it's just a hunk of clay with no designs or anything on it."

"Then why are you stealing it?"

"Because I am Dark, the one who steals artifacts from the Hiawtaris'. It's my job, not very great, but that's all I can do."

"Why don't you get a better job like a robber or a bandit?"

"Wow, Beautiful _and_ smart, but isn't that what I'm doing now?" Kasey blushed at Dark's comment.

By that time, Zidane and the rest of the group caught up with Kasey. "Great, you caught him, good job Kasey. Hey, maybe we can get a reward for capturing him." Zidane rubbed his hands together thinking about the money he could receive.

"Zidane, we can't." Garnet said while unfolding the list.

"Why not? I wants my money." Garnet handed the list to Zidane, who ungratefully accepted it. "Ooh…." Zidane groaned as he looked down the list seeing the name 'Dark'. "So I guess he comes with us, huh."

"Exactly, what is it?" Dark questioned. Zidane explained about Steve (dunt dunt daa) and the 'magical magical'. "Ohh, so I'm special."

"Well yeah, I guess…."

"Ya, I guess you and me will be seeing more of each other, hey toots?" Dark winked and put his arm around Kasey. Kasey rolled her eyes, pushed his arm off and walked away. "What's her problem?"

"Her fiancé was taken away and won't come back in fifteen years." Garnet explained with sympathy in her voice.

"Oh…so that means she's single…." Dark thought to himself and smiled.

The group went on their way again, but Dark and Kuja stayed behind.

"I've heard you're pretty good."

"Yeah, the best art thief ever. Well, now I think abtou it- I'm the only art thief there is, but that still makes me the best." Dark went over and picked up the 'Clay of Wonders'- that Kasey dropped. "Bwahahahaha."

"What the hell!"

Dark looked at Kuja blankly, "What?"

"What kind of laugh was _that?_"

"Uh…my laugh?"

Kuja shook his head, "that's terrible"

"What, you think you can do better?" Dark challenged.

"I know I can. Let me give you a little hint: Never, never start a laugh with 'B's…it just doesn't work."

"So….?"

"Here like this…." Kuja cleared his throat, "Khahaha.- That's Shannon's favorite laugh."

"Shannon?"

Oh, she's my wife, my most beautiful darling in the world." Kuja sighed with the thought of her.

"Well, I may be single, but I have my eye on that one." Dark pointed to Kasey who was walking with the rest of the group.

"Oh, Kasey? She's Shannon's best friend. She's upset that her fiancé had to go. Well, he really had no choice, I mean 'an ungraduated SeeD'." Kuja shook his head and walked off.

"Hmm." Dark thought to himself, he could easily take the place of Squall.


	39. try to make your move

The group spent the night at the fanciest inn- in complementary of Dark. Everyone was sleeping except Kasey and Dark. Kasey was on the balcony, looking at the stars and thinking to herself. Dark was bored of watching TV and decided to make his move. Dark walked up behind Kasey and said, "A lot of stars."

"Yeah." Kasey looked at Dark weird, but then went back to staring at the stars.

"Shiny."

"Yeah."

"I wander how many-"

Kasey cut off his question with her answer, "About 672,511,238,910…I lost count there."

Dark gave an astounded look. "How did you…."

"I have a lot of free time." Kasey looked down depressed.

"Did your husband spend a lot of time with you?"

"He's not my husband, he's my fiancé…or _was_."

"Sorry."

Kasey looked up at Dark and answered his questioned, "No, not a lot. He was always working, but when we were together…." She sighed and gave a down cast. "It was so romantic."

"Did he ever look at the stars with you?" Dark scooted a little closer.

"Once, but then he said 'This is stupid,' and left."

"Doesn't seem like he really cared."

"He does….It's just," Tears, weld up in Kasey's eyes and she fell into Darks arms crying. "It's just that I miss him so much, and it was one week till our wedding. I'm probably never going to see him again."

"You know what I would do?"

"What?" Kasey looked up with tears running down her checks.

"I would just move on and find another person. One who likes to look at the stars with you and will never leave you." Dark wiped Kasey's tears off.

"I could, but no one can replace him." Kasey went back to looking at the stars. Dark decided to make his next move. He put both of his hands on Kasey's shoulders and kissed her. Once Kasey realized, what Dark was doing, she pushed him off, punched him in the face. It sent Dark to the floor.

As he rubbed his bruise, he watched Kasey walk away. "I think she likes me."


	40. Back with a old friend

The next morning, everyone woke up and did, basically what everyone do in the morning. They all set up for their next warrior and a day of misfortunes. They finally lest the city and trudged along to the next place where a lot of people live. However, as they crossed the 'Field of No Importance,' someone supposedly unexpected came up.

"Stupid field. Why does it have to be so long…."

"Quit moaning, Zidane. We have to cross over to get to Boaston." Eico held out the map and studied it because she had nothing better to do, unlike the others who fell head over heals string at their partners. Tidus and Yuna were endlessly saying 'I love you,' to each other. Dark kept hitting on depressed Kasey, and Garnet was just being a Garnet and kept tendering Zidane's pathetic mood. Only Kuja looked lonely.

Eico walked over to him. "It seems were the only two who hasn't completely lost our minds to some one else."

"It's starting to remind me of De Luk Cite, when they were celebrating the 'Festival O' Luv.' Eico looked at Kuja blankly, "Festival of love, in their language." Kuja sighed.

Then suddenly Kuja was knocked over with a strong impact of something. "Kuja! My handsome, faithful, sexy, dearest love." Shannon, The Wonderful Shannon, held Kuja with extreme tightness.

"(hack, cough) S-han, I, n't brea-" Apparently, Kuja had trouble breathing.

"Oh, oops. Heehee." She giggled as she helped Kuja on his feet. When she noticed the rest of the group, The Beautiful ran to each one and gave them a hug. "Zidaney, Garnet, Yuna, dumb blonde, Kasey, a new guy with purple hair, I've missed all of you." Half of it was a lie.

"Hey, where's my hug?" Eico crossed her arms, feeling left out.

"Oh, I don't give hugs to those who make me bend down. It's too much work, how 'bout a pat on the head." Eico's face reddens with anger as Shannon gave her two pats as if anyone would for a dog.

Then The Great one turned her attention back to Kuja. "Aw, you look so adorable in this trenchy."

"Great- adorable….That's just what I was going for."

Shannon sighed and rephrased her comment to make Kuja feel better. "Dang, Kuja. You look so hott and mysterious in that sexy trench." She jumped into his arms, "Take me now."

Kuja grinned, "Much better," and dip-kissed Shannon.

Dark gave Kuja a thumb up while Garnet sighed in romance, "They're so perfect for each other. Zidane, why can't we be like that?"

"Uh…." Zidane turned away in disgust at Kuja and Shannon. He turned to Garnet, "Because we have something better….and more suitable for children." Zidane sighed at the two narcissistics and tried to break their mood. "Shannon, what are you doing here, I thought you didn't want to come."

Finishing up her kiss, Shannon turned to Zidane. "My prom. I can't go alone." Shannon started to dance to prove her point. Her steps were flowing, graceful, and elegant, but then again Shannon's talented at everything. "The prom is in two days."

"Hmm, I don't think I can come. I'm kind of caught up with something at the moment."

Shannon blinked and took a glance around. "Kuja," She said forcefully, "Are you telling me that you're coming along with this lap dog so that he can take you to the hoodlum?" There was a hint of anger from rejection in her voice

"Let me ex-"

"I'm starting to conclude that genomes have naturally dumb instincts. Both of you idiots are owned pets."

"Would you let me answer-"

"I mean, think about it; have you ever done what no one had to tell you. Have you done anything on your own sense?"

This time Kuja was fed up with Shannon's rambling and raised his voice. "Damn it Shannon Leigh, just shut up for a moment. Not even a Chawowa is as closely as annoying as you." Before Shannon could speak again, Kuja cupped her chin, to keep her mouth shut, and brought her close. "No one wants to listen or cares what you have to say. Now I'm going to continue to tag along with these idiots and you are not going to go to the prom."

"But-"

"You can't go because I know you won't go by yourself, and you're not going to take that 'Seifer' with you- I don't trust you two together."

"How could you be so mean to her, Kuja? How dare you treat The Great Shannon with little respect." Garnet was disappointed, but Zidane was on Kuja's side

"Yeah, you tell her Kuja. Put her in her place." Zidane made a whipping sound and cheered until Garnet smacked him on the back of his head.

"Fine. I don't wanna go the prom. Prom is for losers who need to boost their self esteem, and home wreckers that hit on all the guys. I don't have to go. I'll just sit home, watch movies, eat chocolate, pet my kitties….It'll be okay, I can't miss my favorite program "Joey" again anyways." Shannon sighed and stared down at her boots.

Kuja sighed too, knowing that he can't stand Shannon being unhappy, "Aw…. Cheer up. If you be good, I'll buy you a cookie."

Shannon gasp, "A cookie?" That lit her spirit right to her former happy mood. "I want a cookie."

"Good. Now come on, we have to keep moving."

Shannon clutch to Kuja and started acting like Garnet giving Kuja cute rhymes to his name, like 'Kuja-Wuja, and Va-uja.'


	41. Everyone wants to do something

After four nights and two days (Shannon got mad at the sun), the journeyers finally reached their next destination. They arrived to Boaston, 'The City of Arms.' It's the city where high class and great knights come to buy their weapons, supplies, and drinks.

At the gates of the great city, there was a man passing out pamphlets of the city, and asking if anyone wanted tours. Zidane took one, only because there was a picture of beer on the front. As he looked though the pages, his eyes lit up in amazement, "Fifty-two bars! Each has a different variety of five hundred drinks! I have to start now if I want to try the all before nightfall." However, before Zidane could run off to his heaven, Garnet held him back by the arm.

"Zidane," There was a frown on her face, for she too, read the pamphlet. "Over twenty-three street fights happen everyday on the road. This place is too dangerous, we can't go in."

Zidane gave a growl, "Ahgr, Com'on we _have_ to go get the stupid warrior, remember? Besides, street fights are going to be on the streets, I'll be inside drinking.

Kuja nodded to himself, "Good point."

"Hey," Shannon sighed and nudged Zidane aside. "Quit wasting my valuable time and com'on." The whole group went inside the city, following 'The Great One.'

Inside, the city seemed nothing like the fighting horrors in the pamphlets. Flowers bloomed over dazzling fountains, joyful people talking among themselves, fuzzy little creatures were running around, and the strong incenses burned, spreading attracting fumes.

"Wow, what a pretty place. I want a castle here." Shannon looked at the place in awe.

"We have one three miles north of this place. You know the limestone one?" Kuja pointed to the north of the city.

"Yeah….But I want another one here."

With a sigh, Kuja mumbled under his breath, "Difficult."

"Hey look, the first bar." Zidane ran into a tavern that was called 'The Slicer'. The sign looked as if it had splattered blood on it.

Yuna looked at the name in disgust. "Well, _that's_ an inviting place."

"Well, _I _think it's adorable…." Shannon started with a sharp voice, but then dribbled off as someone walked by with a sparkling red, flame sword. "Wow…."

Kuja sighed again at how Shannon's attention could be easily taken by such violent weapons, yet that's one other thing the two had in common. To get 'The Wonderful' out of her trance, Kuja pointed to the bar, "Look Shannon, they might have some Diet Pepsi here."

"I want Diet Pepsi!"

"Come on everyone, drinks are on Shannon-except for Zidane." Kuja had to put that at the end of his sentence otherwise he'd get in a big dept. Light knows, Zidane would clean the city of beer when he has the chance.

"There's no way I'm going in that vile place. This whole city is just an act…of some sort." Yuna crossed her arms and scowled at the sight.

Garnet nodded in agreement to Yuna's suspiciousness, but then stopped to think when she saw someone selling flowers at the corner. "I like those pretty flowers. I think I'll buy some for Zidane, come on Eico." After Garnet shared her random thought the two girls left.

While watching them leave, Dark put an arm around Kasey's shoulder. "I can use a drink. How 'bout you, sweetheart?"

Kasey stepped an arms reach away from Dark, "Um, I need to go over here now."

"Well I don't like to look of this place. I want to leave. Let's go, Tidus." Yuna grabbed Tidus' sleeve, but he didn't move.

"You know, maybe we should sit by that waterfall. We could eat dessert while we listen to the violin and the other instruments that they're playing." Tidus smiled at her, pointing the porch of a romantic restaurant, but Yuna didn't catch the hint.

"Tidus, I want to leave. There's something about this place…." Yuna eyed everyone with suspicion.

"Well, if you don't want the spot by the waterfall, I'm sure me an Kasey can occupy it." Dark smiled as Kasey heard her name and scowled.

"No! That spot is mine, even if I have to fight you for it."

"But you're leaving. If you're not going to use it, why-"

"We're not leaving!"

Yuna put her hands on her hips and glared at Tidus, "Yes, we are."

"No, we're not and were going to sit at that spot regardless if you wish it or not." Tidus grabbed hold of Yuna's sleeve and practically dragged her to the 'spot.' Then it took some effort to sit her down and stay.

"Darn, that was the most romantic place here." Dark mumbled.

"Aww, they look so cute…." Shannon awed at the two lovers by the waterfall. "Okay I want my Diet Pepsi." Shannon turned away bluntly and headed inside to sit down, followed by the other three. Zidane was already drinking down shot after shotas if he was a taste tester. Then he would make some comment about them.

"So, what'll it'd be?" the waitress looked at Dark and smiled.

"I'll take a 'Blue Kieo', and my beautiful princess will have-"

Kasey cut him off "Wine cooler." Harsh as Kasey would act towards Dark; she just couldn't bring herself to be mad at Dark's nicknames for her.

"I'll take a 'Smirnoff' and my adorable women will have a Diet Pepsi."

The waitress shook her head at Kuja, "I'm sorry we don't carry Diet Pepsi, would you like something else?"

Kuja smacked his fist on the table that made everyone jump. "Damn it!"

"Kuja?" Shannon gave him a confused look.

"What on earth is a bar with no Diet Pepsi?"

"It's not a big deal, Kuja-"

Kuja signaled Shannon to be quiet and that he'll take care of it. He turned back to the waitress "Is there any place that has some?"

"No, we don't carry any of the stuff through out the city."

Kuja clutched his fist and took a breath. "Fine. Shannon, let's get out of here."

"Kuja its fine I'll take something else."

"No it's not. If my wife wants a Diet Pepsi, she's going to get one. Now, let's go." They were on their way out when one guy came over towards Shannon, "You're Shannon-I mean, 'The Great, Almighty Shannon'?"

"Yeah, I am"

The guy turned to everyone in the bar, whom where already watching because of Kuja's scene-except got the half drunk genome-, and announced "It's 'The Great One'."

Half the people got down on their knees and repeated, "We're unworthy," While the other half pulled out their cameras. One little girl came and brought Shannon a rose and, three other men came to shine her boots.

Kuja growled at everyone in the bar, "Ahrg, the city of the damned. Can't we go anywhere where there aren't any worshipers!"

"Nope. What can I say, I'm Shannon. Besides, you're my number one fan." Shannon smiled as she nudged Kuja. "Can't believe you'd make a scene, just to get my attention."

"Lady Shannon, Miss Wonderful," A guy in his mid twenties and muscular built pushed though the crowd. "My lady-"

"Hey she's _my_ lady!"

"Kuja," Shaking her head at him, Shannon listened to what the man had to say.

"Well, your greatness, I …um…have forged a new weapon- a sword, and I was wandering if you'd have a look at it and a…." The guy stuttered as he was searching for the words he wanted to say.

"Sure." Shannon turned to her friends and Kuja. "I got to buy a present for Kuja, be right back."

Kasey got up and ran to the door where Shannon was heading- to get away from Dark. "I'll come too," and the two girls went on their way following the blacksmith.

Kuja sighed as the door closed behind his love and her friend. "I 'have,' Shannon- 'I _have_ to buy Kuja a present.' He sat down while he slowly mumbled to himself. "How can anyone worship someone with bad grammar?

Dark slouched down with his Chin in his hands. "Why won't that green-eyed beauty give me a chance? Why can't she let go and move on to some one better? Her fiancé is not coming back."

The two of them sighed. They looked miserable slouching in their chairs and staring at nothing in particular. Zidane noticed the two and stumbled over- not even half way of testing all the drinks in that one bar. "Hey- (hic). I know….recognize (hic)…." Zidane gulped down the drink in his hand and then called over the waitress, "Miss, two shots and a bottle of whiskey for the depressed men…." After Zidane finished his sentence he then gave a blank stare, "Call for help because…think my heart stopped." With that the genomes eyes rolled to the back of his head and he fell to the floor unconscious.

Every one in the bar gasped at the sight. The waitress stepped back with a faint express as some one close by to check if Zidane was okay. "There's no pulse! Quick, does anyone know CPR!"

Kuja shook his head at the actions of the people and held his hand up to get there attention, "There's no need for that, he'll be fine." Kuja made a fist and smacked Zidane in the chest. Zidane's eyes popped open and he started to breathe again. "See, he's fine. Now bring me my whiskey and shots.

Zidane coughed and had short breath, "What happened!" Amazingly he was sober again.

Kuja looked down at him with no expression, "Eh, don't worry 'bout it. What's the last thing you drank?"

"Um….The 'Deadly Heart-Breaker'."

The silver haired genome nodded, "Don't drink it again." Zidane shrugged, got up, dust himself off, and then went back to the counter to start drinking again.

After the conflict died down Dark changed the topic, "Do you think Kasey hates me?"

Kuja answered after he poured the two shots, "Naw, she's 'head over heels' for you. She's just waiting out of respect for Squall. Tell ya what, take her on a date and if she purposely sabotages the living hell out of it, she likes you."

"Hmm…a date. No one can refuse a date with me." Stroking his chin Dark thought up of the perfect evening. "I'm gonna need some money….How could I….I'll take Kasey's advice and steal some!" Dark cleaned the tables clear of cash, pick-pocketed the men, and kissed the waitresses while sneaking away their every last tip. Then he left the bar giving Kuja his thanks.

"Now _there's_ a role model for Zidane." Kuja replied under his breath and re-poured his drink. He sighed at how the others were with their girls or pursuing to get them (Zidane being an exception). "At least their girls aren't prancing all high and mighty while them in the darkness to themselves."


	42. Shiny sword

"Here it is, your greatness." The guy held up a huge sword. The blade was a 'flamish' silver-blue. The hilt was a dead black with a moon gem. The sword about two yards long, the blade was five inches wide and two inches thick. A fabulous life ender.

Shannon saw the magnificent glory and she had to admit, it was more precious then her. Picking it up, she tested it's momentum and power-it weighted a ton.

"Aw, Kasey, looky at this; isn't it beautiful?"

The man gestured at the sword, "It's made of the finest crystals and diamonds, for the blade. The hilt is wrapped in natural black dragon skin, and the gem, well…it's just for a senses of style."

"Oh, indeed. You've certainly out done yourself. How much are you selling it for?" Shannon's eyes have never seemed to turn away from the sword.  
"For 250,000gil, but it was mostly intended for a man."

"Yes, of course. You wouldn't dare to catch a woman handling such a masculine weapon like this," she started to form battle stances with the crystal sword.

"I see…." The man gave her a confused look as Shannon pretended to attack a monster, and made a 'whoosh' sound effect.

'The Greatness' noticed the awkwardness in the man's voice and giggled, "It's a present for some one else, besides me. –It's not for me, nor a girl." The blacksmith nodded in an understanding shock. It's not common for people being worthy enough for Shannon's gifts. "Here, let me give you the money for it-"

"Hold it!" A man in red Japanese clothing, sunglasses and a sling came up to the counter. "I believe I'm going to have that sword."

"Believe whatever you want, but I'm buying this and therefore it's mine."

"Ha. It's against the law for women to buy weapons, they might hurt themselves."

Shannon's face flared by the insult. No one has the right to do such a vile act against her, unless they're her relatives or Kuja. Shannon turned to the counter and grabbed the sword, with much effort. "Let's brawl and we'll see who gets hurt. Odds are against that it'll be me, you should know that if you know who I am."

"I'm aware that you have to be a cute, hot-headed blonde."

Honored that she was called cute, Shannon put hand to her heart, "Oh, thank you…." But then she realized the man also said 'hot headed' "…Wait, that's not right. I'm the Ultimate Shannon-everything goes my way- and I'll have you regret it if you ever forget."

"Ah. Well, I'd imagine it'd be hard even for me to forget the most annoying, self-centered, arrogant, and impatient, miss universe."

Shannon gritted her teeth at the truthful comment. "Yeah, most of the time, but I will be still addressed as 'The greatness'." Shannon laid 250,001gil (she lost count) on the counter, "I'll deal with you later." With that Shannon turned to the door. However, as she stalked out, the goon with the sling came up and tried to steal it away, "Mine! Mine! –Let go! I'll bite you!" Unfortunately the man succeeded gripping the sword out of the girl's hands. He then ran off with it, leaving Shannon following, and cursing behind.

Kasey watched them leave and continued to look at the weapons, yet she was thinking about Squall, and then Dark. "Squall will come back, expecting me to be waiting, but Dark…." As if her thoughts came true, Dark entered the shop.

"Kasey, my angel, now don't get mad. How 'bout we get to know each other-just a dinner, show, and maybe a walk….You know- please?" Dark threw on his pathetic, yet charming smile that Kasey could not keep resisting.

"Oh, Okay."


	43. Getting drunk once again

"Oh no….Can't take anymore liquids…." Zidane struggled as he tried to drink the last drop from his 303rd glass.

"The bartender figured that the genome wasn't going to have anymore so he handed him a piece of paper, "You bill, sir."

"Huh, oh. Put it on my tab."

"You don't have on here, sir."

"Well, then put it on Merry and Pippin's tab." Zidane knew those two had to have one at every bar.

"They haven't been around in quit a few weeks. I don't think any bar has seen them for a while. So, their tab is blocked out."

Zidane sighed and looked at the bill disgustedly. He looked over to Kuja and patted him on the back, "Hey there, buddy ole-pal, my Bro., can I ask a small favor of you?"

"No Zidane I'm not paying for your drinks." Knowing what the beer loving genome always would ask for, Kuja predicted the right answer.

"But it's only 5,025gil"

"Why don't you just fall off a cliff, and drink as much beer as you want in hell."

"Fine. I can take a hint….Wait, why am I going to hell-"

"Street fight, street fight!" a guy by the window announced the good news as he pointed outside. Everyone got up from their seats and ran out chanting 'street fight, street fight'.

"Hey I love street fights, let's go watch, Kuja." Dragging Kuja by the arm, Zidane lead the him out.

It was hard to see what was going on with a huge crowd cheering and betting, yet for some reason half were in shock. Kuja found out shortly.

"Ow, Damn it!"

"Now give it back, or do I have to _take_ it back."

Kuja quickly pushed through the crowd. There were some who were too stubborn to move, which caused Kuja to uses physical force and most of the people ended up falling to the ground, taking others with them. Eventually, Kuja made it to the actual fight and saw who he expected to see- Shannon. Kuja ran to Shannon just before she was able to do any drastic damage. "Shannon, what did you do now?"

"Huh," Shannon gave a blank look, unexpecting to see Kuja.

"Come on, you're creating a scene…a really big one." Kuja dragged the girl by the arm as she yelled.

"Kuja, let go! I got to kill him. I must so I will." The crowd formed a circle around Kuja, Shannon, and the guy in red, waiting for the next attack to be acted.

Kuja sighed and swung Shannon in front of him, where they are face to face. "Didn't you read the pamphlet? It's against the city's law for women to fight."

"But he has my sword….I just bought that…."

"It's also against the law for you to buy weapons." Kuja gave her a confused look, "How did you get by on that one?"

Shannon glared bitterly, "Since when did 'laws' comes before me?"

"Apparently before your time." The sarcasm in her husband's voice made Shannon frown.

"Remind me to change that-by destroying this place- after I kill _him._" Glaring at the moron in sunglasses, her anger raged.

"Women can't kill either." The thief mocked, swinging around his new sword.

"Let's see you try saying that once I slit your throat! Like I care a blazing light about laws. I have a damn right to defend myself." The whole crowd gave a gasp that gave Shannon a confused look.

"I think these people are quite strong about their laws. If you do anything to displease them, you might loose some worshipers."

Shannon bit her bottom lip. "There all going to perish with the city, once I get through with it. What I want I want is more important."

The vile things that Shannon said were starting to scare Kuja. "You know that you hate loosing worshipers, you're just going to have to let the sword go." Kuja shook his head, "you and your material items."

Shannon gave Kuja a hard glare and had a flat voice, "You're not even standing up for me. Inconceivable. Light knows Seifer would be over there, kicking _his_ arce, but that's because he 'loves' me. You won't even defend me." Shannon turned away from Kuja's eyes. "Pssh, last time I buy you anything. Maybe that goon should keep the Crystal sword I was going to give to you for our anniversary, but it seems you don't even deserve it."

Kuja blinked, "That's my sword?" Surprisingly he caught that Shannon said she bought him a gift.

"Yes, but now he stoled it and it's 'against the law' for me to get it back. These people are so unfair to women-to me."

"That sword is for me….It's pretty."

"Out of all the things we do for you men, you can't even let us defend ourselves, even if it's to our loving husbands-well, not mine. We're the brains of the world and broad, we smooth everything, and are thoughtful, caring…."

"That sword is…mine."

"Heh, if you think about it, this is why I rule the world, wouldn't you think, Kuja?"

"Uh…." Kuja wasn't listening to anything Shannon had said once she mentioned the sword was his. He was stumped on how to answer, "Uh-huh, you're right honey. I'm sorry, I'll go get my sword back for you." He gave Shannon a kiss on the side of her mouth and walked away to face his opponent, while Shannon- not believing that he paid attention to anything she said- turned to watch the silver-haired genome fight.

The guy with the sling smiled as the whole conversation between the couple had finally ended. "Ha, your woman can't fight your battle because of city rules?"

"No, she fights her _own_ battles, except for this one. She also likes to cause problems because she's obsessed with…things women would normally like to keep at peace." Kuja said the last part as if to explain the argument he just has with his wife.

"Oh, so that's what's wrong with her. I figured there had to be something since she ended up with you. Poor girl."

"There's nothing wrong with her." Then Kuja shook his head and said to himself, "_That comment was directed at you!"_ Kuja clutched the man's throat, took hold of the Crystal sword, and threw the man aside. "Don't insult me when I'm an obviously a better fighter then you."

"I think we're on the same level." With that the man with the sling tripped Kuja- and the idiot that he is- Kuja fell backwards.

"You're not suppose to fall over." Shannon yelled out, and then added with a giggle to herself, "Even though it is kind of cute." She yelled from the crowd again, "get up and fight like a man…or a genome." Noticing Zidane crawling on the ground- which was the only way for him to get through the crowd-Shannon helped him up, "Didja you get him drunk?"

"No of course not….You can't physically make someone drink five, um I mean two, bottles of whiskey." Zidane's smile made Shannon sigh unhopefully.

Kuja waited for the dizziness to pass before he stood up, or 'could' stand up on his feet. His opponent and the crowd laughed at him from hitting the ground. Kuja unsheathe his original sword that was less pretty and powerful then his supposedly new one. Although, it didn't do any good when the guy in red attacked and sliced off the weak blade. The genome decided to use magic. He summoned fire, but the Crystal blade reflected the attack, and flamed someone towards Kuja's left.

No one paid any attention to the guy's screams. All it was, was fire he'll be okay if the fire is ever put out. Eventually, it should.

Kuja flinched as he watched his mistake running away with his hands in the air. Then Kuja decided to take a new approach. He walked back to Shannon.

The one-armed man grinned as he assumed he won. "Ha ha, giving up already? You can't beat me. I have the sword! I am invincible-" He was cut off by a hard blow to the head that knocked him out for a while.

Kuja picked up his sword, happy to be reunited again. The crowd cheered, bets were paid, and everyone went home happy.

"Well done, but why didn't you throw your own shoe?" Shannon hopped over to her boot and slipped it back on, hanging on to Kuja for balance.

"I would, but I ran out of detergin and I didn't want to get my socks dirty." Kuja then smiled and swung his sword around, regardless if he hits anyone.

Shannon gave him an awkward look, "Alright….I guess that's a good enough reason."

Kuja laughed and finished his explainion, "Yeah, that, and the fact that your steel- soled boots would do more damage then mine, but I honestly thought you already knew that."

The man in the red clothes slowly came to, yet Kuja was prepared and he held his sword up by the man's throat. "Kill him, Kuja. Kill him."

"You are really obsessed with fights and killing, aren't you?" Zidane replied as he stepped away from Shannon.

"N-no….Well, he _did_ steal from me, it serves him right."

Just then Garnet and Eico came running along saying "No, stop. Don't kill him."

Garnet held up the list to Zidane, "You can't kill him, he's Auron."

"Whoopdeedee." 'The Wonderful' could care less who anybody is as long as they know _her_ name. "So what if he's Auron, I'm Shannon. That's Kuja."

"Ooh, ooh- I'm Zidane! I'm Zidane! ….right?"

"Well of course, no one else wants to be you." Kuja sighed at the density of his demented brother. "All dumb people are stupid."

"That's only a stereotype," Protesting, Zidane crossed his arms.

"Yeah, but that one's true," ignoring Zidane's glare Shannon turned to Kuja. "Are you going to kill him or not? Either do it now or put your sword away; you're gonna end up hurting someone with that thing."

"No don't! Zidaney, you can't kill him he's on the list. We have to get all the warriors" Garnet whined as she continued to fling the list around Zidane's head.

"Okay, I get the hint. Now get that otta my face."

Auron looked around, not understanding what's going on. "The hell are you talking about? How do you know my name?"

"Silence, you're unworthy." Shannon kicked the dirt, and a rock hit Auron in the head.

"Women can't throw rocks." Growling, Auron rubber the side of his head.

"The crowds gone, and I didn't throw it-I kicked it. Learn to tell the difference." Shannon gave Auron a smug look.

"Kicking a rock is still breaking the law, and you can still be punished for it."

Shannon then put on an innocence look, "Pssh- What rock? I didn't kick no rock."

Shaking his head, Kuja corrected her grammar. "You didn't kick _any_ rock, Shannon."

Shannon gave a scowl at him for his obsession in changing Shannon's form of speaking, but then smiled and nods. "See, Kuja agrees with me." After that being said, Kuja sighed a shook his head again.

"I can take you in for breaking half the top laws." Auron stood up and dusted off his clothes.

Rolling her eyes, Shannon retorted, "Whatever, your word against mine."

Just then there was someone yelling while he ran towards the group, "There she is! That's the girl who bought a weapon, started a fight, and insulted the men!" Two knights followed the snitch as he pointed to Shannon. "That's her, the blonde!"

The two knights came up and took out their handcuffs, "Miss, we have to take you in."

As Shannon looked up and down at the knights, she said nothing and had no exchange in expression, yet Kuja still saw some fear in her eyes. To lighten the mood he walked to his wife and replied, "See honey, noticed that the educated men didn't say 'Miss, we _got _to take you in." Kuja gave a smirked, but it quickly vanished when Shannon glared at him.

The bartender saw the knights and came running outside, "Arrest that man too." He pointed to Zidane, "He didn't pay his bill. Zidane backed up and hid behind Kuja. "He owes me 5,025gil."

Zidane nudged to Kuja whispering, "I think he's talking to you."

Then the bartender turned to Kuja, "and _you_ didn't pay for your whiskey."

Kuja's raised his eyes in questioning, "Oh, I didn't? My apologies." He reached in his pocket for his money, but he encountered nothing. "Blast that Dark! He stoled my money!" Kuja looked back at the disapproving bar owner and gave a slight smile, "Hehehe….Place it on _his _check." Kuja pushed Zidane in front of the knights, and took a step back.

Crossing her arms, Shannon turned to Kuja, "Kuja, you're not just going to walk away and have them put me in a cell, are you?"

"No, of course not honey." Kuja backed away, eyeing the knights, "I'm going to 'run 'and come back for you later." With that he turned around and sped off, leaving Shannon and Zidane behind.

"Kuja!"


	44. A good date gone ruined

Meanwhile, Kasey and Dark were out getting to know each other. "Hungry?" Dark smiled as he led the way.

Kasey had an undecided look on her face, "Uh….."

"-Of course you are. Come, this is the finest restaurant." He led Kasey into the restaurant that really was fine, taking that it was in a city with at least fifty-two bars. Lovely candle-lights sparkled up the big chandelier as Kasey gave Dark an awkward look.

"You can't afford this."

"Oh, can I?" Dark answered her with a questionable look as he held out a wad of cash and fanned it out.

Kasey's eyes widen at the money, "Where did you get all of that?"

"Uh…." Knowing that he'd never get the girl of his dreams if he told her that he pick-pocketed from almost everyone he walked by, Dark quickly thought up a lie. "I'm 'Dark', do I need an explanation?" He put on a charming smile. When Kasey seemed as if she had no comment, Dark walked up to the waiter and asked to be seated, "The best seat in the house, my good man."

The waiter gave Dark a stuck up look with his noise raised up in the air. "Well, I would, but by the way you're dressed, I don't think that you have enough to pay."

Dark slammed fifty-nine hundred on the counter with anger, upset that he didn't steal the leather jacket and pants- that he was wearing- for nothing. "Will _that_ be enough?"

The waiter was at first was in shock, but then he smiled greedily and nodded, "Yes, very good sir. Right this way." The couple followed the waiter to their table. They went up a flight of stairs onto a balcony with a candle-light dinner, under the stars. Diamond glitter frosted the silver plates, the glasses, napkins, and the purple flowers. The waiter gestured the two to sit and then he put the menus in front of Kasey and Dark- who was nice enough to push in Kasey's chair. "Will there be anything to drink?"

"I'll just have water." Kasey retorted as she reached for the menu

Dark gave his date an add face and turned up to the waiter, "Well, I was thinking more of your finest champagne."

The waiter nodded in agreement, "Good choice sir. And what you like to eat?"

"I'll have…um…I guess fish?" Dark looked at Kasey puzzled as if he was questioning her if that's the right choice. She responded with her own confused look.

The waiter then waited for Kasey to say what she would like. She took another glance at the menu, "Hmm…I'll have…uh, this looks good." Kasey pointed to a meal in the menu. Randomly, she then continued on pointing to other things on the menu, "Hmm, and this. Oh, and also this. Oh- and this looks good. You know what, I'll just have everything."

"Excellent choice, madam." A little while later the food came. Kasey sat blankly at her meals-not caring it was there.

Dark gave her a questioning look, "Well aren't you going to eat?"

"Meeeee?" Kasey turned towards him, and then shook her head. "I'm not hungry anymore."

"Well….Okay, then….Do you want to go?"

"Sure, why not." Kasey was astound by the way she was acting and thought to herself; _"Wow, why the heck am I acting this way? I mean Dark is a hotty, but...Come on, who could take Squally's place? No one! ...But should I at least give Dark a nice time?"_

With a sigh, Dark called for the waiter, "Check please." Leaving a fat pile of cash to pay the bills, they left.

"Well, I guess I'll be heading back to the inn now." As Kasey started to walk away, Dark grabbed her arm and pulled her back.

"Oh no. Not yet. I still have a whole evening planned –but not on spending so much money…. Besides, we still haven't gotten to know each other." Dark led her by the hand top his next destination. However, Kasey caught a glimpse at a shopping mall, and halted him.

"I'm getting cold." She wrapped her arms around herself to give Dark a chilly expression.

Having a thought of what to do, Dark took off his leather jacket ans put it around Kasey's shoulders. "How's that, my lamb-cake?"

Kasey looked at his jacket in disgust. "No, I want my own. Hey, let's go in there and you can buy me one, please?" She pointed to the mall and gave Dark her puppy dog eyes.

"Uh…. Well, Okay. If you need it." They went in and ended up spending another 200gil for a warm, stylish, fancy coat. "Okay, you happy now? We have to hurry and get to the park."

"Why are we going to the p-" Kasey wasn't able to finish her sentence before Dark started to drag her along, running at a quick pace. Sadly, Kasey couldn't keep up and she kept tripping, so Dark had to carry her the rest of the way.

When they got to the park, Dark stopped in front of a horse and carridge. "Here we are, Honey-bumpkins. A lovely stroll around the park."

"In a horse and buggy? These things are so stupid. Did you know that horses stink? I'm not going to ride in that."

"For a good cause you will." Dark helped her in as she struggled to get out. Although, once the horse started to move, Kasey gave up and pouted. The driver ten lead the two of them around the park.

"Now isn't this nice?" Dark wrapped his arm around Kasey and then pulled out a present for her. "Here."

Kasey eyed him before taking the gift, but when she opened it she gasped in surprise. It was a necklace. A sapphire necklace that shined the moonlight and glittered the stars.

Sitting there speechless, Kasey tried to thank Dark, "Wow….It's beautiful….I don't know what to say, honestly…." She drifted off silently and the two of them rode away in the night.


	45. What is prison really like?

"This is absurd! How dare you throw me in a cell! I deserve equal rights!" Shannon kicked and yelled as the two knights lead her away in the towns prison. There were other women in the cages and begging men reaching though the bars with there filthy hands. They all stared at the new comers while making their welcome greetings.

"Hey there, blondys. Welcome to you new home."

"The girl looks a bit familiar…."

"Look! That guy has a tail!"

"Do they both have tails?"

"Naw, they're probably a couple."

Shannon glared at the criminals, disgusted at the way they spoke about her. "There's no way I'm staying down here!"

"Give it up Shannon. Look, I bet you 5025gil that, that's our cell." Zidane nodded at the empty room that the knights halted them at. Cobwebs were in the corners, dirt and bugs covered the floor-most of the insects were squashed into the pavement- the rats crawled everywhere, while the spiders hung above. A red color substance stained the back wall as if someone had been killed in the cell.

"This is what we call our 'lucky' cell." One of the knights laughed as he pushed Zidane in.

Unlike her Brother-in –law, Shannon put up more of a fight, "I'm not going in there! You can't make me! There's not even a bed or bathroom, I'll get dirty! It's filthy!" She struggled the guards force as she screamed, squirmished, and sheirked. "Do not put me in there or I'll swear, I'll gouge your eyes, rip out your tongue-make you eat it- and then tear off your arms, so I can beat you with them."

Apparently the knights stopped frozen in their tracks. As Shannon looked back at them in confused, she saw they had fear in their eyes. "Unhand me." The goons backed away releasing Shannon's arms. Still confused that the knights are finally listening, Shannon raised an eyebrow. "Let me free…?"

"I'm sorry, but _that_ we can not do. We are required to keep you here till your trial."

"A trial. Wonderful." Sarcastic was in her voice as she rolled her eyes.

"-But we can offer you anything else, your greatness. Just don't carry out that threat. Please, I have children." They bowed their heads meekly and waited for Shannon's reply.

"Hmm….Very well then. You," She nodded towards one knight, "take me to a place-decent on my taste-and you go get me some M&Ms, serve me a mushroom pizza and some Diet Pepsi."

"We don't have any Diet Pepsi here, though."

"Then leave this dump and find a place were they do. You have an hour, I suggest you start now." The man took off running and the other guard led her to her luxurious room, leaving Zidane locked in his cell behind.

"Stupid, self-centered, selfish, famous, evil, princess. I can't believe she left me down here, abandoning me. How could she do that after all I've done for her….Now that I think about it, I don't think I ever done her a favor, hmm….No, She still owes me for…for…um…drinking her share of beer, yeah, that would work. The inconsiderate Shannon."

Zidane pouted in his room, talking to himself until someone interrupted him. "Psst." The genome looked to his right and noticed that Cloud, a former warrior, was also locked up in the prison cells. "You're here with _her_?" He pointed to the exit where Shannon and the guard walked out, and gave a scowl.

"I was.…"

"I thought you were the 'good' guys, why are you teamed up with _her_?"

"What do you mean? We _are_ the good guys."

Cloud shook his head in disagreement, "She's the leader of the 'bad' guys who makes life difficult. You know, Kuja, Siefer, Sephiroth, Kajda."

"So, you're against her….?"

"Well, sort of. I'm part of the A.S. Slums."

"Heehee, A.S.S…" Zidane smiled and laughed to himself, but Cloud gave a uncomprehending look. "Ahem…." Zidane scratched his head while thinking what else to say. Before he was about to speak again something fuzzy brushed against his arm. Looking down, Zidane saw a huge, red-eyed, fanged rat that gave an evil squeak. "Ahhh! Zidane shuffled away until his back hit the brick wall. Remembering the dark red stain that was on the wall behind him, Zidane quickly jumped to an old cot.

"Hey look, Mr. Fuzzlumps is visiting the new guy. I think he likes you."

"Its-a-rat!" Zidane said in short breaths.

"Don't call him a rat, You'll hurt his feelings. Come'r Mr. Fuzzlumps." The rodent ran to the hobo two cells down from Zidane's.

A hairy, bearded man across from Zidane put on a rejected look. "…But it's my turn to pet Mr. Fuzzlumps."

"So, what are you in for Tailboy." One of the criminals asked with a toothy smile. He obviously been in prison way too long by the way he looked and grinned.

"Nothing bad." Everyone gave Zidane an odd look.

"Really? The usually put the worst criminals in that cage and let them die.

"Yep. Old Sammy Soy was the last corpse in there and he created the worst crime in the records." One of the men shook his head. "He stoled alcoholic drinks, or you can say he didn't pay for his bill and thought to get away with it. So, tell us what you did.

All the criminals waited for Zidane to answer. They looked like little kids who were waiting to be read a story book. "Well, I um….certainly didn't steal any drinks." He put on a fake smile and hoped they bought it.


	46. well apparantly like this

"I am so bored. No wander everyone hates prisons." Shannon sat on a feather mattress with thick, warm, cotton quilts on top. She laid back on the light blue satin pillows staring at the ceiling after taking a hot bath, showered with clean scented soap, painted her nails, styled her hair, unstyled it, watched a romance, ate chocolate, and just plain running around.

Now, two minuets after thinking of what to do next, she lumped on the bed. "This must be the way how they torture you. Leaving you completely bored."

While Shannon talked to herself the guard came it to interrupt her. "The most wonderful, sorry to intrude but your trial takes-"

Shannon cut him off- not really listening what he was saying anyways- "Do you have a calculator?"

"Uh, why yes, I do. Would you like to borrow it?" The guard held it out to her and Shannon took it and walked back the bed punching buttons. After the uncommon question the guard went back to what he was saying. "You're trial is in an hour. This man will be your representative."

Kuja flowed in the room with a surprising look at the room. "Wow, they arrest you and place you in a fine room like this. I wander if Zidane is down the hall having pillow fights."

Shannon answered his thought without looking up. "Naw, he's down in the basement, eating bugs in a dirty, blood stained cell, and maybe talking to morons like himself." The girl then giggled to herself, "Teehee. Look it says 'Shoes'!" Shannon held the calculator upside down showing the word 'Shoes'.

Exchanging glances with the guard, Kuja turned back to Shannon and explained the plan. "Shannon, you've broken the top three laws and," Kuja paused for a second to take out a piece of paper and skimmed what it said. "And your formal sentence-if proven guilty- you are required to judge this years squash and cranberry contest…in tasting berries and then deciding who grown the best vegetable."

Shannon's eyes lit up in shock. "They're making me taste cranberries and…and look at Squash!" The blonde gave a gasp of horror, "They know my weakness. Kuja, you can't let them do that. It's…it's torture."

"Don't worry; I have a perfect speech to get you out and free. All you have to do is be quiet and do what you're told. We'll start with you saying sorry and that you're only human- if you are proven guilty- but I have a plan that hopefully won't fail. If that happens, will just give them the permit for the castle to the east." Shannon groaned and put on a depressed look. "I know it's a loss, but I'm trying my best. You got yourself into this."

"Huh?" Shannon looked up at Kuja, "Oh, no. It's not that I'm upset about the castle- I want to have one here, anyways- it's just that I accidentally pressed the 'clear' button and now it doesn't say 'Shoes' on the calculator anymore." Shannon sighed hopelessly, "My life will never be the same." She threw the calculator aside and slouched her shoulders. "Stupid clear button."


	47. are you guilty?

Later that day, Kuja, Shannon and three guards walked up to the 45th level in the trial building, formally known as 'The Building of Trials'. The building had a total of 56 stories with 107 steps between.

"104, 105, 106….Ha, there isn't 107 steps between each floor." Shannon turned to the guards as if it's their fault that the steps were not accurate.

"Actually Shannon, you skipped number fifty-two on the way up." Kuja pointed out, which surprised Shannon that her was listening.

"Oh…." As Shannon started up the next flight of a hundred and seven stairs to the 22nd floor, she noticed something missing. "Kuja, My earring is gone. I think it must of fallen on the stairs."

"Relax; we can always get new ones."

"-But these ones are my favorite because you gave them to me when we were first going out…." Shannon lowered her head and her eyes became glossy. Sighing, Kuja sent one of the guards to go find it. As the knight was taking his time, Shannon lashed out in irritation, "Go faster. I want my earring before I reach the next level."

The man picked up speed, but then tripped and rolled down the stairs screaming. At the seventy-seconded step or so, there was a loud 'crack' and the guard was no lander screaming, but was still tumbling down the floors.

Shannon tisked, shaking her head in disapproval. "He's not looking hard enough, and when he reaches the bottom, he then has to come all the way back up here." She paused for a moment and then something caught her eye, "Oh hey." She bent down and picked up the object, "Look, I found my earring. Okay, we can go now."

Eventually through time, they reached the floor were the judging begins. A previous one had just ended with a crazy guy in a straight jacket was being taken away, "No! I am not crazy! I can fly, I can really fly!"

The judge banged the table with his wooden hammer. "Order in the court. Order." The judge re-straightened his powder wig and then announced the next session. "Bring in the next offence."

Shannon, Kuja and the goons walked up to the front of the room. One of the knights led Shannon up to the stand and made her place her left hand upon The Greatest-Shannon's best selling book that over sold the bible.

"Please raise your right hand" The next sentence came out fast quick and scary, "Do you tell the truth, only the truth, and nothing, but the truth; for if you don't you shall be condemned and rot for eternal life?"

"…Yeah, sure…I will." Shannon stared at him with an alert look.

"Your Greatness, you have broken the top three laws of the city: Buying a sword, participating in a street fight, and throwing rocks."

"It was _a_ rock, and _that_ I didn't do." Shannon mumbled under her breath as she rolled her eyes.

"How do you plead?"

Shannon turned to the judge, "I am innocent, your honor-"

Kuja quickly butted in to say his part in being Shannon's defender. Flipping his note cards to find the one he wants, he cleared his throat and began his speech. "Your honor I can prove my client is innocent and-"

The judge hit down his hammer to silence Kuja, "Okay, you convinced me. The wonderful Shannon, you are excused of all charges." The judge closed the case and yelled, "Next."

Shannon smiled, jumped over the stand and ran to Kuja. "Yay! Kuja you got me out! My hero!"

Surprised and confused, Kuja spoke disappointedly, "I didn't get to do anything."

"Oh look. There's the betrayer. Leaving me in that dirty cell, petting rats."

They turned to the voice and saw Zidane scolding them down. His hair was messed and matted, scum on his face, some dried blood on his clothes that look like they've been threw a lot, and he had a fowl smell. Zidane looked exactly what he usually would every night.


	48. The trial

"You're not supposed to 'pet rats', you eat them." Kuja shook his head at the idiotic genome.

"Would the offended please step up to the stand." They nudged and pushed Zidane to the table and brought out the holy book- 'The Greatest.'

"Hold up your left hand and then place your right on the book." Zidane did so with a scowling look. "Do you swear to tell the truth, only the truth, and nothing but the truth- for if u don't you shall be condemned and rot for eternal life?"

"Yeah, yeah. What ever."

"Zidane Monkeyson?" The guy reading the scroll gave an odd look to the uncommon name. Zidane glared as Kuja snickered in his seat. Then the man continued talking, "you have broken the most respectable role of all times. You have created the worst crime and deadliest of sins. You tried to get away with stealing beer. How do u plead?"

Zidane stood up straight and strongly said his answer, "Guilty" However, he quickly knew there was something wrong when the courtroom gasped and Kuja bursted out laughing. "…uh, I mean whatever is the opposite of guilty…. Um…unguilty?"

Shannon waited for Kuja to calm down and wipe the joyful tears from his eyes, "You know, if you want to be the almighty lawyer, you might want to try and get Zidane out of this."

"What? No, I can't. He's hopeless. Besides, I need time and skill to organize a debate speech."

"Just use your note cards that you have now. I'm sure it's the same thing."

"No, it won't work. There's a difference with stealing and having the disability to read."

"Reading disability? What do you mean- where you going to say I can't read?!"

"Well, you wouldn't have been thrown in jail if you have just read the pamphlet," Kuja smirked as he waved the pamphlet in the air, then opened it up and started to read out loud, "Rule number one….."

Biting her lower lip, Shannon grabbed the booklet out of Kuja's hands, "I'll show you what I think about your stupid pamphlet." Ripping it to shreds, Shannon put a satisfactory smile on her face. "There."

However, her smile quickly vanished when someone yelled out be hind her, "She broke the law- arrest her!"

Surprised and a little irritated, Shannon turned to Kuja who had the biggest grin, "Rule number one: Read the pamphlet. Rule number two: Do not destroy the pamphlet in anyway."

Squinting her eyes, the girl shook her head at the genome, "You have way too much time on your hands." Then she sprint off cursing as the three guards came to arrest her, and chased her down the hall.

The judge smacked his wooden hammer against the table, "Order in the court. Order; we must get back on topic. The offend claims he's 'Supposedly' Not guilty."

"Yeah, that's the word." But Zidane shut up immediately as soon as the judge scowled at him.

"You may start the questioning."

Another man well dresses in a suit stood up, "Zidane, where were you yesterday at 3pm?"

Zidane leaned back in his chair and held up his bare arm, "I don't know. I don't have a watch."

The man looked down at him disappointedly, "Okay very well. Do you even remember ever going in to the 'Slicer'?"

"No, I went to a bar."

"Was the bar's name the 'Slicer'?"

Zidane shrugged and gave a blank look, "I don't know. I just went into a bar."

The man gave an irritated sigh, "Fine, do you remember how many drinks you had?"

"Two."

"Only two drinks?"

"No, but I lost track after two."

The man gave a satisfied smile as he turned to the judge, "See, your honor, the defendant may have had so many drinks that he forgot everything."

"The judge hit down his hammer and stated the sentence, "Zidane, you are guilty of stealing beer. Take him were he can pay off his debt."

Horror struck Zidane and his eyes widen up, "Wait- what about the jury!?!? I didn't do it! Kuja, tell them I didn't do it- I'll do anything! …We're family…"

After thinking for a moment, Kuja stepped up to the front, "Hm… Your honor, what is his punishment?"

"He is to live in the dungeon for the rest of his life with the absence of beer." Zidane's face went pale.

Taking in the information, Kuja shrugged and walked up to Zidane and gave him a beer mug that said 'good times' and chop sticks. "I was going to throw those in the ocean, you know, for your funeral, but I'll just give them to you now. See ya," After he pats Zidane on the head, Kuja abandon his brother and walked out.

As soon as he reached the exit of the building, Garnet, Eico, Auron, and the other four whose dates are over, came to greet him, "Hey Kuja, you ready to go?"

He gave a shrug, "Yeah, sure… Where's Shannon ?"

"Oh, she's just outside the village, taunting the guards how they can't arrest her. Where's Zidane." Garnet's eyes sparkled eagerly as she waited for an answer."

"Um… yeah. He said he was going to catch up later. Just some personnel business he has to take care of …personally."

While they walked out of then cite, they could hear Shannon 's arguing, "I don't care what the stupid pamphlet says. If you want me to follow the rules, you're just going to have to tell me them."

The guard held out the booklet and started to cite the rules, but the spoiled blond wasn't even listening as her attention directed to Kuja, walking towards her. "Kuj-iy! Did you- wait…no, I didn't think you would."

Kuja put on an innocent look, "Did what?"

With a sigh, Shannon crossed her arms, "Zidane lost his trial and left him in jail or where ever they took him. How could you be so mean?"

"I didn't do such a thing, and its _evil_- not _mean."_

"Yes you did. You purposely condemned him to be tortured to death."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did!"

"No I didn't!"

"Yes, he did." Everyone turned their attention away from the arguing couple and saw Zidane scowling at Kuja. He was covered in mud, holding a muddy beer mug and chopsticks.

"Hey Zidane, I knew those would be useful." Kuja nudged Shannon and retorted, "See, I'm a 'good' brother. I didn't have to give him those tools to escape with."

"Aww," Shannon looked up at her husband with serenity, "That's so nice."

"Nice?!? He let them sentence me to death, and he said my last name was 'Monkeyson'!"

"Well, I couldn't let anyone know we where related."

"You don't even have a last name! How could they have possibly know?"

"Yeah… that's true. I just wanted to see how you'd react."

"Blah blah blah….No one cares." Shannon rolled her eyes and started to lead the way. "Now come, I wanna go some where that has Diet Pepsi."


	49. Triface

Once again, our heroes-to-be went off to continue their fun adventure to whatever that laid in front of them. However, walking aimlessly was the only thing that they could do since they didn't know where they were going- and it's fun to get into shape! Plus, they had no money for any other transportation. So, everyone complained along the way.

"Zidane, can't we stop and rest? My feet hurt."

"No. Not until I get my drink (beer, beer- need beer)." His last words were mumbled under his breath as his hands were getting shaky and his mood was grumpy.

Yuna recognized the unhappy tension though out the group. "I know how to cheer everyone up." Clearing her voice, she started to sing, _"A thousand words have never been spoken. They'll fly to you, even though I can't see- I know they're reaching you, suspended on silver wings._ _And a thousand words, one thousand embraces; will cradle you, making all your weary days seem so far-"_

Shannon 's harsh words finally stopped the summoner from singing, "You're NOT a Fantasy Idol. People rather go depth before they want you hear you try and sing." Tears rolled down Yuna's face as she turned away.

"Tidus put his arm around her and scowled at Shannon , "How could you be so inconsiderate and rude?"

Challenging the blond boy, Shannon put her arms on her waist, "What do you mean rude and inconsiderate? I was saving you all from a deathly torture."

"I think Yuna has a beautiful voice."

"No you don't, you're just sucking up to her so you can get some action. If you were smarter, maybe you'd be able to get yourself a girl that you don't have to lie to defend her."

"Why do you have to be so self-centered, arrogant, and impossible to be nice?!"

"Hey! I'm fine to get along with. In fact, I'm the perfect friend. At least I don't lie."

Feeling the stubborn girl has won, Tidus gave a sigh, "You're annoying"

"How dare you call me annoying? You know what annoying is- You're girlfriend trying to sing-"

Kuja came over to tap his girl on the shoulder, " Shannon , can you finish this later?"

"No. No, I will not-" A huge roar interrupted her. Turning to where everyone else was gawking, Shannon noticed there was a hideous, three-headed monster- known as a Tri-face –was on a charge to attack the group. After blinking a couple of times, Shannon grabbed Tidus, and pushed him towards the beast, "Okay, you win. Now, go fight." After Tidus seemed to accept the challenge, he was knocked down before he could dodge the attack.

Shannon tsked with a displeased look, and then took bets.

"I place ten gil on the hideous monster."

"Hey. Be nice, his name is Tidus."

After a whole thirty seconds, Tidus was completely knocked out, Zidane could only think about beer, Eico became poisoned by one of the beast's attack, Yuna was still crying and Dark tried to hit the beast with feathers. To be honest, feathers weren't doing anything, half the time the wind took them. Garnet even tried to hit the Tri-face, but her sight has been temporally been blind be the magic 'Blind'.

Standing on the side lines, Shannon watched the battle amusingly while Kuja blocked all the attacks strike at their direction and Kasey was getting slightly worried. Auron stood there mumbling to himself.

"Then in a bearing, but emotional voice, Auron announced, "We can't defeat that monster like this. It is time to embrace the ultimate power." Walking forwards, Auron put his arm behind his back. "Behold, I must use my secret weapon! I am now going to- …read." And as he pulled out his book, open it up, he walked away.

"I wish I could read." Shannon stared in envy of Auron as he was deeply fascinated with his leather-bound.

"What can I say; I've been trying to teach you." Kuja joked and laughed as he dodged Shannon 's hits.

"Well, _that _looks like it's working," Kasey replied sarcastically as everyone was getting subdued left and right, and Auron was reading. Shaking her head, she went up to Kuja and Shannon. "Okay, it's your turn. One of you do something before Dark gets hurt… and the others."

"Well, I'm not going to kill it, I have 100gil riding on the Tri-Face winning." Kasey scowled as Kuja pointed out his poor excuse.

"Fine _I'll_ get rid of him." Shannon pulled out her bow and arrow, and loaded up an arrow. The Tri-Face was directly in front of her, yet the girl shot the arrow to her left side. Surprisingly, the Tri-Face fell down dead, with an arrow clear through the middle head. Everyone gave a confuse look.

"How's that possible?!?! …You aimed that way…" Kasey was the firt to question as she studied the fallen beast.

"Oh, yeah. It took me a while to realize that the bow shoots at a right angle." After she put her bow away, Shannon struggled to pull out her arrow from the Tri-Face.

Knowing nothing about archery, Kasey still asked another question, "Is that even possible, shouldn't the arrow just go straight?"

"Neh, it should, but apparently, I killed it this way." Finally getting the arrow out, Shannon fell backwards as the arrow flew up- taking down a hawk. With a puzzled look, the girl yanked the arrow out of the bird. During the process she cut her hand and dropped the arrow to the ground, "Owie… Stupid arrow!" The girl clutched her hand as she tried to kick it, but the arrow was too close to the ground. "Kuja, pick up my arrow…… Kick it first."

"How hard can it be to pick up an arrow and put it in the quiver?" Mumbling, Kuja obeyed.

Shannon pouted at Kuja's dumb question, "It bit me…"


	50. Fairly and wishes

After Garnet cured her Blindness, she cheered out in joy, "Look Zidane, a cave! Maybe there's Cayol Flowers. Oh, how I wanna see the pretty glowing green blossoms." Garnet stared out in nothingness as she gave a dreamy sigh, but then she took off, running towards the cave.

"Oh yeah, go run in a deep, dark, creepy cave. It's obviously not dangerous." Zidane rolled his eyes as he and the others followed after her.

It was like walking in a deep dense forest with closed eyes on a moonless night. As Yuna stumbled around, she was getting slightly irritated, "Why are we walking in here-" With a scream, Yuna fell on her face because Tidus was too slow to catch her. When Yuna looked up, ready to complain again, she saw a blue light further in the cave.

"oOo, pretty! Com'on Zidane, let's see what it is." Taking the blonde's genome hand, Garnet ran blindly to the light. As they got closer, they noticed that it was a sparkling fountain, with pure light blue water.

"Eh, not worth the walk in the cave." Disappointed, Shannon sat next to the fountain and opened a Diet Pepsi.

"Hey, were did that come form?" Kasey pointed at Shannon 's drink with a blank face.

"Shrugging, Shannon glanced down at her drink, "No clue."

Zidane also sat down by the fountain and started to drink a pint of beer. "Ah, the good stuff."

Everyone else sat down for a rest except Auron who was nervously glancing at his watch. He shook his head in disapproval, "If I don't go now, I'll be late."

"For what?" Eico looked up at him in questioning.

"My book club. Today were discussing Blues Oceans. Sheila is such an interesting character." Auron held out his book and pointed at the cover as he explained what the book was about. Soon, though, he realized that no one was paying attention. So he left to go to his book club.

"What the? How could he just leave?!" Zidane growled as another one of there warriors took off. Looking back at his beer mug, he gave a frown, "Hey, no more? Damn it." With a pouting attitude, he threw the empty mug at the water.

"Ow!" a mysterious voice came from the fountain as the mug seem to have hit it. A little, blue fairy came out from the pool of water, rubbing her head, "What did you do that for?"

"Oh Zidane! Isn't she cute?!" Garnet ran over to pick up the fairy and cuddle her, but soon dropped the fairy as Garnet sreamed, "Ow, she bit me!" Running over to her man, Garnet started to ask pointless questions, "Is it infected, Will I die?""

The fairy then got up and made an announcement to the group, "All of you will get a total of three wishes."

Garnet was confused, "You bit me and now you're granting us wishes? …Cool!"

"Wow, three wishes… What should I wish for?"

"No, no, You all get a total of three wishes. Not three wishes each."

"What a rip off, I want a beer now." With ah 'poof', a beer suddenly appeared in Zidane's hands. "Sweet!"

"Now you have two wishes left."

Tidus tried to think what else to wish for, "Can we wish for more wishes?"

By this time, the little fairy was giving more attitude, and put her hands on her hips with a pout, "What do you think I am?"

"So can we?"

"No!"

"Hmm…" Thinking very deeply, Dark made a wise wish, "I want 100,000,000,000,000 gil."

"It is done." With a 'poof' Dark received his millions of treasure. "Now, you have one more wish, and I don't have all day."

Yuna tried to put some logic into their long decisions on what to wish for. "Well, how often do we see a fairy and get three wishes?"

"Well, I get them every week. Sometimes I get another five if I promise the fairy's that I'll let them out of their cages." Shannon made her life seem so ordinary, that everyone has that same luxury.

Apparently she was proved wrong when Yuna scowled at her. "We need to think before we wish."

"Like wishing for a beer?" Tidus arched his eyebrow at Zidane.

"Well, if you want more wishes, you can go see my sisters. Each of them will also give you three wishes."

"Sweet! Were can we find them?"

"Well, I can tell you, but…" Being a little tease that she is, the fairy gave a small smirked, and then yelled out, "I Don't Wanna!!!! Now, you still have one more wish."

"I want chocolate." Shannon said softly as she gave a sigh.

"It is done" After a flick of her wand, the fairy disappeared and Shannon ended up with her chocolate."

"oOo,, chocolate!" The blond quickly unwrapped it and took a bite, but her amused smile vanished as realized it wasn't pure milk chocolate, "Eww, it's almonds. I hate almonds!" Disappointed, she threw her candy bar on the ground.

"That was our last wish, and you threw it on the ground?!?!"

"Eww, I ateses its!"

"I don't care, I could have wished for another beer. At least that wouldn't end on the ground."

Kuja went over to Shannon 's side to stand up for his girl, "It's not her fault:

"Yes, it is!"

"No, it isn't!"

"Hey, anyone want to hear me sing?"

"NO!!!"

Later on the day, the group continued to venture on. Zidane and Kuja were still arguing, Shannon was enjoying a non-almond bar of chocolate that Kuja gave her, Eico skipped around aimlessly, Tidus was failed with reading the map, Yuna was crying because no one wanted to her sing, and Dark was still hitting on Kasey. Ah yes, our future heroes.

Eventually, they arrived to a huge cliff that over looked a wide lake. However, it was possible to make out some form of land way off in the distance. It would take days to walk along the edged to get around either the lake or to encounter a bridge.

"So…now what?"

"Let's go back, I'm out of chocolate."

Zidane rolled his eyes, "I don't care if you're out of 'hair,' we're not going back."

"But how can my hair be gone?! It loves me…" As the girl started to flip her hair a huge gust of wind blew towards them. "Oh no, my beautiful hair! It's being ruined!"

Suddenly the wind stopped, and a light blonde girl hit the ground. Yuna was in shock to see such a sight, and with her kind caring heart she ran towards the girl, "Are you okay?"

Tears were coming from her eyes. "He's going to kill… We must have peace…"

Shannon ' mouth curved in disgust, "Eww…sounds like another Aeris"

Once again the wind started up again in a form of a tornado. The defenseless blonde looked up and yelled out, "No Mitsuru, you can't!"

A voice came from the wind, "It's not suffering I wish for you, it's death." With that the light blonde girl was blown off the cliff and hit the jagged rocks on the bottom. As the wind died down a boy, at the age of 17, appeared. He had a glare in his eyes, and light green hair.

"Hey, I know this guy. MiT Sooru…" Tidus search for the name on the list, but he lost his grip, and a breeze blew it towards the lake, "Oh no!" The blitz ball player jumped after it without thinking. He was submerged into the white rapids.

"Oh, he's so cute… Uh, well, not as cute as you, Kuja-ie." Shannon gave Kuja a smile.

"If he's on the list, we should ask him to come along." Garnet ran up to the boy and tapped him on the shoulder, "Um excuse me?"

With a flinch, the boy suddenly turned into a demon- a cute demon monster. He had red rage. He summoned up his magic, and used wind to bow the group off the cliff also.

"Ah- HA! I can fly, "The thief laughed hysterically, taunting the demon as he flapped his jet black wings. However, he soon realized Kasey was falling to her dome- ant the others. "Oh damn." Risky, he dived down to catch his sweetheart just before she hit the rocks.

Zidane, Shannon , Kuja, Garnet, and Yuna all fell safely in the water. Unfortunately, Eico did not. Dark flew off with Kasey, unconscious, everyone –except Eico- washed to the shore.

"I can't believe it!"

"Yeah, I know, he saves Kasey, but no one else."

No- he took all my money! That thief!" Zidane kicked the ground with anger.

"Well," Shannon started to point out, "Maybe that's why they call him Phantom 'Thief' Dark."

"Oh shut up. Hey, why didn't you call your dragons?"

"I don't' get free long distance out here."

Zidane sighed hopelessly at Shannon 's reply. "Now what are we suppose to do?"

Then they all heard random mummer of a little boy's voice, "Hey!"

"What the hell is that?" The group turned to over to where the voice came from. They walked over to a small cabin with a chain lock. "Oh, look, a lock. Looks like we can't go in then."

The smart ass genome walked away grinning until Kuja pulled him back by the collar. "You give up too easily." Kuja walked over and casted 'Break' on the door. Predictably, the lock fell to the ground

"YEEEE- I'm FrEEE!" a little rodent boy bounced out of the doorway.

"Who are you?"

"Me? I'm Roger."

"…Okay, let be me more specific. What are you?" Zidane glanced down at the little boy and started confusingly at his rodent ears and tail."

"Hey, watch how you talk to the Captain of A Certain Ship."

"Aww" Garnet smiled as she ran over to cuddle the boy.

"This is just stupid, saving a little kid. What a complete waste of my time." Kuja turned around to walk away.

However, the little boy was able to get out of Garnet's arms to follow, "Hey, where are you going?"

"Nowhere."

"Can I come?"

"No."

"Please?"

Kuja gave growl, "I said no!"

"Come on."

"No!" Kuja lifted Roger by his coat and threw him back in the cabin, and shut the door. "Okay, let's go."

"How could you do that to him?! Now he's trapped in there again." The Sympathetic princess frowned.

"He can escape; it doesn't take a genius to notice that the windows are open."

"ohh…" With a shrug, Garnet put on a smile and skipped down the shore.

"So, can we get going now?"

"Well, if you haven't noticed, Garnet is already dancing away. Besides, where can we go? We're between a steep cliff and an un-crossable lake."

With a shake of his head and Zidane's stupidity, Kuja grabbed his brother's head and pointed to a cave further down the shore. "Would it kill you to be observant?"

"Oh Look, Zidane a Cave!" Garnet waved to the rest of the group after she discover there was a cave five feet in front of her.

Seeing that it was the only way to continue on there quest, the group walked through the dark cave.

"Ow!"

"Yuna, are you okay?" Tidus hurried to help Yuna off the ground.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I tripped on something."

"Try 'anything'. I can't even see my hand in front of my face." After a 'click' a huge blaze of light filled up the cave and blinded everyone. As soon as they were to obtain their eyesight, they turned to Shannon .

"What the hell is that?!"

"Pssh, a flashlight. This is the best one money can buy. Don't tell me that you've never seen one before? Oh wait, that's right, you don't have money at all."

"I do to…It's…um…"Zidane checked his pockets for the gil that fairy gave them. When he found none he remembered Dark stole it, "Damn Thief."

With a flicker, Shannon 's flash light when out, "Stupid batteries." The unsatisfied girl threw the worthless item across the cave.

"Hey look!" Yuna ran over to another dimmer light source, and everyone else follwed. Soon the came ina room full of light, and above them was a glamorous sight. A gorgeous, vertical city of gold and silver, sparkling springs all surrounded by shimmering trees. "oOo, what is this place?"

"Isn't this Filinuie, also known as the elf city?

"Ohh, Kuja-Babes, your so smart." Awed by his sexy knowledge, Shannon hugged his arm.

"Filinuie? That sounds familiar…" Tidus took out the list and scrolled for the name.

"Wait, how did you get that?"

"I picked it up."

"Didn't it fall into the lake?"

Tidus thought for a moment before her answered, " Hmm… …Guess not." He went back to looking at the list, "A guy named Lego-less is here."

"Does that mean her has no legos? How sad." Garnet looked down depressed, but quickly forgot about being sad and went back to smiling again.

Shannon took the list to look at it, "No, it says' Leg-less. He can't be hard to find, Poor guy probably has no legs."

Just then, an elf guard come up, "Are you looking for Sir Legolus?"

"oOo, 'Sir.' Does that mean he's married?" Everyone rolled there eyes at Garnet's dumb question.

"Yes, we are looking for him. Could you show us were he is?"

"This way," the guard led the journeyers to the top of the city, and then into a gold colored room.

Shannon curled her mouth at the choice of element, "ew…gold? Silver is so much better."

The Princess put on a confuse look, "How can silver be better if gold is more expensive?"

"Garnet just shut up." The guard took them into another room, on to more of Shannon 's preference, "oOo, it's so pretty." The blonde ran around looking at the silver mirrors, and silver objects that worked like mirrors, "Look I can see myself everywhere. I'm so pretty…"

"This is as far as I can take you."

"Does that mean we can't see Lego-less?"

"Well, no. He's the king of Elves, so not strangers can see him."

"Great. How can we ask him about the list and Steve (dunt dunt daa)

The guard put on a shocked look, "Steve?!?!" (Dunt dunt daa) "In that case, you are required to go in." He then opened the door to the Royal Chamber.

"Some guard he is." Zidane mumble under his breath as the whole group walked into a large room full of archery equipment.

A silver Recurve caught Shannon 's eyes. "oh, I like this one so much better then mine… No one an have anything better then me. Mine now." The girl snickered to herself as she tucked the bow and arrows in her jacket.

Tidus looked around the room confused, "Okay… so where is he?" There was nothing besides the weapon and an empty throne. "O…kay."

"Is someone there?" A voice yelled out from another room, "I'm in here" The gullible group walked suspiciously through the next doorway that led them outside with trees and a bright sun overcast.

Still searching for Legolus, Yuna walked a few paces forward, but jumped for her life as an arrow came her way, "I-eek!"

"Oh, sorry about that." A tall, young, elfish man with thin blonde hair and a weird obsession with archery came towards them.

Shannon crossed her arms considering it was time for her to criticize someone, "Pssh, you call that a shot? That's pathetic."

Startled by the blunt boasting from a stranger, Legolus raised an eyebrow, "Excuse me? You think you can do better?"

She smiled, "I know I can."

"Alright, then I challenge you to a match."

"Okay, I'll accept, but you'll regret it." The blonde pulled out the bow that she stolen and stringed it up.

"Hey, that's mine!"

"Hmm, you know, I'm pretty sure it's mine."

The elf growled at the girl's arrogance, "Fine. Winner gets to be claimed archery Master and the rightful owner of that bow."

"Works for me."

The tall bleach-blonde elf pulled back on his string, and released it. The arrow went through the trees- not hitting a specified target.

Shannon was unimpressed as she tapped her foot impatiently, "… wow, that intimidates me. There's no way I can get a better shot then someone who missed the target." There was sarcasm in her voice.

"That was just a warm up."

"You can warm up all year; you still won't get any hotter."

At that moment, the elf felt a lot of pressure. He loaded another arrow and aimed. When he released the bow string, the arrow was dead on to the target, but then it rikashaded off and came straight back at the elf. In too much unbelief, the elf failed to dodge the oncoming arrow. He fell down dead as the arrow hit him in the face.

"I guess I win." The Victor walked back to the others as she was admiring her new bow.

" Shannon ?!? Wha'd you do?!"

"What? I didn't do anything. It was the arrow that killed him, not me."

"Do you even know who that was?"

"No, should I?" Tidus pulled out his stupid list again and pointed to a picture of Legolus. "Hey, that guy looks like….oh. My bad. Shall we continue on?

"We can't just walk out of here, we'll get caught."

"I know- let's climb." Zidane jumped up on a tree to demonstrate his idea.

"I'll get my outfit dirty."

"Uhh, Zidane, if you haven't noticed, only you and this dude have tails."

"Oh well. Then we will wait for you at the top."

With many groans and complaints, they all eventually agreed, and they began to climb up out of the valley.


	51. A sweet date

Kasey woke up from her long sleep in a bed with a pounding head ache. Looking around she found no one in sight. "Hmm, where am I?" The girl got up and walked over to a sign:

_Welcome to the Dasha Vew Suite. We will make your day as pleasant as we can. Thank you._

"Well, that answers one question. Now, to work on 'how did I get here'?" Kasey walked over to the door, but before she could open it, it flung open to show Dark and a try full of Breakfast.

"Oh, you're up, feeling better?" He placed the food on the table and leaned back in a chair.

"I don't know. My head kind of hurts."

"Yeah... sorry 'bout that. Last night I kind of bumped it on the door." The thief made an innocent smile.

"What happened?

"Before you got knocked out?

"Yeah."

"Well, remember that strong wind?"

"Um… yeah. That demon boy blew us all off the cliff. What happen to the others?"

Dark rolled his eyes, getting a little defensive, "Well I only have two hands, and it's not like my wings…" The thief paused as he noticed the blank expression on Kasey's face. He rubbed his chin and then asked, "You hungry? I know a great place that's right across the street,"

"Oh…yeah. Sure." She gave a shrug and got up to follow Dark.

Across the street was a fancy seafood restaurant. Amazingly, it was right next to the perfect view of the ocean near by. Inside there were beautifully carved tables and the chairs where made out of bamboo. The waitress and waiters commonly wore flower clothing.

The hostess smiled widely as Dark and Kasey entered the restaurant, "Good day, seating for two?"

"Yeah," Lowering his voice, Dark whisper to the hostess, "The special reservation for two."

He gave her a little wink, and the girl blushed, "Oh! Right this way, Mr. Dark." Smiling the young hostess lead the couple upstairs to a private balcony over the ocean.

Kasey awed the sight and gave Dark a cooked smile, "Special Reservation?"

He gave a smile back, "Nothing but the best for the most beautiful angel on this dreadful planet." He pulled her seat out and gestured Kasey to sit, but the girl's attention quickly turned to an aquarium full of lobsters.

With a gasp, she ran to look at them, "Aww, they're so cute! I'm naming this one pinchie- oh, and he's going to be shelly, and--"

"Would the young lady like to pick out a lobster?" A chief cut her off as he suddenly showed up at her side. "Now, this guy is a biggy. If you want great taste, he's the way to go."

"Yeah, we'll take two of the finest lobsters." Dark came up behind Kasey and put his arms around her.

"Okay, I'll boil them up."

Shocked hit the girls face, "You're going to kill them!?"

"You don't… want to eat them…?"

Kasey's voice went into a high pitch, "But they're so cute, how could you eat them-- don't kill them!"

Dark gave a sigh, "Um… you know, I'll buy the whole tank." He looked down at Kasey, "We'll have them transported to our room alive." The girl put on a gleeful grin. "Come on, let's have some sushi."

Halfway through their meal, Dark ordered a dessert to share and asked Kasey an unusual question, "Dolphins. Have you ever seen or received a message from the pure ocean written by the second most intelligent creatures?"

"Heehee…what?" She giggles at the thought, "No."

All Dark did was point out the window. Following the direction of his finger, Kasey looked out of the fancy over-look of the ocean. Out of the water, a line of dolphins popped up to spell:

'U R BEAUTIFUL'

Kasey smiled, but as she glanced back at Dark he pointed out the window again. The dolphins changed their formation and spelt another message:

'KISS ME?'

The next time Kasey looked back at Dark, she gladly answered his request with a 'yes'.

Meanwhile, the rest of the group were climbing themselves out of the valley with mush struggle.

"Ah, Zidaney, my arms hurt. Can we stop? Oh, carry me!"

"Oh come on Garnet- toughen up." Zidane continued to swing from tree branch to tree branch like the monkey he is while Tidus, Garnet, and Yuna rock climb the bolders and rocks.

Tidus kept gripping the loose stones that always result him sliding down two feet. "Arg, that's easy for you to say. You don't have to worry of having random pebbles rolling down and hitting you in the face."

"You know, if you were a man-- which you're not-- you wouldn't be whining like a mule and learn to ignore such little pain." That was the 16th insult Shannon made about the Blitz ball player as the group made their way up the cliff like hill. The girls' way of climbing was for once, not having someone carry her like she would prefer. Taking two short blades, she used them to grip the tree as she traveled up. Kuja followed closely behind to catch his girl, just in case she'd slip. "See the trick is to get to the top. The sooner you get there, the faster you can stop climbing… and you're whining." The blond proved her point by doing a couple more flips, a swing on the branch, to land perfectly on her feet at the edge of the mountain. After she did a cute little victory pose, she yawned, stepped back and disappeared from sight with a high scream.

" Shannon !?" Panicky, Kuja jumped to the cliff followed by Zidane and the rest. On the top of the cliff there was a steep drop, covered in tall leafy trees and weedy looking plants, on the other side.

"Whoa! This valley is like a giant bowl in a mountain!" Tidus had his eyes wide in amazement because… apparently he was amazed.

"Wow, great observation there, Blondie. I think Garnet's smarts are rubbing off on ya."

"Yay!" Missing the whole point or any idea of Zidane's insult towards Tidus, Garnet cheered at the fact that Zidane said her name.

Lifting an eyebrow to the Princess' weird action, Kuja directed his comment to Zidane, "Ya know… I thought a girl had to be completely mentally ill to be attracted to you, or even want you. Honestly, it scares me that she even exists."

The blond Genome gave a snarl, "Well at least I'm not married to a compulsive, self-centered, narcissistic brat. Hmm… kid of a lot like you."

Zidane's brother gave a shrug, "Eh, perfect match. But at least my woman is conscience when I have her in bed."

Garnet turned to look up at Zidane, "Hey…what does that mean?"

"I told you that in confidential privacy!" Zidane lunged for his brother's throat. The two wrestle until Kuja slipped, and they both tumbled down the grassy hill.

As soon as they rolled out of sight—hidden by the trees—Tidus gave a deep sigh. "Wow, for a moment there I thought he was talking about me."

"How would Kuja know—wait, what do you mean you thought he was talking about you?!"

Putting on a shy smile, Tidus changed the subject, "Oh look- a cliff. Hope I don't fall—oh no," with that the blond jumped down to join the genomes.

"Hmm, maybe it's like sledding." Excited, Garnet took hold of Yuna's arm and, she too, jumped down—taking Yuna with her.

Plowing fast to the bottom, the two girls stopped when they hit something small and soft. "Oww, that's the fourth time. You guys have to watch were you're going." Recognizing the accent, Yuna and Garnet looked up and saw Mary and Pippin smoking pipes. "Gees, people these days."

The two girls got up, brushed themselves off to sit with the rest of the group. Now that everyone has taken the trip down the mountain, Tidus started questioning the hobbits, "We're have you two been?"

"Yeah, drinking's no fun since they expired your tab."

"Well, after we've stumbled into this forest with delicious mushrooms, we couldn't leave."

"Wait—mushrooms?" It took a while for everyone to notice that they were sitting around a group of blue glowing mushrooms with eyes, and were singing a soft tune in beautiful harmony.

"Oi! Look, Kuja—mushrooms, glowing mushrooms—That sing!!!" Shannons excitement of seeing the mushrooms creep everyone out. She smiled and adored the little fungi.

Flattered, one of the little mushrooms stopped and spoke up to the blond, "Well, if you like me now, toots, wait till you give me a taste." Kuja just rolled his eyes, like the shroom had a chance with his wife. "Come on—eat me."

"Okay"

Startled by Shannon's reply, Kuja quickly tried to stop her, "Wait, Shannon don't-"

But he failed as Shannon already gulped the mushroom down. "mMmm, delicious. Kuja you have to try them."

"Shannon! You had no idea is those things are poisonous. Never listen to your food."

"Pssh, it's perfectly safe—look at Mary and Pippin." Glancing over to the two hobbits that were staring off into the distance with a scary glaze, foaming from the mouth, and random weak laughs, Kuja sighed.

"I swear Shannon; gullible is written on the ceiling."

Yuna quickly looked up from Kuja's comment, "Where!?"

Garnet gave a blank stare of confusion. "That's silly, who would take the time to write 'gullible' on the ceiling? It's more noticeable if you had it on the wall."

The silver-haired genome shook his head at the curse of traveling with dumb companions.

"Ahh, Kuja-babe, lighten up. Here try one." The girl grabbed a pile of mushrooms and shoved them up to Kuja.

There blinky, beebe eyes just looked up at him, "Ah, get those things out of my face!"

"Aww, you'll hurt their feelings." She turned her attention to the fungi. "Aww, you're so adorable. I could just eat you all up." As she snuggles her face into her armful of glowing mushrooms, she started chowing them down.

"Dear? Okay darling… I think that's enough mushrooms for you." Kuja reached out to get her attention, but the blonde backed away with a snarl.

"No, Mine!"

"Okay… Put the mushrooms down…"

"Never! They're all mine—MINE!" With that, Shannon got up and ran off deeper into the woods with the mushrooms. Kuja was left with a worried look on his face.

Zidane cracked a laugh as he pat Kuja on the back, "Dude, your woman's addicted to fungus… That explains why she married you."

"Shut your damn mouth." With a sigh, Kuja go up to go retrieve his girl and hopefully cure her newest addiction before it ends up like her Diet Pepsi one. Zidane gave a shrug and went with him, followed by the others. Honestly, they had nothing better to do. Mary and Pippin seemed brain dead, and the mushrooms creep them out.

As they walked in the forest in search for Shannon, the trees became denser and the woods became darker. Soon they were walking in a dream where glowing mushrooms lightened the paths, the leaves glittered and the trees had a luminous dark blue glow. Once in a while there would be a dark purple-red sparkling flower along the way that Garnet had to pick.

That's basically the scenery for the longest time until the group saw something that glowed bluer and took up a bigger area. Garnet became all excited when her eyes caught a gimps of it, everyone else just didn't care. "Ooo, sugar pie-bumpkin, let's go look at it!" Grabbing Zidane by the arm, she ran through the trees to what turned out to be a large pond. The princess quickly knelt down to see if she could see the bottom.

Zidane rolled his eyes, but then the pond gave him a familiar, but eerie though, 'When the light turns red, then we'll be happy.' The blond genome stood there in a deep trance.

"When the light turns red, when the light turns red… Red light."

A certain pain struck Zidane, "Shut up, shut up!" The genome closed his eyes, put his hands on his ears, and fell to his knees, "Shut Up!"

Kuja snickered at his younger brother's reaction. Evil was in his eyes as he gave a laugh. With a little illusion he made the pond blood red. To get Zidane to look, the sorcerer put him on the back, "Relax, it's only a pool of beer."

"Beer?" The word broke the trance, but the red light broke Zidane's sanity when he opened his eyes, "Noooooo!!!" and he took off running with Garnet following close behind.

"Zidane, come back!"

"Whahahahahah!!!!" Kuja backed to lean up on a tree as he bacame weaker of laughing out of joy and pleasure.

Yuna could only scowl in discuss, "How could you be so cruel? You're such a bastrt!" She shook her head and stormed off.

"Hmph." Kuja's eyes glared back at her. He turned his gaze to Tidus, "What about you?"

"The blond cheaply smiled and backed away slightly; the sorcerer seemed a bit intimidating to the blitz ball player. "Ha…ha… well, um… you know…uh …" As soon as Kuja raised an eyebrow—hoping it'd make the blond speak—Tidus jumped, and fled.

The poor genome was left to himself grumbling, "Pssh, Shannon would think it was funny… …" He gave a sigh and went off on is own.

Finally, he found his love taking gibberish in a high voice underneath a tree. She was smiling and giggling. Feeling a little irritated that he may became replaced by creepy little fungi. Kuja kicked the ground in the front of Shannon, the glowing mushrooms either flew a few feet in the air, or crushed under the genome's foot.

Gasping in shock, Shannon seemed as if she would choke on air, "Kuja! What the bloody hell!!" The girl's mood rapidly changed from anger to pathetic sympathy for the mushrooms, "Oh my poor babies. My crushed little darlings, aww…" The girls picked up the pieces and paused knowing she couldn't put then back together.

Filled with a little guilt, Kuja tried to convince himself it was for the girl's own good. "Darling, Shannon… There only creepy, intoxicated mushrooms."

Her only answer was a sniff. She looked up at her husband with eyes of a kicked puppy. Before she was about to say something, a cute newly mushroom popped out of the decaying fungus, "Hellow!"

Shannon's spirits was shot up again, "Oi, it's a mushroom." With a big smile, the blonde picked it up to eat it.

"Wait!" The mushroom squeal stopped Shannon that instant, "First you must worship the Shroom King."

"Huh?" The girl looked up and saw a giant mushroom-- a glowing, sparkling, giant mushroom. "Mushroom." Shannon got up, ran a few feet, stopped and awed it. She slowly owed to the ground and chanted, "Giant Shroom King."

Kuja clasped his hand against his head. "Wow… never thought I'd live to see the day."


End file.
